H O R R O R S || B T S [Completed]

| = > Chapter Nineteen < = |

It's funny just how quickly your life can turn upside down.

Six months ago, I was oblivious at my home. My father was still my father. BamBam was still alive. And Beth was still missing...

I was still Horrors.

I thought it was impossible. After Beth disappeared, I promised myself I would never be that girl again. I would leave Tallulah Hart behind, and start fresh. I convinced myself the person I was... or am... died when Beth left me... when my Mom left me... Sure, there were times a glimpse of Tallulah shone through my bitter exterior. Where the innocence sometimes outweighed the guilt.

I was Horrors to the world and to myself...

I was Tallulah to them... to BTS...

They didn't see me as everyone else did... They understood what it was like to hurt... They awoke my old self from the ashes...

And yet they betrayed me in the end.

I guess a part of me knew it was too good to be true. I lost my chance at happiness when I gave up everything. And every good thing has its catch... Just like every pretty face holds a gaping flaw.

I lost my way. I became so immersed in the joy they brought me, in the safety they provided. I forgot exactly how my world works, how this world works. I blinded myself with the arms of being loved again, being loved by them.

They brought Tallulah back to life.

Yet, when I think about it, I can't make the decision. Would I rather be living my life before? With calling the murderer of my mother, my father? With chasing someone who can never be found? With being someone who I never was?

Or would I rather live in the present? With knowing my identity was all one big coverup? With knowing the most important person in my life is dead? With knowing I'm actually not as strong as I let on?

My old life brought no pain. No love.

My life now brings pain. With love.

Then again, what's the point of living a life without pain? And without love? What's the point of being immersed in a life that's all about power? A power that's not even over yourself... but the world? What's the point of being born when you don't even know who you are anymore? Am I the person I want to be? Am I the person I was destined to be?

Am I Tallulah?

Am I Horrors?

Or were they the same person? And all along Tallulah was cold and wicked. And all along Horrors was broken and innocent... Am I Horrors and Tallulah?

To be honest, it doesn't even matter
anymore.

The Scorpions and the Serpents are at their turning points. People are going to die. Innocent people. Guilty people. That doesn't matter either. Life is life. And life is precious.

I know that now.

Blood is going to be shed. Whether it be from the Scorpions or the Serpents is a mystery. Neither one will stop until the other is destroyed. Power is power, you know. And there's not enough to share.

Is it foolish to wish I was never born? I'm a freak of nature after all. Bearing the blood of a Serpent, yet the mind of a Scorpion. It would've been better for everyone if I died in that crash. I would've been free. Free from all the pain, the lies, the love...

Free from life.

That's all I ever wanted... Freedom... Freedom and Happiness... Freedom and Happiness and Love... That's all I ever wished for...