My Gay Teacher [COMPLETED]

21-"I'm really scared."

Jax-

School had started back up again. My cuts were still a mystery to all but myself. Walking- well, more riding- down the halls, I got many gasps of concern, and 'how are you feeling?'s.

Even around Colton, I couldn't bring myself up to my normal happiness. I was happier with Colton than without, but my happiness was never the same.

One spring afternoon, I went to a bar after school. I needed something to get my spirits up. I couldn't bring my motorized chair, because I could get arrested for driving a motorized vehicle while being drunk. So, my arms were exhausted by the time I got to the bar.

The bar was a little place, with very low activity, but great beer. The beer didn't boost my energy, though. It made it worse. It enhanced my feelings of worthlessness.

Colton was probably going to move away without me. Ash was too grownup to need me anymore. My friends had forgotten about me for a second time. I couldn't even walk! I was just a waste of space. My mother didn't even want me. Neither did my dad. And Dash left me without even a notice. I made Rhett leave this world the same way Dash had. Zander has had to go to anger management since I rejected him. I broke people.

Still very drunk, I wheeled myself home. Well, tried to. I ended up getting lost in some park, and broke into tears. That was how drunk I was.

After that, everything turned black. I could recall nothing else from that night. All I knew was that the next morning, I was in bed with a somehow familiar man, both of us naked.

The familiar man awoke around the time I did, and I started questioning him. "What happened last night?" I ask in a quiet, but panicky voice. My hangover was ridiculously bad, and my head felt as thought it were throbbing.

The man just laughed. "Well, let me say this. Your legs may not work, but your dick does!" My first thought was Colton. He had no idea where I was! And, on top of that, I just had drunk sex. With a man that wasn't my boyfriend.

I groaned. The man got up, and threw on his clothes. They looked like work clothes, and it had a name tag. River Stephens. Shit.

The reason the man looked so familiar was because he was Rhett's brother. Rhett Stephens. My dead ex boyfriend. I bolted up. River threw me my clothes, and I managed to throw them on, hop in my wheelchair, and wheel out of the house.

I didn't know where I was. And, I didn't care. I just couldn't be near here. I rolled forward, never looking back.

What had just happened?! I just drunkenly slept with my dead. Ex. Boyfriend's. Brother. I eventually came upon a familiar street, and made my way to my house.

As soon as I got in, Colton ran to the door from a spot on his couch. It was Saturday, so we didn't have school. "Jax!" I winced at his loud voice. "Where were you last night?" His voice showed anger, laced with some concern.

I sigh. "With a friend. Sorry I didn't call." I apologize, and rode right past him. He didn't have to know, and I could never tell him.

Colton stopped me, and crossed his arms. "Jax, we are in such a good place! Don't lie to me!" He begs.

I sigh. "It doesn't matter, Colton!" I was starting to show some anger in my tone. But, I winced just at the sound of my own voice raising.

Colton, being able to see my reaction to too much noise, and my tired expression, sighed. "You're hungover, aren't you? You got drunk last night, didn't you?" He says these things more as a statement than a question. I don't answer him. He sighs, throwing his hands atop of his head. "Just go sleep, and then we'll discuss this."

I did as he told. After some sleeping, he came back to talk to me. "Jax, what happened last night?" He asked.

I sighed, putting my hands on my face. "I honestly don't know, Colton. I don't know why I did all that!"

"Jax." His voice was stern, but showed concern. "I saw the cuts on your arm. I-I thought you were done with this kind of thing." His hand falls upon my shoulder.

I looked anywhere but where his face was. I couldn't look at the pain I was sure was in his eyes. "Colton..."

"Where were you last night? Who were you with?"

"Colton, let me explain!"

"No! Not only are you lying to me about what happened last night, but you were also hurting yourself , and not telling your boyfriend!"

I didn't respond. I didn't know how to. There was an uncomfortable silence between us, and I knew he was waiting for my response, which I had finally constructed. It wasn't a good response, but it was one. "Colton, I'm sorry."

I saw a tear fall from Colton's eyes. "Why did you do it, Jax?" His voice was cracking as more tears fell.

I shook my head. "I don't know, Colton."

"Why did you do it, Jax?! Why, why, why?!"

"When you left for the interview... I don't know! With the combination of you being gone, and the whole thing with my legs... I don't know Colton! I don't know!" I was screaming at this point, my voice occasionally cracking due to the flood of tears I was holding back. My hands went up to my eyes, trying to hide the tears I was no longer holding back. My body was shaking out of anger, sadness, but most of all fear. "I..." a lump in my throat caught my words. I choked them out. "I'm scared, Colton. I'm really scared." I confess to him. I was terrified. Terrified to lose him. Yet, terrified to live. I was scared.

He wraps his warm, muscular arms around my body, trying to stop my shaking. Tears were still falling out of his eyes, and they dropped on to my shoulder. "Scared of what, Jax?" He asks in a soothing voice.

I shake my head, the tears streaming out faster than before. "Everything, Colton! Everything! I'm afraid to lose you! I'm afraid to live without you! I'm afraid I'll scare you away! I'm afraid to live!"

I heard a body coming towards my room. It was around noon. Ash comes in, rubbing his eyes. "Jax, are you..." his words were cut off by a giant yawn, signaling he had just woken up, "... are you okay?" He finishes.

The tears were like a waterfall on my face, and my body was an earthquake it was shaking so much. My throat was clogged, and I just shook my head as an answer, not being able to do much else.