You Better Know (Red Velvet Irene/Reader/Twice Sana)

Chapter Twenty-Three (Final Chapter):

Sana still wasn’t sure what had really happened. Two months later and everything just seemed like a big blur. It seemed like her days were made up of the anger and regret. She was angry with herself, at Caleb and sometimes with everyone and anything that crossed her path. Sana really was trying to cope but of course that was easier said than done. It was all even harder when there was a cloud of regret reigning over her. Why didn’t she kiss him longer? Why didn’t she hold him longer? Why had she been so damn stubborn? If she hadn’t been then maybe they could’ve had a little more time together. Even if that extra time only meant one more kiss or one more hug. She’d do anything to feel Caleb’s arms wrapped around her waist.

But Sana was quickly learning that none of that would bring her back. It seemed like the one true love she had ever had was gone and nothing she could ever do would bring him back. All she had right now was moving on; although the thought of moving on sounded more than irrational.

She was just arriving at the cemetery. It had been her midday routine for the past weeks. This time she found herself with the surprise of finding Irene sitting down on the grass. This was the first time she had encountered her since the funeral. Sana still had the letter that Caleb wrote for Irene. She knew she should have delivered the letter to Irene weeks ago. But she kept stalling the delivery because she knew that the letter should be accompanied with an apology from her but she didn’t know how to do that or what she should even say.

“Hey” Sana spoke standing next to Irene.

“Hi” Irene replied quietly, softly wiping the tears away from her eyes. Sana felt her stomach turn into knots at seeing Irene. She seemed destroyed. Love really was a losing game. Even though they had both bet everything they had it seemed as if Irene had been the one to lose even more. “I’ll go so you have your privacy” she said now standing.

“No—no its” Sana reached her arm toward Irene. “Could you stay?”

Irene simply nodded, “Sure”

“Does it feel real to you?” Sana asked a few moments later.

“Not in the slightest” Irene sighed. “I keep coming back everyday. I think part of me is hoping that when I come back his name won’t be on that stone and it will all just turn out to be a dream”

“I’ve been doing the same thing but I’m afraid its been too long to be a dream. It feels more like a nightmare”

“I know. I’m waiting for something that’s long gone. It just kills me that I didn’t even get to say goodbye” Irene sat back down on the ground looking at the stone.

Sana joined her. She was processing what Irene had just said. It made the knots in her stomach interlock even further because Irene didn’t get any last moments with Caleb. Irene was stuck with her on the same train. The same train she was on and the worst part was not knowing how long they would be stuck on it. “I’m sorry, Irene”

“For what?” Irene looked to Sana.

“I don’t even know where to start or where I should start. I mean for everything I’ve done. I really should have apologized to you a long time ago. Even more so for when I attacked you in the hallway. For knowing that Caleb had a girlfriend after he kissed me and continuing to pursue him. It has taken me long to admit this but Caleb and I were both at wrongs and we hurt you. I don’t know how to apologize but know that I am really truly sorry, Irene”

“Thank you” Irene replied quietly. She wasn’t mad anymore, she didn’t know what she was but it didn’t seem to matter anymore and at least Sana’s apology sounded genuinely sincere. “He loved you Sana and there was nothing that I could do about that. I held on to him as long as I could because I loved—love him. I guess I still am, I keep coming back here and I don’t even know why anymore. You know when we got together I really thought that he was the one. As crazy as it might sound I thought we would one day get married”