Loved or Unloved?

Loved or Unloved?: Chapter 14 - Mistakes, mistakes

CHAPTER FOURTEEN: Mistakes, mistakes

I stared at the girl in the mirror. She had eye bags, tired features and swollen eyes, an obvious sign that she spent the night crying herself to sleep. Oh well, who cares? I quickly brushed my teeth, threw on the first pair of clothing my hands came in contact with and roughly untangled my bed hair with a comb before grabbing a bagel from the table in the kitchen and heading out to school.

I wasn’t particularly looking forward to going to school because I know I’ll be alone seeing as I wasn’t on speaking terms with Jade, Zac or Nick. I let out a long sigh, it was going to be a long day. Maybe I could make some new friends who wouldn’t keep such big secrets concerning me from me. Wait, I forgot. I instantly became every guy’s enemy when I got into a fight with Anna and every girl’s enemy when I hung out with the top two most wanted guys. So much for making new friends, I thought.

I killed my engine once my car was parked in the familiar yet astoundingly beautiful school and I dragged myself out of the car, and walked sluggishly to the school building. I was dreading every single minute. The intense stares of the fellow students were burning a hole through my head. Their piercing stares made me feel as though they could see right through my façade, as though they knew deep down I was suffering in turmoil. As though they knew my life turned upside down in the matter of a day, that they knew the love of my life turned out to the murderer of my own father. As though they knew that my closest friends didn’t even bother telling me. I lowered my head and picked up my pace, quickly walking into the school building before someone could hurl an insult my way, because if someone did, I would snap. Just like that.

I spun my combination and opened my locker. Two pieces of paper fell out. I grabbed my books for class before slamming my locker shut and grabbing the paper, readying myself for whatever insults that were written on the paper. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before I started reading the first one.

In neat, slanted writing, the first one said:

Dear Sophie,

I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry. Words can’t express how sorry I am from keeping it from you. I know it hurt you very much but I thought I was doing what’s best for you. I don’t really have my fair share of experience when it comes to friends because I’ve always been a loner but now I’ve got you, or had you. Anyway, I want you to know how much you mean to me. Ever since I was in this school, no one tried to talk to me, they were all unfriendly and snobbish because I was on scholarship. I was dreading every moment in school where I would get picked on and friendless. I could only imagine how it felt to have a friend, a real friend. One I could hang out with.

And I can assure you, it feels great. I would have graduated high school without a friend, without experiencing friendship. But then you came, and you went out of your way to be my friend. At first I was doubtful, but then as time went on, I saw you were sincere and you were just the friend I needed. We did things I never did with friends, we went shopping, watched movies, laughed, gossiped and a whole lot more. And that means so much to me. I want to thank you for that, for letting me experience what I could never have experienced if it wasn’t for you.

Thank you so much for trusting me and telling me all about your past. It may be dark, but Sophie you are a wonderful person and if you try, your future will be bright. Forget the past, live the present and wait for the future Sophie, because your past makes you a better person. You are already great, by the way. Ha-ha.

Once again, I’m truly sorry for not telling you and if you no longer want to be friends with me anymore, I will accept that decision. Although it hurts like a thousand, maybe millions of knifes cutting into my shattered heart, ( k sorry Soph, a tad bit little dramatic here? ) I’ll honor your decision and stay away from you. I’ll understand if you won’t forgive me because I didn’t have the rights to keep it from you, especially something so big. But I really, really do hope you’ll forgive me. Maybe a few years down the road, or maybe decades, I just hope you will. I’m sorry. I’m truly, truly sorry.