Chapter 52

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A/N Yes, hi, I'd like to buy a plot. Great, thanks. *sighs* I don't know what I'm doing.

It's probably an hour or so later when the bedroom door opens. Castiel quickly shuts his eyes, hoping whoever it is will think he's asleep, but he must not be quick enough, because he hears the footsteps approaching the bed.

Maybe it's just Gabriel. He doesn't honestly believe it, but it's possible. They do share a room, after all. Maybe it's later than he thinks and Gabriel's just going to bed.

What little hope he had is dashed when he feels the bed dip under someone's weight. He ignores it, hoping they'll take the hint.

"Hey, kiddo," Lucifer says softly.
Castiel ignores him.

"I know you're awake," he adds. "You may be fast, but I'm Satan."

Castiel mumbles in protest to his company as a whole.

"We've got brownies in the kitchen," Lucifer continues. "You wanna go get a brownie with me? They're still warm and soft."

"Just leave me alone," Castiel mutters.

"But —"

"I said 'leave me alone,'" he snaps.

Lucifer sighs, and Castiel can feel his bed raise from where his brother was sitting. "Alright. G'night, Castiel. See you in the morning."

Castiel listens to his footsteps until they're far enough away that he can no longer hear them. He rolls onto his back again, staring up at the bottom of Gabriel's bunk. There's nothing interesting about it; nothing really catches his attention. That's sort of how his life is going right now. It's just kind of there, but there's nothing really intriguing about it.

Part of him knows he should be glad to still have a life at all. Part of him just wishes he had the strength to end it for good.

~~

The hinges on the door creak again later that night, alerting him that someone else is here. He doesn't have to rush to a sleeping position; he's been lying down with his eyes shut for what has to be at least an hour. Sleep just don't come. It's a shame; it's always been his escape.

"Castiel?" Gabriel whispers.

He doesn't answer.

After a pause, the older boy shuts the door as softly as he can and climbs up into the top bunk. It's not too long after that he hears the snoring from above, and though it's quiet, it carries in the silence of the room, and Castiel crushes his head between his pillow and his mattress to block out the sound. As expected, it doesn't do much, but he doesn't bother changing positions. This is good enough. It's not like sleep is coming very soon anyway.

~~

Castiel is still face planted in his bed when he heard his cellphone ring. He's about to ignore it, but changes his mind because what if it's Dean? He could apologize and they could make up, right?

He glances at the caller ID. Jim Michaels. Nope. Not answering. He waits for it to stop ringing.

And then it starts again.

After the fourth time Jim calls, Castiel figures he should probably do something. He reaches for the phone and...

Turns it off. There's no way in hell he's talking to Jim right now. He's in a bad enough mood already. He doesn't need Jim to drag him down farther.

It's about a minute later that Lucifer calls from the other side of the house, "Castiel! Jim's calling!"

Castiel groans to himself. Can't a guy just mope in peace? He doesn't answer, hoping Lucifer will assume he's asleep and leave it at that. Judging by the fact that Lucifer only calls that out one more time, he assumes it works.

It's a minute or so later that he hears Lucifer arguing with someone, and he listens as well as he can from his bedroom.

"Because I said so! — Yes, I know you want talk to — I don't care! You may be his boss, but I'm his brother, andI don't give a flying fuck what you want! — Yeah, and he's in a bad enough mood already. You don't have to make him feel worse. — Well, no shit, Sherlock! I've been on Twitter. We've all been on Twitter. Hell, Castiel's probably been on Twitter himself. I doubt this would be news to him, and even if it is — And I said I don't fucking care! You don't know Castiel like I do! The kid's mentally unstable. His carefree attitude is bullshit, and you can't tell me you don't see that, too. — I told you — No, you shut up and listen! You've got a business to run. I get it. But Castiel isn't a product; he's a human fucking being. You promised me, back before Castiel went on tour that first time, you promised me you wouldn't be too hard on him. He's just a kid, Jim! He's twenty years old, and you're treating him likes fucking fifty or something! I — Yeah, I know that's what he signed up for. Hard work, lots of traveling, yada yada yada. But come on! He asked for a month. One fucking month where he can just be a normal person with normal problems. From what I heard, you agreed. You can't just renegade on that deal because he — Castiel's always doing things you don't like! And you chew him out for it every single time! You can't — Yeah, and I get it, but come on! Do you think he planned on breaking up with his boyfriend? You think this looks bad from an outsider's perspective? Try looking at it from the inside. I haven't seen him leave his room since it happened. That's not — No, it's not! You know what happened last ti — Hey! I'm still talking so shut the fuck up! — I don't care! I'm — No, I'm not his father, but right now, I'm the closest thing he's got, so shut up and listen to me, dammit! I know you think this is the right thing to do. Maybe it is for you. But you're not the one who just got dumped! How about, instead of pandering to your every whim, we think about Castiel? Last time things got to be too much for him, he tried to kill himself. I'm not letting it get that bad again. I'd kill his entire career if it meant I didn't have to worry about losing him, and if you can't honestly say the same thing — I know it's not that bad; I'm proving a point. You don't know how it felt, knowing he was in the hospital all those years ago because he'd rather be dead than with us. I'm not letting that happen again. I will cancel his tour, regardless of what you say, if I don't think he can handle it, and right now, he's not handling anything. I don't need you to add to that. Just — Yes, and I get it. But trust me, he already knows it sucked. He might not know the full story, but he was there when it — Fine. Compromise. Give him a week. Wait until you've cooled down and he's pulled himself together, and when you finally do talk to him, go easy on the kid. Breakups aren't easy. It's probably going to take more than a week until he's feeling okay again, and I don't need you breaking my brother, okay? Good. Now, don't call again for a week, at least, or I will personally kick your ass."

Castiel just stares at his pillow, mulling over the conversation in his head. Does he even want to know what they were talking about? Probably not. Not enough to go ask, at least. He'd rather just sulk in peace.

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