Metamorphosis

Confessions

'Mira, I was sexually abused by my dad.' The words were right there in his head, but they wouldn't come out of his mouth.

He looked at her helplessly, and she took that as her cue to try and stand up. Mira began kicking the blankets off her legs.

"Its okay, Seth, you don't have to talk about it," she said as gently as she could.

All Seth could do was stare at her. He knew how hard it was for her to stand up from her sitting position. He wanted to help her, but his feet were glued to the floor.

His stomach was in knots, his breathing labored. She was so innocent in this matter. He was so disgusting and used. His throat clenched as the thought of his past overwhelmed his mind.

She managed to scoot to the edge of the bed with her legs dangling over, about to stand up, "It's alright, lets just lay down and get some-"

"Mira, I was sexually abused by my dad." He immediately squeezed his eyes closed in preparation to her reaction as silence filled the room.

He already knew what she would do, though.

"What? You sick, disgusting freak!" she screamed, suddenly standing up and slapping him hard across the face. "No wonder you are so messed up! Get away from me and my baby! God knows what perverted thoughts you will get!"

Seth kept his eyes closed tightly. His heart was pounding loudly in his ears. He knew that this secret of his would forever end any relationship between them, but he was willing to make that sacrifice. She needed to know what kind of person he was so she could protect herself and the baby.

Time passed. A minute. An hour. A day. A millennium. But still no sound came from either of them.

Finally, he heard her stand up and slowly walk toward him. He prepared him self for a string of angry words to escape from her mouth, for her to hit him. She had to be angry with him, how could she care about someone as damaged and tainted as him?

"Oh, Seth…" her voice was feather soft and… tearful. He opened his eyes to see her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

The second Seth had told her, Mira's heart had stopped. Immediately, Seth's reaction when he saw his father on their date made sense. The reason why he said he had no father made sense. The reason why he never spoke about him and got angry when someone mentioned him made sense. Everything made sense.

He had closed his eyes tight and turned his head away, as if expecting her to fly out and start beating him. She got off the bed and slowly approached him, her heart pounding in her head and tears threatening to start falling. Her legs became more and more like jelly with every tiny step she took toward him.

"Oh, Seth," she whispered so quiet it was almost inaudible. His eyes opened swiftly and he looked at her in shock. Worrying her bottom lip between her teeth, she reached a hand up to cup his cheek. His expression remained unmoved by her gentle caress. He continued staring at her with wide eyes. She gulped back the sob that was threatening to escape and asked, "Why-why didn't you tell me?"

Maybe it was the tone of her voice, or maybe it was the fact that he felt so emotionally vulnerable, but Seth's eyes filled with tears and he turned his head toward the ground.

"I couldn't," he said quietly. Mira sniffled and reached her other hand out to cup his other cheek.

"Why?" she asked gently.

"Because…"

"Because why?"

"I was scared, okay?" he said, suddenly pulling away from the comfort of her hands on his face and dropping down onto the soft cushions of the window seat.