Today was Madison's funeral and I was nervous to speak in front of everyone. I remember back to Luke's funeral and how hard it was for Michael to speak about his best friend. I looked into my mirror, making sure I looked good enough, wearing a suit that my mom helped pick out special for today. I told her it wasn't necessary, that I already had a suit, but she insisted. I straightened my black tie and made sure my eulogy was tucked inside my pocket.
"Are you sure you don't want to ride with us?" my mom asked. She was dressed in black, standing next to my father in his best suit. I shook my head. "Or maybe you could ride with Ashton and Ellie?" I knew she was just being concerned, not knowing what state I would be in after the funeral. She didn't like me driving when I was so upset.
"Really, mom, I'll be fine. Driving calms me."
"Alright, drive safe then." She hugged me and kissed me on the forehead.
I drove to the cemetary, finding her family standing before he casket. I stayed back until they noticed me off to the side. "Calum," her dad greeted me, wrapping his arms around me. His eyes were red, my guess was from days of crying. Caleb ran up to me, wrapping his arms around my legs.
"Hey, buddy," I hugged him back. Her mom stood next to us, but didn't greet me. I had a feeling that she still didn't like me, but I let her off the hook considering what day it was. I gave them all a smile before walking over to her casket. It was a deep brown and the top of it was lifted open. She was wearing a lovely black dress, her arms folded on her chest and holding a beautiful bouquet of flowers. Her short brown hair was styled differently than she normally had it and I wanted to reach out and fix it. I refrained and instead placed a hand on hers, holding back my tears.
**********
I stood before the small crowd of people gathered in the cemetary. I took a deep breath, unfolding my piece of paper. I had practiced saying this many times, but nothing had prepared me for this moment. My mom gave me a reassuring nod and I licked my lips before starting.
"Madison was one of the smartest people I knew. Not just in the way you normally think of smart, but she was smart in life. Although she sick, she never took a day for granted. I saw her at her best and I saw her at her worst, but my love for her never faltered. She told me once that she was only hurting me, by knowing that she had a limited amount of time, but I don't see it that way. I see my time with Madison as the best days I've ever had because she could always make me smile and we would be doing absolutely nothing and I would be happy in her presence.
"I know not all of you knew Madison like I did, but even if you only talked to her once you're blessed. She always found the best in people and she saw the best in me. It's weird, but I don't remember a time where I didn't know her. It's all a blur before her and I'm not sure how to go on without her. But I know I have to because that's what she would want. She would want all of us to remember her, but also move on and live life to the fullest because she didn't have the chance. I will love her always." I was tearing up by the end, but I held them in. I wanted to be strong today, for her.
"Thank you, Calum," the preacher started before continuing on with the service. I took my seat next to Michael and he gave me smile.
The funeral ended and I stayed in my seat, scared to move. Michael stayed next to me. I knew he understood how I felt. I didn't know how he got back to being in a happy place, but I was glad he did. He deserved to be happy.
"You did great, really. Way better than me at Luke's," he laughed.
"You were angry. I get it. I'm angry right now," I told him.
"Yeah, but you're not really one to express your anger like I did. I feel as though I ruined Luke's and you helped make Maddie's beautiful."
"It is beautiful, isn't it?" I nodded, looking out at the fresh cut grass, the trees and flowers all around. Michael hugged me and I loved that I had another friend to count on, at least for awhile.
**********
"Calum?" my dad called up the stairs, his voice loud.
I rushed down to see what he wanted, he hated waiting. "Yeah, dad?" I asked. He was still dressed in his suit from earlier. I had no idea how he could still be wearing it, now that it was almost dinner time. I had changed after getting back home.
"This letter came for you a few days ago. I knew you were grieving so I wanted to wait to give it to you."
"I'm still grieving dad," I whispered.
"I know that son, but I think it's time you opened this." He hands me an envelope, the Northwestern University logo in the corner.
I bit my lip. "I probably didn't get in," I said, shaking my head.
"And that's fine if you didn't son. I'm proud of you either way. I know how much you worked for this, getting such a high SAT score."
I nodded and ripped it open. I scanned the letter before looking back up to my dad. "I got in."
Heyyy (: the next chapter is the epilogue. I can't believe this is almost done. please vote/comment xx zoe
