Leon, Leon (BoyxNB romance)

Chapter 8

“I like it here. It is very pretty.”
“I know, right? It’s sort of like we’re at the top of a mountain. You can see even see the hills and houses over the main road.”

I had perched myself on the thin slice of patio, my back against the brick wall, while he was spread out, picking apart pieces of grass as he looked around the place.
“What was your view like where you lived in Belgium?”
“It was... not bad. We lived in a town, some parts were pretty, some parts were ugly. Like all towns. However, at one time during the holidays, every year, we went to a... hm, I do not know how to describe it... it was like a really big garden. There were insects and trees and flowers and grass. It was all false – like a big greenhouse, you know? But I thought that it was beautiful.”
“That’s amazing. There’s a place like that in the South of England. Like a big dome of glass, right?” He nodded. “Yeah, stuff like that is the coolest.”
“I agree.”

There was silence, for a second. “Hey, can I say something?”
“Of course.”
“I’m sorry.” He looked at me, for a little while.
“For what?”
“I... annoyed you, in English class a couple of days ago, right? When you were writing down the words and stuff. I wanted to help, but I get it if it was too much, or something.”
“No, no, Callum. Not at all,” he smiled, but it faded pretty quickly. “I am simply... stressed, right now. I am submergé, too. I try to get better, but it is very difficult.”
“But you shouldn’t worry about that. You’re super smart! You can speak everything really well, the guys like you, most people think you’re hot so you could easily get a girlfriend if you wanted. You’ve got everything.”
“Thank you, Callum. You are... very kind. But I think... I pretend to know more than is real. But I... I am happy because I have some friends, it is true.”
“Well, you know it isn’t too late to join the guys in PE if you want. I guess you’d probably prefer to hang out with them, right?”
“I... I do not know. I think they are good people, yes, but... it is hard. They talk fastly and they use a lot of words I do not know. And I cannot ask them because they talk about something different when I try! I prefer... to stay with you, still. If that is a good thing?”
I felt my face go pink. “Yeah, yeah of course, I wasn’t trying to make you leave, I just...”
“You are still sad? It is difficult when we are sad. We think of all things as not good, and our self, too, you understand?”
“Yeah, I do. It can be hard to be positive, sometimes.”
“But I think the time that it is the hardest is the most important time to be. Or you will be always sad, right?”
“Yeah... you’re right.”
I stared forward, but I could see him looking at me out of the corner of my eye, and I felt my face flush again. Is there something on my cheek? I wasn’t used to having so much attention on me.

“Why you cried?”
“What?” I turned to him.
“You... cried, in the bathroom. You are sad. Why? What was the bad thing?”
“Oh, um, it doesn’t matter anymore. It was stupid, I overreact a lot, you know, and...”
“Oh. But if you are sad, it is important. I am sad when a friend is sad. If you do not want to say the thing, I understand, however if you want, I want, too.”
“Alright, well... as long as you promise not to laugh.”
“Bien sur. I promise.”
“Ok, well, um... We were in history last lesson, and we were doing an essay on World War two, all the communism and stuff in Russia. And I had half a page left and no more to write, and there was a picture of Stalin on the front of my textbook, so I thought, yeah, I’ll draw that, since I had some time left. And I gave it in to the teacher and he just... he just showed it to all the class and like... took the piss out of it, made fun of it in front of everyone, making sure they knew it was mine, too, and I just thought...” I could feel my eyes welling up again, and looked down in embarrassment. “Like, it wasn’t like it was anything important, I hadn’t done anything wrong, it was just a draft, you know ? Like a practice. And if he thought it was stupid he could’ve just put a line through it, or ignored it, you know? But it was just so... it made me feel so stupid and worthless and that everything I do just turns to shit, and...”