| = > Chapter Fourteen < = |

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Angry... I'm... I'm angry...

But... why are there uncontrollable tears falling from my eyes?... Why won't they stop?...

And with the descent of each droplet of liquid sadness... Why does another wave of confusion add to the growing pile?...

I've been searching for her for years... Why am I seeing this now?...

It hurts so much... The loss and the acknowledgement too much to bear...

She's really dead. Beth is dead.

But she can't be... It doesn't make sense... It can't be right, it just can't be...

She's not dead. Beth is alive.

But that picture... The death report.. The necklace...

There's just too many emotions... Too many rejections... Too many errors...

And of course the one question that really takes the cake:

How did my father find out about her?

And why would he send that package to me on my birthday... He couldn't be that heartless...

Could he?

•••|-|•[]•|~•|~•[]•|~•_|~•••

Four days.

That's how long I've been in my room.

Raging. Sobbing. Thinking.

Four days.

That's how long the boys have been knocking on my bedroom door.

Pleading. Soothing. Worrying.

I don't mean to upset them, I would never do that to them on purpose. Especially Jungkook, who came crying outside my door the second day and begging for me to come out. Begging to allow them to help me.

"You can't do this alone, Noona..." "Please, open the door..." "I need you..."

The sad part is, he's right. I do need them. But... Whether it's insecurity or simply stubbornness, I can't open the door. Not then, and now.

Jimin came next. He wasn't as openly emotional as the youngest was, but I could still inference he was crying by the trembling of his soft voice.

"We miss you, Noona..." "Please, open the door..." "I miss you..."

One by one each of the boys came, knocking and begging outside my bedroom door. Honestly, I wasn't expecting my disappearance to be that effective... but, then again I wasn't expecting to find out that my best friend truly died. On my birthday nonetheless.

Jin.

"Princess, don't hide from us..." "Please, open the door..." "Let me help you..."

Taehyung.

"Noona, this isn't funny..." "Please, open the door..." "I can make you feel better..."

Namjoon.

"You need to come out soon, Noona..." "Please, open the door..." "I shouldn't have let you open that package..."

And last, Hoseok.

"Don't do this to me, Tals..." "Please, open the door..." "Let me hold you..."

I hate myself. I hate how I'm making them this way. I hate how I can't open that goddamn door.

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