My Gay Teacher [COMPLETED]

31-"Jax, no!"

Colton-

I had hopped in my car.

Today was the day I was going to confess my love for Jax. My love had never left. If anything, it just amplified.

Jax was my center. My soul. His happiness was mine.

So, seeing him so unhappy has made me sad, too.

That was why I knew I had to get over to him. I could help him be happy again. I wanted to be happy with him again.

My phone buzzed, and at the next red light I checked it. It was from Jax.

Jax- Hey guys. I just wanted you both to know that I love you no matter what. Even if you stopped, Colton, I didn't. And Ash, you have grown so much. I love you both.

I started to get concerned. Why was he sending me and Ash this? what did this mean? Was Jax okay?

Not knowing if anything was wrong, I decided against calling 911. But, I drove slightly above the speed limit to reach Jax.

As soon as I reached his house, I banged on the door. No answer. The absence of an answer only made me more worried as I went to grab the spare key under the cliché hiding spot under a pot.

I slammed open the door, worry increasing every second. "Jax!" I scream, needing to know he was okay.

I heard no noise in the house. The kitchen was destroyed.

I didn't think Jax would be gone, so I went to the first place I could think of. His room.

I barged into his room to see the teenager shaking on his bed with a gun in his hand. "What? Jax, no! Jax, don't." I begged. Was he going to kill himself? I didn't even question how he got the gun, just why.

He shook his head before responding to my concern. "I'm sorry, Colton. You don't deserve this piece of shit in your life." He seemed steady. Almost... calm.

I saw a few tears dripping from his green eyes, and I couldn't help but cry myself. His answer only reassured to me that this was what I thought. He was going to kill himself.

I was frozen by fear. Was he really going to do this? I knew I should have called 911 by now, but my thoughts were clouded. "But Jax.. no!" I cried to him.

He shook his head, finally gaining control of his previously shaking body. "Colton, just know... this isn't your fault." He says.

"Jax..." I start as I finally gain the thought to walk towards the boy about to commit suicide.

He almost laughed. "I'm sorry, Colton. Goodbye." He said to me.

I wasn't going to let him do this.

I charged at him, tears filling and falling from my eyes.

Everything was slow.

Jax moved his arm away in time, along with the gun. I couldn't save him anymore.

I loved Jax. I loved him with all my heart.

The gun was pinned against his head. He was going to shoot himself.

I knew that I should call 911. Someone. Anyone.

His pale finger made movement against the trigger.

I tried to stop it. I really did. And now this 18 year old would die because of me.

The bullet flew in one side of his head, but not out the next. I fell to my knees. Blood dropped from his head, covering the floor and his curly chestnut hair.

His eyes had glossed over. He was dead.

I knew that he was beyond help at that point.

The rest of what happened was a blur.

I vaguely remembered finally calling 911. I vaguely remember the roar of the sirens. The men rushing into Jax's room, and pronouncing him dead. I vaguely remember them putting him in the truck, along with me. I vaguely remember calling Ash, and getting to the hospital.

Ash and I had sat in the waiting room. Jax was dead. It was my fault.

My tears had dried up, and I was just shaking and making noise at that point. Ash's tears were still falling.

We were talking about what we wanted to do with his body.

Cremated? Buried?

But, it was all too much at the time.

My thoughts were all on Jax.

I killed him.

I killed him. I killed him. I killed him.

I had killed Jax.

If I had just stayed with Jax. If I had done what my heart wanted. If I had just stayed with him like I wanted to. If I had let him know that I loved him.

If I had, if I had, if I had.

So many 'if's. But, they were all in the past.

I couldn't do any of that.

I couldn't bring back a brother. I couldn't bring back a son. I couldn't bring back a lover. I couldn't bring back a friend. I couldn't bring back a scholar. I couldn't bring back a singer.

So many things I couldn't do.

So many things I lost when I lost Jax.

But, I had to move on. I had to.

Jax would want me to.
______________________
The End.
Finished: 2.5.18

Wait, don't give up on this yet! There is an epilogue, and a sequel. Information about the sequel will be posted in the next few chapters.

... please read the sequel