You Better Know (Red Velvet Irene/Reader/Twice Sana)

Chapter Nineteen:

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I don't think I had ever spent this much time inside my room. In fact I made it a point to only leave it when it was absolutely necessary, doctor appointments or therapy only. Irene, the girls, even Suki came by to visit. Always trying to get me to go out and do something but they always received the same answer. No. They were welcome to come and hang out in my room but there was no way I was going to leave that room. Call it childish behavior but that's where my mental state was at. That's what my life was like without Sana.

It has even come to the point that I cringe anytime I hear anyone knock. Just like right now. I was getting tired of saying no and they were relentless. I mentally groaned and cursed whoever was knocking on my door. Another day of endless invitations to go eat or go watch a movie or something that didn't involve my room.

"Come in!" I yelled already pissed at whoever was on the other side.

"Hey" Suki said shyly. He had made it a habit to come visit a few times a week. I wondered if it had to do anything with Sana or if it was just incase she asked. But I thought it better to not question it.

"Oh look! It's a Minatozaki" I said cynically.

"You say that like it's a bad thing"

"It's definitely not a good thing, Suki"

"Am I going to get you to come out of your room today?"

"Nope" I said changing the channels on the television, knowing we were about to start the same argument we had every other time he came. Only this time I had very little patience left.

"Come on bro, you need to get out sometime. Let's go do something fun"

"Suki" I looked at him pleadingly. I didn't want to have this conversation again for the thousand time knowing that it would end the same way it did two days before and the time before that and the time before that.

"I don't want to do this time and time again. You have been a great friend to me through all of this and I know I've been an ass. But I don't want to go out there because if I do, I know I will look for her. I will look for her in everyone that is out there and I can't bring myself to face knowing that I will never see her again. I'd like to live in that denial for a little bit longer. And even when I'm ready to stop lying to myself it still wouldn't be with you. Anybody but you, you remind me too much of her. Because there's a hint of her eyes in yours, there's the same type of blood running through you that is running through her, sometimes I even hear her laugh in yours and I can't. I can barely handle seeing your dad for my appointments. And even if I were able to get over all of that, my anger would surface, because you all get to know where she is and I don't. You all love her but so do I and it's not fair. So please just stop asking me to get out of my room because it is not as simple as it sounds"

I could finally see a hint of defeat in his eyes. I didn't like disappointing people but he wouldn't be the first Minatozaki I'd disappoint.

"Look, I'm just trying to help you here. I came here at the beginning because Sana asked me too. But then I saw how much you love my sister and I know how much she loves you too, so not just for her but for you, I want you to be better, too"

"Sana, asked about me?"

"Asks. Everyday. She cares and loves for you so much" He answered sitting on the edge of my bed.

"But not enough to call herself" I retorted.

"She calls me and texts me every chance she gets to get an update how you are"

"But she's not coming back Suki. So why does she keep asking?"

"Maybe because like you she is stubborn as fuck. And maybe she needs to know that you've moved on" This conversation was going worse than I thought because he was bringing up things I didn't want to know about. Like that she asked about me. That only helped the wound grow bigger and that was opposite of what I was trying to do.