Fame Crazy (Sequel to Strings Attached)

Chapter 185

Castiel shrugs. "Not bad." He kneels next to his brother, looking at the guinea pig, who's in a cage on the desk. "He's so cute."

"Well, obviously," Lucifer says. "He's a guinea pig. He has to be cute. It's, like, the law of guinea pigging."

Castiel chuckles. "Oh, right, of course. I should've known." He sticks a finger through the bars of the cage, and Mark slowly walks over to it, sniffing it. Without warning, he tries to bite it, but Castiel quickly pulls away. "I take it back. He is a vicious monster!"

Lucifer laughs. "He does that whenever you stick anything in there. Wood, carrots, human flesh. It's all the same to him."

Castiel chuckles. He backs away from the cage, then gestures to Lucifer's bed. "Can I sit?"

"I would hope so," he says. "You don't look like you have any broken bones, and your hip joints appear to be working fine. I don't see why you wouldn't be able to sit down."

Castiel chuckles. "I'm gonna take that as a yes." He takes a seat on the side of the bed, and Lucifer turns his spinning chair around to face him. "So, you and Claire, huh?"

Lucifer just nods. Sensing he's supposed to say something more, he adds, "For a few months now, yeah."

"I have to admit, it's not quite what I was expecting to come home to," he says.

"I know," Lucifer says. "It's been, what, eight years since I've had a girlfriend?"

"That long?" Castiel says in surprise.

He nods. "Not since high school, and honestly, high school relationships shouldn't really count as relationships." He pauses, then adds, "Except for Destiel and Sabriel. Soulmates are a whole different boat."

"No, soulmates are ships," Castiel jokes.

Lucifer bursts out laughing at that, probably laughing harder than he should be for such a bad joke. "That's something I would say! I may not have seen you in six months, but you're still secretly me, whether you want to admit it or not."

Castiel chuckles. "Oh god, I hope not."

"Hey, you wish you were as cool as me!"

He scoffs. "Funny joke."

"All my jokes are funny, so yes, yes it was," Lucifer replies with exaggerated confidence.

Castiel chuckles. Not sure how to respond to that, he changes the subject. "So, you ready to be a dad?"

Lucifer's smile falters, but he quickly recovers and says enthusiastically, "Yes! I get to make a little mini me! How cool is that?"

Castiel cocks his head in confusion. "You don't really seem that excited about it."

"What? 'Course I am!" Lucifer insists. "I get to teach a human how to human!"

Castiel just raises an eyebrow skeptically.

"What's that look for? I'm excited. See?" He bounces up and down in his chair. "Excitement."

Castiel waits patiently for him to admit that he's lying.

Lucifer sighs. "I don't want to talk about it, okay? I just — I wanna make videos and make people laugh so they forget all their life problems, and just not think about that."

"And you're just gonna ignore your own life problems," Castiel finishes. "Great plan."

Lucifer rolls his eyes, something he rarely does in anything other than lighthearted conversation — although he rarely has any other type of conversation, anyway. "Don't you have your own problems to worry about? Any problems. Any at all."