Leon, Leon (BoyxNB romance)

Chapter 13

"This is my bedroom. I know that it is dirty, I am sorry.”

The room was small, but cosy, with plain, light blue walls and a hard wood floor. I leant against the desk next to me – on which was a computer, a pencil pot filled with biros and felt tips, and a couple of workbooks from school. There was also a TV on the table in the corner, with a bean bag and a games console tucked underneath.

“No, I think it’s really nice,” I said. “If the rest of the house is like this, I'm moving in, just saying."
I chuckled, meaning it as a joke, but he looked down at the floor, playing with his fingers.

"Anyway," I said, trying to break the silence, "You've got a nice view, too. It must be cool to be able to look at everything without even getting out of bed.”
He smiled. “Yes, I like the light. It wakes me, without it I am very bad at to rise from the bed.”
“Same though, like, ‘Yeah, I could leave here and change, or I could just stay in this pod of warmth and comfort forever?’ Like, how do you expect me to actually do anything then.”
Chuckling, he walked over to the desk and pulled out the chair. “You will sit?”
“Oh, sure. Is there another chair or something you can get for yourself?” He shook his head, walking over to the corner.
“I will use this thing,” he said, dragging what was essentially a giant cushion across the room. “With honesty, it is more comfortable than the chair.”
“Aw, you didn’t have to say that,” I said, sitting down. “You’ve made me jealous, now.”
I smiled, but he looked concerned. “Oh, you can have it, if you want. I thought that-“
“I’m just joking, I’m fine here,” he smiled, his face growing more relaxed. “Next time though, it’s mine.”

He sat next to me on the bean bag, grabbing a pencil out of the pot. “So, what would you like to study? Do you want to do more of that English thing?”
“No, ah,” he looked down, fiddling with the rubber at the end of the pencil. “I mean, if you want, of course, but I thought... another thing, maybe.”
“Uh, ok...” I said, unsure. “What?”
“Well, um...” he picked at the skin around his fingers. “We traded, yes ? I am teaching French, you are teaching English.”
“Yeah, that was basically the deal. What about it?”
“It is that you have helped me much, and I feel... not good. I do not help you, but you help me. That is not a good trade.”
“Oh, but that time we were together, on the hill, you helped me then. What words did I learn...” thinkthinkthinkthink impressimpressimpressimpress for the love of God. “Boîte de la... nuit ? And another one, um... Une pièce de identité !” He smiled, a little. “See ? You helped. I never would have remembered those on my own. But you were right, I think of the time we were together, and I think of the story in my head, and the words come to me.”
“I am happy I helped, but it is only two words, right? Or two, I don’t know... phrases. I need to give to you more.”
“Ok, just... don’t feel bad, okay? You’re doing loads to help me, already.” He nodded.
“Do you have a book, or some of the work from the class?” He asked. “I can help with it.”
“Yeah, I had French today, actually,” I bent down, rummaging through my bag. “We keep a lot of the stuff in class, but I have my book, and a couple of vocabulary booklets. Here, got them.”

I slid them over to the other end of the desk, and as he flicked through the pages, the side of his jaw resting on his hand, carefully scanning each piece of work I had done since the beginning of Year 10, I suddenly understood the anxiety he had felt when I had been marking the beginning of his essay. “This is your work? All of it?”
“Uh, yeah,” I said, smiling nervously.
“Without the help?”
“Uh, I think I messed up loads at the beginning, so I think she helped me a lot then. Usually though, it’s just me and a dictionary, and she just gives us stuff to do, and checks them at the end. Apart from the ones in a different colour pen, those are thing she’s taught us."
“I understand,” He said, quietly, tapping on the desk with his fingernails. “I think that it is very good.”
“Uh, really?” I laughed. “You don’t have to lie.”
“There is not a lie. You studied the subject only for a short time, yes?”
“I mean, not really. Since year 7, so this is the fifth year doing it.”
I expected his face to fall, but he just ran a hand through his hair, and looked back down at the book. “Two times a week?”
“Uh, it’s pretty much twice now, yeah. It was once before Year 10, though.”
“And you study in your house also?”
This feels like an interview. “A little bit, if I can. Usually like... one hour a week, I think.” That’s awfully generous, Cal.
“Therefore I think you are very good,” he smiled. “Not a lie.”
“How can you say that, while being able to talk so perfectly in English? If you can speak like a sixteen year old, my ability is at, like, a three year old. Four on a good day.”
He chuckled. “But you study two hours in the lessons, and one in your house. So three in a week? But I speak English for six hours in a day, now I  live in Wales, and I study for one or two every night. That is close to fifty hours.” He looked up at me. “I am not more smart than you, Callum. I am not special. I just work more, because I need to. But you do not need to. You need to learn enough for the exams, yes? And if you want to continue, then you learn more. You understand?”
“Yeah, I do. Thanks, though, Leon. It’s just really hard when you see people doing so much better than you, you know? Sometimes I always feel like I can never do well enough to meet expectations.”
“Then I am helping, so you stop to feel like that, right?” He smiled widely, his teeth showing, wrinkles appearing around his eyes. “We will do it. Together.”
“Yeah, we will,” I said. And one more thing? I wanted to say.

You are special, Leon. You really are. And you make me feel special, too. Like I’m worth something.

Thank you. And please, don’t leave. You make me smile and laugh more than anyone else ever has.

I felt the need to roll my eyes at myself. It’s been two weeks, Cal. Pull yourself together. Who knows how I’m going to feel towards you by the time the year is over, Leon.