Main Chick

XV.

I never knew I could hurt like this, and everyday life goes on; I wish I could talk to you for a while, miss you but I try not to cry as time goes by.

And its true that you've reached a better place, still I'd give the world to see your face.

And I'm right here next to you, but it's like you're gone too soon.

Now the hardest thing to do, is say bye bye.

.................

"Hi" I answer the phone.

"Did you want red or blue?" Van asks.

"Get them both please, and lots of gold".

"Alright. See you in 20".

.

I showered and got dressed for the day ahead. Van took Jaleo to daycare this morning, and the others just sit in their rooms all day.

It's okay for now, but after New Years; it's over. I don't want them to be like me, holding on to long. I'm strong, but my feelings run for a while.

.

I pulled my skinnys up, and threw a plain white tank over my head.

"Did you guys eat?" I yell down the hall. They all answer yes, so I slump downstairs to let Gramz out, but I see Van already did.

.

He walks in the house with a huge box of wrapping paper; blue, red, gold, and white, he also has a big ass red bag of toys for the kids.

"I told you to stop buying them stuff" I explain, grabbing a mug from the cupboard.

I already have enough gifts for them, and it was hard not to buy pointless things. They aren't filling this house up with junk they won't use.

"It's not all their's, your not to old for gifts are you?" he smirks, putting everything in the Laundry nook. We're keeping all the goods in there as we wrap them.

I pour myself a tea, and fire up the toaster for a bagel.

"Just don't go overboard, clearly you have a shopping addiction" I point.

"Look, I use to spend Christmas with just my Ant Doll; no one else. My father didn't care, my mother left me, and I simply had no other family. I loved Ant Doll; she treated me like her own, but it was always just the two of us. So yea I'm going all out, I have a family to share this with now".

I get it, and I understand. Vans Ant Doll died 4 years ago, of breast cancer. He told me how she was the only person that truly loved him, all he had was his mother, Aunt, and father, and Ant Doll was the only one who stayed.

I sigh, given in "knock yourself out".

Christmas is the day after tomorrow, and Van will be spending it with us; hopefully Olivia will be too.

Tina has had her for almost 3 weeks now, but with Van staying here; she hasn't been able to just run up on him and drop Olivia off.

.

"I will" he kisses my cheek.

"So, is my Livia going to see her daddy this Christmas?".

He says he's waiting to ask, because he thinks Tina will leave Olivia again, and he wants Olivia to see her mother that day.

I know Van fears Olivia is going to end up like him... abandoned by her mother. He has eyes on Tina, making sure she doesn't try anything stupid with his daughter; he has eyes on Grace too, just in case her baby is his.