Book I: to cross oceans for [BxB] (trans) - completed

Green-eyed Monster - Danny

I couldn't stop thinking about kissing Shawnie. All the time. It was starting to get in the way of everyday activities it was so distracting.

It was honestly starting to worry and scare me a little bit.

I'd see him walk down the halls and flash back to the moment our mouths had met. The feel of his plump, soft lips against mine. Then I'd have to physically stop myself from pressing him back against the lockers and kiss him stupid, right there, in front of everyone.

Or we'd be sitting at his kitchen table, having breakfast and I'd get the almost uncontrollable urge to push his unruly hair out of his eyes and lose my fingers in between the strands.

Did he even like having his hair pulled? Just the thought of doing that made my blood boil and gave me an almost instant erection.

Oh yeah, that was the downside. I walked around with a constant boner since Sunday night. It added another special layer of awkwardness to our little private hell called high school. It also made walking, or just sitting in class, without having to constantly adjust myself almost impossible.

Fuck, I was pathetic. And maybe starting to scare myself a little bit. This constant wanting and craving him was different and dangerous.

Sure, I've always loved having Shawnie around and keeping him close. Hell, I used to downright impose myself on him when we were kids.

But this? This was a very,  very different way of wanting him.

The day I'd kissed Shawnie, I suggested it on an impulse. I was pissed after losing Turner's crazy competition and wallowing in my own misery after seeing Shawnie talking to him in the middle of the field. Turner had been shirtless and they'd been standing so close.

I was sure pretty boy had been spitting his seduction spiel and trying to convince Shawnie to go out with him.

It had pissed me off.

So, like a wounded dog, I hid from the rest of the world, including Shawnie, to lick my wounds and drink.

Until Shawnie had, as always, forced his way into my bubble and demanded I pay attention to something other than myself.

I could barely remember anything that led up to the first kiss. I'd been drinking and then Aaron had called, tearing me a new one for pushing myself after practice, saying I could've seriously injured myself.

And where would the team be then, Danny? He'd asked.

He was a good captain, even if he was a pain in my ass.

And then there'd been this crazy movie about a guy that turned into a tree - I still hadn't understood it.

We'd talked. And then I offered to help Shawnie practice. I was at least honest enough to admit that it hadn't been a selfless offer.

After my suggestion that he find some random guy to practice with, I'd tried to picture him with someone else. Someone else touching him and hugging him the way I did.

The thought made my stomach tie itself in knots and something that I could only describe as anger, surge inside of me.

So, I made an impulsive decision. It had made perfect sense at the time. My fucked up brain jumping at the opportunity to be the one Shawnie practiced with.

If he could do that with me, he wouldn't have to look for anyone else. I would be all he needed.

It was a selfish and stupid thought. But once it took root in my brain, I couldn't not voice it.