Memories Over a Picnic

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"Well I try my best." he said chuckling slightly. The sandwich tastes just like it did when mum made them.

"I know you do and I appreciate that." I said to him as I tried to hide the sorrow that was stirring in the pit of my stomach. "How's work been then?"

"You know, the usual, boring and tedious. How are the lads?"

"Yeah they're good James has been asking about you, he's worried you work too hard."

"Tell him not to worry and that I've got you helping me out."

"I will when I next see him." We then talked and finished everything that my dad had packed. We tidied our rubbish before taking a stroll. My dad went silent when we started walking and I know it was because this is what we used to do, the three of us.

"Your mum would've loved it here..." my dad blurted out and I looked at him. His eyes were fixed on looking in front of him. "She loved parks and taking walks along the edge of a forest where you could hear the birds tweeting in the trees..." I could tell he was fighting against tears.

"She would've..." I didn't know what to say to help him cheer up.

"She always wanted to travel the world and she wanted to take you with us. She wanted the world for you, she loved you with all her heart..." at the word a tear escaped his glistening eye. I hugged him tightly and he returned the hug. "Delilah you're such a strong girl...you're just like her, your mother." This made me cry, I looked up to my mum so much and I always wanted to be like her.

My mother died from a heart failure however she did suffer from heart disease, that's why my dad cried when he said the word 'heart'. She was in extreme pain for the last few years of her life, me and dad had to visit her in hospital quite often and no matter how bad she was, she'd be smiling that winning smile of hers. For a woman in pain she was so cheerful...

"Come on dad, let's go..." I said as we turned back the way we had come from. My dad's sniffling was the only thing to break the silence on the way back to the apartment. My dad grabbed the basket and I followed him back into the apartment. He put the basket on the kitchen counter and stormed off to his room. I just left him and threw out the rubbish from the picnic. The tears started streaming down my face and I decided to text James to see if he would come over.

1 message to - James <3 xxx

Hey James if you're home can you come over if not then it's fine. Thanks. Xxx

I got an instant reply.

1 message from - James <3 xxx

I'm outside. Xxx

I got up and answered the door. I hugged him instantly and he wrapped his arms around me making me feel safe. We stood there for 5 minutes while I cried into his chest.

"Come on let's sit down." James said as I pulled away and he kept his arm around my shoulder. We sat down in the sofa and I rested my head on his shoulder. James stroked my hair and tucked it behind my ear. "Do you want to tell me?"

I didn't answer for quite some time because he wouldn't have understood for my tears would've messed up my breathing. I sat up and turned to face him.

"Me and my dad went on a picnic. You may think that's nothing but to us it's memories, memories of my mum. He made smoked salmon and goats cheese sandwiches the same way mum did and we walked along the edge of the forest like the of us used to do when I was six. The memories came flooding back and three years just isn't enough not for me and definitely not for him...he said...he said that I'm..." I couldn't finish more tears flooded my eyes and James pulled me into his chest.

"It's okay. I know enough." he's so reassuring and forgiving. I can't keep him in the dark about my past forever! James deserves to know!

"James, I'm going to tell you about my past..."

"I know you are but don't rush, okay?"

"Okay." after we had cuddled for another 10 minutes I decided I was going to tell him what had happened today.

"James, today my dad told me that I'm just like her, my mum that is. He also said that mum would love it here and she would've loved to travel the world with the two of us. It just made me upset knowing that she couldn't do all the things she wanted to do." I paused so the tears wouldn't return. "My mum died of heart failure and before she passed away she suffered from heart disease and she'd have heart attacks. We never knew whether we'd see her again after she had one. Me and my dad would visit her in hospital and no matter what state she was on she'd be smiling, she always had a positive outlook in life. I remember the day we arrived at the hospital and the nurse told us that she had passed away ten minutes before we arrived. I was devastated, I wished that I could've done more, James, I felt helpless..."

"Delilah, there was nothing more you could do. You loved your mum and so did your dad that's all she could ever have asked for. She'll be looking down on you now and asking 'why are you crying, Delilah?' she's looking down on you and she's proud of the daughter she has." James had pulled me up so that I was looking in his eyes. Every word he said made me feel happier. Without James, the boys and my dad I don't think I could get through this.

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This chapter is just to tell you a hit more about her mum and to show the relationship between herself, her mum and dad. It was quite upsetting to write this bit you've got to have a few upsetting ones.

Thanks Fin! <3

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