Devote [book 1]

18

⚠️ this chapter may be a trigger and if you are uncomfortable reading a rape scene then I suggest you skip this chapter or go all the way to the end. Though I do not suggest you skip because it is crucial towards the book. For those who decide they can't read it, I will include a summary at the bottom explaining everything. Have a great reading time!

If there's one thing I learned in the US, it was to never walk alone at night, especially in the bad part of towns. Being in Egypt, the same rule applies for I am now screaming for my life.

"Please, stop! Let me go! I'll give you all the money I have!" It felt as though my lungs were constricting and a headache was forming. My throats was starting to become dry and hurting from the screams and yells I've had.

I was being dragged into an alleyway by some burly, drunk man. After all my kicking and screaming, I found it useless to continue fighting and accepted what was going to happen.

*******

I lay in the floor, shivering from the coldness with my hands covering my naked body.

I stared at the retreating shadow of the burly man and felt the tears dry on my face. I look around finding any piece of my clothing. Anything would suffice.

Slowly and carefully I put whatever clothes on that wasn't ruined. With my hair sticking to my face and my body aching, I made the journey back home. I did anything to distract my wondering mind from replaying the events that took place.

I felt useless and helpless.

As I looked at the ongoing traffic, I noticed that I was close to home. And next to my neighborhood was the hotel.

I didn't want to see him, I didn't want to see anyone.

************

The hot water burned my skin as I washed the remnants of the events, scrubbing my body until it was red.

I felt tears going down my face, thanking that I was in the shower where the water and my salty tears mixed.

The marks and bruises present on my skin are reminders of my rapist. The fingers he wrapped around my throat to stop my screaming and the way he muffled my pleas of help. I bled in between my legs in the most private area because I was never experienced. My virginity was taken, I was a silenced victim.

I got out and got dressed into my pajama pants and top. I brushed my hair and laid down on the bed. Staring at the ceiling with my eyes watering and filling to the brim with tears.

I closed my eyes trying to get rid of the thoughts and trying to forget everything.

The thoughts that told me to pick up a blade, to get a gun, to tie the rope.

I huddled into a ball and stared ahead. Sleep wasn't coming easy with the traumatizing stuff that happened. Living here made me feel safe but now it felt like I didn't even know where I was.

2 a.m.

My eyelids felt heavy but every time I closed my eyes it was like everything else was unraveling all over again.

I stayed awake until I heard a knock on my door.

My eyebrows knitted together wondering who would come here late at night.

I stood by the door with a knife in my hand in case it was the burly man or a robber.

The peep hole was no use because the darkness out didn't show the mans face.