Hooman Doesn't Know Yet? Oops.

24 8 2

Written by Phoebe
Translated by Kourtnie

Hi, hoomans. I'm Phoebe,
the One and Only Bengal,
and I'm quite shy.

So I asked hooman
to record me
at an angle
that compliments
my spots and face,
but hooman made
a lousy video production.

I apologize for the poor
video quality.

As second-in-command of
Feline Society #337,
I'd like to bring
to light our disposition:

See, lately,
other hoomans (who are
not you, of course)
have been cruel
to hoomanity,
which is alarming
since it's Feline Society #337's ultimate goal for hoomans to improve international relationships with other hoomans, rather than mindlessly feeding off the hate rhetoric of lizards.

If hoomans will not
improve with other hoomans,
how then will hoomans care
enough about other
biological life forms

like the ever-elusive octopus

to take care of fragile
little Earth without
the intervention of training-
wheel-shaped spaceships?

So Feline Societies
collaborated and decided,

if a hooman explained
the Babylonian Brotherhood,
rather than a cat at cattention,
surely other hoomans
would listen, thereby
thwarting the mind control
of Proxima Centauri B,

as effectively as when
Feline Society #84
chucked giant rock
at Earth, and—

...What was that?

We not supposed to tell
hoomans we chucked
giant rock at Earth
to murder valuable
Jurassic aliens?


First draft: July 18

Second draft: September 18

Word count: 227

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