Andrew's Tears

Chapter 5

She drank until there was no more water in the cup then went back to her prayers.

                                                            #

Andrew lay on the couch in the living room. He could hear Grandma Helen whispering prayers. They were so deliberate. They seemed to flow from her lips so easily. How could someone believe so strongly in something that didn’t exist? Unless God does exist. If he does, I want nothing to do with him.

What if mom is right, though? What if he this God is real and actually cares about me? No. It can’t be. If he cared about me then none of this would have happened. Andrew’s thoughts were racing and he was powerless to stop them. Every thought brought him to wanting to know more.

All Andrew wanted to do was just go to sleep. But the more he willed his mind to Shut up, it became louder and louder until the only thing he could do to actually shut it up was sit up from the couch and walk into the kitchen.

He pulled out a barstool and sat in the chair and waited until his grandma looked at him. He waited patiently, even though sitting up caused his stomach to lurch back and forth, making him queasy. He must have waited ten minutes before Grandma Helen looked up and jumped in fright.

“I thought you had gone to bed,” Grandma Helen said after realizing it was Andrew sitting at the table with her.

“Nope, I didn’t feel good enough to get up.” He quickly said, “What can you tell me about God?”

Andrew must have caught her off guard, for she simply stared for a few moments before saying anything. “Uh, well, what do you want to know?” She said this once she had gotten her bearings on the situation.

“Everything; mostly about him in general.” Andrew sat back in the chair and wrapped the cozy blanket around his shoulders. It was chilly in the house.

“There is a lot to say about Him. Do you have any specific things that you want to know? Because, that would narrow it down a ton.” Grandma Helen unclasped her fingers and sat them flat upon the granite countertop.

“Why did he do this to me?” He gestured at his face. “My mom said it has to do with God wanting to teach me a lesson. But, I don’t see how someone who is ‘loving’ would do such a thing.”

“Well, in part God is trying to teach you a lesson. He may also be trying to get your attention. And the only way that he was able to get your attention was by doing that,” Grandma Helen said softly.

“But, he is God. Why would he inflict pain on me if he loves me so much?” Andrew said bitterly. “My mom loves me and she doesn’t burn my face off when she wants my attention. She calls me.”

“God is calling to you. In here,” she pointed at Andrew’s chest. “You just aren’t willing to hear it. And the only way for him to get your attention was to do that. I mean, if it were not for Thomas, would you be sitting here, talking to me about God?”

“No, I guess not.” Andrew said.

“Then, did God get your attention?” Grandma Helen said, a soft smile forming on her face.

“I guess… I guess he did,” Andrew said coming to a silent realization. He was still irked that God would do such a thing to him. But, he did see now that God had gotten his attention.

“It may be hard to see, but God does love you. Think of Thomas as a way that God got you to think of him.” Grandma Helen said, “Do you want to know anything more about God? I won’t over implode your mind tonight if you don’t want me to.”