Devote [book 1]

38 (Lucas) *

Everything felt right. At this moment at this time, I felt like in my life I had actually fulfilled it. Even if I was in the middle of a family argument.

"Cristiano, stop it. You can't just do what you want without thinking of the consequences," my father said. You could tell that he was trying hard to not explode. I could even feel his anger radiating.

"No padre, you can't keep on making these choices for me and manipulating me. You let Lucas do what he wants, I'm a grown adult. I don't need you to be there for me every step of the way, I'm not a baby anymore."

Cristiano had tears sliding down his face.

"Padre, I get that you want what you believe to be best for me, but I can handle myself just fine." With that, Cristiano walked out the room, my dad was slumped and tired.

"You know, he's right," I said.

"Now you want to talk, after everything is done and over with."

I knew he was right. I didn't talk during their argument but it's because my opinion would either have made everything worse or better. I understood both the sides they were standing on but that didn't mean that I would get involved.

I walked out the room and went towards the backyard where I knew Cristiano would go.

"Why do you want to get involved into something like that? You know what would happen," I silently wished that at least me words would convince him or at least let him think over everything in his mind.

Either way, I would always be there to support him, even if it isn't the right choice in my opinion.

"She can't do that though, what gives her the right to. He is my son, a son I didn't even know I had. He is growing up thinking his dad abandoned him. I don't want that and I thought at least papa would listen," he said.

I could never understand how he's feeling, but I could imagine the pain.

If Imogen would do that to me, I would feel betrayed and heartbroken. No one deserves to not know or be in the life of their child.

Especially Cristiano. He is one of the kindest and understanding person, even if we aren't blood related, he is my brother and my parents' son.

With Cristiano having had a drug addiction and an alcohol problem, he had been told my doctors that he couldn't have children and that was probably the hardest and saddest part of his life. He went into a deep depression and promised to get better.

He then met Lily. She was the one who helped him more than anyone, she was the one he trusted more than his family. Then, after three or four years, she just left. Disappeared and never came back.

He saw her at the hospital that one time when he went to see our cousin who had gotten beat up. She had a son, who closely resembled Cristiano. He has the same hair and eyes and nose shape as Cristiano, he has Lily's skin color and ears.

No one was as mad as our dad who was about ready to call his lawyer but we knew that it would be the wrong choice and would cause a hell-load of trouble.

Cristiano, he almost went back to his old ways. The drugs were laying on his desk when I had went to see him.

I knock on the door before opening it slightly. The lights are off and the only source of light is coming through the barely opened curtains. The sun slowly setting and turning the sky into various colors.

Cristiano was hunched over his computer desk, his room was a mess with everything all over the floor, some of it shattered and others still intact.

"What happened in here?" I ask.

"Lily," he whispered.

If I weren't paying attention then I wouldn't have had heard what he said.

But hearing her name, I knew something bad happened. We never mention her, not after what she did to Cristiano.

"What about her?" I ask as I slowly inch towards him.

I spot tiny white pills on his desk. My eyes widen in horror as I think of what's he done.

"Cris, what did you do?" I grab the pills and stuff them away.

"I was thinking, deciding on whether to take them or not," his voice slightly faltered and his sniffles echoed through the room.

"What about Lily?" I asked, not knowing whether to continue or leave it be.

"She has a son," he says.

I wait for him to continue, knowing he wasn't finished.

"My son," he finished.

His son? He can't have children, what does he mean by his son.

"What?"

"Lucas, I. Have. A. Son." He said each word slowly and put emphasis on them. He was looking at me with his tear stained face.

I wanted to take the pain he was feeling away. I've never seen my brother this sad before other than when Lily left him.

"I thought that you couldn't have children."

I felt completely lost. My mind was trying to find a way to figure this out. What if it wasn't his son?

"Are you sure it's yours?" I ask.

He throws a picture towards me. I pick it up to see a little boy who looks exactly like Cristiano.

"I took a picture before they left," he said.

"Cris, how old is he?"

"He looks five," he says.

My mind starts to connect the puzzle pieces one by one.

"She was pregnant with your son when she left you," I said.

The anger I felt was enough to feel like there was steam coming out of my ears.

"I know," he said.

I looked at him shocked, not knowing he knew that she was pregnant.

"What?" I asked.

He explained to me about how he had found out the day she left when he found a pregnant test in their bathroom, hidden in the cabinets. He told me that he just didn't know if it was his son. He didn't care whether it was or not, he would accept that baby as if it was his.

I never liked seeing how broken he was, I hated to see how he hid what he actually felt. What was worse was that he could easily mask those feelings.

"Do what you need to do, but just know that once you go ahead with whatever plan you do decide with, don't regret it afterwards."

Just a filler chapter!!

This chapter is an important chapter for book 2 since it's going to be Cristianos book and everything there will just be sad and it won't be having smut after smut after smut. I'm sorry :(