Quinn Fabray: My Story

Chapter 26 - Faith

I entered the choir room that afternoon to see an emotional Kurt. Tina hugged him first. I walked over and put a supportive arm around him before sitting down next to him. Finn came into the choir room upset. "What the hell happened?" Finn asked Kurt. "My dad's in the hospital," Kurt said. "I know. My mom just called me. I feel like I'm the last one to know," Finn said upset. "I'm sorry, Finn. It didn't occur to me to call you, because he's not your father," Kurt shot back. "Yeah, well, he's the closest I'm ever going to get, okay?" Finn frowned pausing before saying. "I know it may not look like what everybody else has but I thought we were sort of a family." He sighed. "Look, I guess I just- I didn't like overhearing other people talking about it in gym class," Kurt then removed his bag to let Finn sit on the other side of him. Finn tried to be supportive of Kurt which Kurt rejected.

I couldn't help but feel bad for Finn once again. All he was trying to do was be there for Kurt and Kurt seemed to be shutting him out. It wasn't unlike how I had been with Puck. Guilt was the word I would use to describe how I felt. "Hey, guys. Our thoughts are all with Kurt and I know it's sort of hard to really focus on anything else," Mr. Schue began as he entered the room "Mr.

Schue?" Mercedes asked. "Yeah?" Mr. Schue said. "I've been struggling, trying to figure out what I wanted to say to Kurt all day and I realize I don't want to say it, I want to sing it. This song is about being in a very dark place and turning to God. It's a spiritual song, Mr. Schue. Is that okay?" Mercedes asked as she got up. "It's fine," Mr. Schue assured her. "Tina, Quinn, can you help me out, please?" Mercedes asked as Tina and I got up to sing background for her on 'I Look to You'.

The song was a beautiful choice Mercedes had made to let Kurt know that he wasn't alone. Everyone clapped for Mercedes after she finished and Kurt seemed to be emotional. "Thank you, Mercedes. Your voice is stunning, but I don't believe in God," Kurt said as we all were shocked. "Wait, what?" Tina said confused "You've all professed your beliefs. I'm just stating mine. I think God is kind of like Santa Claus for adults. Otherwise, God's kind of a jerk, isn't he? I mean, he makes me gay, and then has his followers going around telling me it's something that I chose as if someone would choose to be mocked every single day of their life. And right now I don't want a heavenly father. I want my real one back," Kurt said.

"But Kurt, how do you know for sure? I mean, you can't prove that there's no God," Mercedes said. "You can't prove that there isn't a magic teapot floating around on the dark side of the moon with a dwarf inside of it that reads romance novels and shoots lightning out of its boobs but it seems pretty unlikely, doesn't it?" Kurt said as I shook my head. "Is God an evil dwarf?" Brittany asked. I had enough of listening to him say things like this "We shouldn't be talking like this," I scolded "It's not right." "I'm sorry, Quinn," Kurt apologized to me "But you all can believe whatever you want to. But I can't believe something I don't. I appreciate your thoughts but I don't want your prayers," Kurt said as he left the choir room.

My heart sank for Kurt. Of course, I didn't appreciate his talk about God but he had a point. There were a lot of churches that did say being gay was a choice acting like it was something people could control. I didn't believe that, not for a second. I believed the Christian way was to treat others with kindness and respect. Besides that there was nothing in the bible that God himself said being gay was a sin, that's a fact. The bell rang as we exited the choir room. I wished there was more I could do for Kurt but I knew there was nothing I could really do to change his mind.

I was preparing a song for Glee Club that I thought would be perfect for this week. I had chosen 'Amazing Grace'. I grew up singing the song in church and the lyrics were more true to me than ever before. I had turned to God last year and my faith save me in more ways then one. I got up at my Sunday mass to sing the song I was hoping to do for Glee Club.