Relatively Dependent

Relatively Dependent - Part Twenty Seven

Dealing with a grown man crying on my couch at eight thirty in the morning is not something I'm equipped to deal with at the best of times. I've never been good at consoling people and it's times like that when I wish I didn't have a heart made of stone because I honestly didn't know what to do. Yeah, I've given Charlie a lot of shit over the years, but deep down I do care about him. To see him turn into a blubbering mess like that, it hit me pretty hard.

I wish I'd gone to him, said something, done something. Could have at least given him a pat on the shoulder for fucks sake, but I didn't. An eternity seemed to pass while I stood there waiting for Charlie to pull himself together. I didn't move from the doorway, I just stood there clicking the nail of my thumb and index finger together while he cried it out. 

"Joel," he ran his hands down his face, wiping away the snot and tears. "Something terrible has happened."

Something has happened. Hearing those words, I lowered my gaze to the floor. I tried to withdraw so far back into my mind that I wouldn't be able to hear another word outta' Charlie. I didn't wanna' know what was happening, if it was bad enough to bring him to tears then whatever it was had to be really bad. Never in my whole life had I seen Charlie shed a tear over anything, he just wasn't that sort of a guy. I'd seen him sad, disappointed and angry plenty of times, but with his cheeks turning red and his eyes glazed with tears he looked distraught and I'd never seen that before.

"Blake's been in an accident," Charlie said.

I lost my breath as the word accident came hurling at me like I'd taken a brick to my stomach. My mind jumped straight to the worst-case scenario and I prayed that Charlie wasn't about to realise my worst fear.

"I guess, he went out last night, after work," Charlie whimpered, "and he got into a car accident."

He started sobbing into his hands again and for once in my life, I had nothing to say. I felt numb, like none of it was really happening, like maybe I had never left Will's and I was still high and imagining everything.

"I got a call from the Hospital early this morning," he lowered his hand and turned to me, "but by the time I got there," his chin wrinkled and he started sobbing again. "I'm sorry Joel," he whimpered, "I'm so sorry."

I turned away from him in disbelief, "You're wrong," I said.

I knew Blake was alright and that nothing had happened to him because he'd already been through Hell. He'd survived beatings and starvation, he'd lived through a childhood full of abuse, I'd started to think he was immortal.

I was sure he was okay and that it was all just a misunderstanding. It was still early, I thought Blake would've still been in bed or something. My legs were a bit shaky as I headed for his room, the fear Charlie was right had begun to sweep over me. I stopped in the doorway and a painful lump formed in my throat. His bed was empty. He wasn't anywhere to be seen.

I ran a hand over my chest feeling the sting of a hot needle puncture my heart. Charlie's words started ringing through my ears and I was quick to try and think of another reason why Blake wouldn't be home.

His bed was empty, yeah, but that didn't mean anything. Sometimes he'd stay out all night, at a girl's house or a mate's place, it didn't mean anything had happened to him.

"Joel," Charlie gripped my shoulder, "I'm sorry."

"No," I snapped and shrugged his hand off. "It doesn't mean anything! He could be anywhere, maybe he's with a girl, or at his friend's place. Did you check? Did you talk—"

"I've been to the Hospital, Joel, I've seen," he breathed out a sigh, "I'm sorry."

"No," I shook my head, "I don't believe you."

Why Charlie would lie to me about something like my brother being in an accident, I've got no idea, I just didn't want to believe it.

"I wish it wasn't true Joel, I can hardly believe it either, he was such a good kid—"

"No!" I snapped and shoved Charlie in the chest. "Stop! Why are you saying this, why are you doing this?"

"Joel, please," Charlie sobbed.

I pushed past Charlie and headed for the front door.

"Joel, wait!" Charlie pleaded as he grabbed hold of my arm.

"Don't touch me!" I screamed as I spun around and flung his hand off me.

"Where are you going?" Charlie called out as I leapt for the door.

I didn't have a clue where I was going or what I was doing, but I wasn't going to stand there and listen to another word from that man. There had to be another explanation, it had to be a mistake, Charlie had to be wrong, he just had to be.