Leon, Leon (BoyxNB romance)

Chapter 18

As soon as we got home, my super secret (As in, secret even to me) overprotective grandmother instinct kicked in. I realised how cold it was out there, and it had probably rained at one point too during the day, so the last thing I wanted was for him to catch some bug on top of all of this. God, I felt like I wanted to cry. And be sick, probably at the same time. It’s the nerves, dafty, I thought. You’re going to give him a bath, not perform open heart surgery.

“Right, ok,” I said, talking to him and myself equally, “So on the agenda we have a couple of things. I know you want to sleep, but just let me sort you out for the next half an hour and then you’re free to take up whichever bed in the house you want. But first, you need a wash. No offence, but your hair is icky, and you also have blood on you, which is slightly concerning. Do you remember how you were bleeding?” He pointed to his lips, and his nostrils. “Alright, fair enough, but he didn’t,” I paused, “Hurt you with anything else? Like nothing was thrown at you, or anything like that?”
He shook his head. “Okay, right. Small mercies, small mercies.” I took a deep breath in. “So do you think you’re going to be ok to walk upstairs? And honest answers, now. If you can’t, then say, I don’t want you to get more hurt.”
“I... I’m sorry,” he said, frowning. I wasn’t sure if it was related to the question or not, but I didn’t want to risk it.
“Right, um, okay,” I said, trying to think as hard as I could. “Yeah, cool, that’s fine. I’m going to get the bowl from the sink, okay? And a chair, so you just lean against the wall, hold the door if you need to, and I’ll be right back.” He seemed hesitant to let go of me, but I was free, eventually.

I took the plastic tub out from the sink, threw the dirty cutlery and plated to the side, and filled it up with warm water. Thankfully, Mam’s shopping day was usually a Wednesday, so the unused shampoo and shower gel bottles were still in a bag on the table. It was my sister’s – some stuff that smelt of vanilla and made her hair all shiny, but fuck it, it would do for now. And to be honest, after bringing home a boy she’s never met and also hates, I think using some of her soap is the least of my problems once she comes home.

I walked as quickly as I could with the bowl full of water balanced on an old stool – thank God my sister was arty – and wrapped my arm back around my waist and pulled him up. “You steady?” I asked as he tried to keep himself up. I got a tea towel from the radiator, and put it around his shoulders. I could see him leaning into the warmth, and I added fill up the hot water bottle to my mental list.

I cupped my hands and gently poured down some of the warm water down the back of his head. “Feel good?”
He nodded. “Thank you.”
“It’s okay, Leon,” I smiled, standing on tiptoes to look up and over at his face. It still hurt me to see him like he was, but at least he was smiling. “I’m glad I found you. How long were you out there?”
“I leaved the house at... seven, I think.”
“Seven in the morning?”
“No, in the night.” I looked down at my phone, running my hand through his hair with the other.
“Leon, you can’t have. It’s only five now.” I paused. “Wait, you’ve been there for a whole day?”
I felt him flinch from the way my voice raised. “Not there. I was behind the Tesco shop, for most of the night. It was cold, but the roof stopped the rain, and it was quiet, so I could rest, a little bit.”
“And...” I took a deep breath in. This was the big question. “What... happened, exactly? Was it... my fault?”
“No,” he said. “No it was not. My brother, he – he is very sad, and angry. He went to doctors, but he did not like them. Therefore, to make him feel better, he started to take some drugs. It was only alcohol, and smoking, for some time, but he met friends that gave him more things. He...” he played with his fingertips, “I do not think that he can live without those things, now.”
“That’s... so sad, I’m sorry.”
“It is okay. However, my meaning is that he is out, with these friends, many nights. I did not know that he was back in my house, I sleep usually before he comes. But he was very angry, because he gave money to a person, to give him the drugs, but they did not tell the truth. Therefore he did not have any drugs, so he came home.”
“I see. And he... beat you up? Punched you? Because he was angry?”
“Yes, and also... he is very scared, of other people. He thinks they do bad things always. He is usually not kind, but I think he just wanted... a target, you know? And he does not hurt my mother – has has never done that thing – but he does not like me.”
“Leon, don’t blame yourself for what he does. I’m sure he doesn’t dislike you-“
“No, he does,” he said, adamant. “He hated Ab, too – my father. He fought with him a lot, even when Ab was ill. I am ok with the fact that he hurts me, but I will never like him, too. Because he gave Ab pain, when he knew he would never give it to him.”
“Why... did he have such a problem with you and your dad?”
“Because he hates being an Arab. He tries to forget he is, but we make him remember. He thinks that they – we – are bad people, we are ugly and lie and need to have pain.”
“But... if he’s one, too, how can he hate them? How can he have such a negative opinion of your people if he’s included?”
“Because his friends, they think the same things. They say the bad things about Arabs, and therefore he says them also.” I ran my fingertips gently over his scalp, trying to get rid of the rest of the soap, and I could feel him shiver. “He does not believe that he is one of us, because his skin is too light. He says that he is only Mamãe’s child, not Ab’s, and therefore we are not truly related.” He sighed. “I tried to say to him that Mamãe’s skin is the most dark of all, but he listens not. I do not think that he listens to any people, now, except himself. Therefore he calls me and my father sujo – dirty, in Portuguese – and other things, whatever things he can think to say.”

I leant forward, my nose touching the top of his head. I wondered if it hurt, or was too close for comfort, but he didn’t complain, so I stayed there, and whispered, “I’m so sorry you have to deal with that. You’re not dirty, you’re not ugly, and you’re definitely not a bad person. There is nothing wrong with having dark skin – I like it, it goes like goldy bronze in the light and matches your hair – and I like your hair too, for that matter. I wish mine would naturally do something as cool as what yours does.”
“You...” he paused. “You tell the truth?”
“Yeah, of course I do, Leon. I think you’re, um... good-looking. I hope that isn’t weird for me to say.”
“With bent teeth and nose and black eyes?”
“Well I mean, I’m not happy to see you like this, but yes, still with all that.” I am oversharing massively now, aren’t I?
“No,” he said, as if you answer my question. “I mean to say no, it is not weird. Thank you, Callum. Thank you very much.”
“And thank you too,” I replied. “Just for being here.”