-ˏˋ YOONSEOK | FAVORITES ˎˊ-

Youre Lit And Im On Fire (Its A Match!)

Author/ sheepishfiction
Word Count/ 4.2K
https://archiveofourown.org/works/5987343
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Hoseok lights up his usual post-coital vape, and doesn't even bat an eye as Jimin flips the rest of his room inside-out in a mad scramble to find his clothes. The first inhale is always the sweetest, menthol and mint chasing the rest of the air out of his lungs, and the smoke billows up slowly, as lazily as he feels.

"Ugh," The younger brunette whines, "Where's my other sock? I have class in thirteen minutes on the other side of campus."

"You never go to Ethics anyway." He does bat an eye at this, blinks several times and raises an eyebrow in fact, but obligingly rolls out of bed to help anyway. He tosses a wrinkled shirt over. "It's G.E., and you hate that class."

"Yeah, but-" Jimin locates the last of his apparel and flies into the adjoint bathroom of the master bedroom that Hoseok shares with Namjoon. He turns around from the door, cheeks tinged interestingly pink. "I'm gonna borrow your shower, I may or may not have a date with that one really hot freshman pledge from the class next door after."

Hoseok chokes on his next exhale. The other brow comes up to join the first, racing for his hairline in disbelief. "Park Jimin. You texted me for a quick fuck before a date? With the same Jeon Jungkook you've been dicklusting over the entire first semester? Are you insane?"

"I needed stress relief!" Jimin shuts the door behind him and shouts through it defensively. "Don't judge me!"

Hoseok snorts, laughing, "Get out of here, I am not sleeping with you anymore. That kid looks like he'd castrate me just for looking."

Freshly clean and primped ten minutes later, Jimin smiles with a two finger salute. "Bye! It's been fun!"

"You know the way out," Hoseok grins and waves him off. "Good luck and don't forget to text me all the sordid details."

---

The problem, Hoseok thinks at 1:30AM while staring blankly at the back of Namjoon's snoring blond head three days later, the biggest problem with his favorite sophomore maybe or maybe not dating Jungkook is that Hoseok is now excessively horny at 1:30AM with no one to call, and that is depressing. It's rather hard (ha!) to go from getting some extremely regularly to suddenly subzero.

The solution of course, comes to him at 1:45AM in the shower (as is where most brilliant ideas are born), with his hand around his cock. The solution is...well the obvious solution is Tinder.

There's no better place to go find a new fuck-buddy than Tinder.

It's 1:57AM when he's done installing the app, and 2:22AM when he's done updating his profile from the last time he'd been desperate enough to install such things (at eighteen, two years ago, wide-eyed and innocent, and oh how things have changed). He looks over his three carefully curated pictures again; hip thrusting crotch shot ft. leather pants from last year's dance showcase (check), candid shirtless post-shower, towel mussed hair shot (thanks Jimin), and of course his signature lip-biting, winking, snapback-angled-upward selfie (his profile default).

His tagline is a Hoseok original.

'i have a vape, netflix, and a housemate who makes chocolate banana pancakes every friday'

The card stack loads in a few swirling circles before loading a most probably, definitely jailbait girl's tits, and Hoseok grimaces, immediately tapping back through to preferences to update them to a more appropriate age range of between nineteen and twenty-three. He narrows the distance down to within one mile, too lazy to relocate beyond campus for casual sex, confirms that his preferred gender(s) still include both chicks and dicks, then rolls over in bed onto his back and waits for the stack to reload.