Mine (Editing)

Chapter 13: Dollar Bills

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This is a first draft. There will be errors and grammatical mistakes until it has gone through the editing process.

One word. Humiliation. It's a burn that slowly devours my body while I lay there in my own awkwardness and trapped in my mind. Would the term savage be appropriate here? There was no remorse. No comfort. This was...I don't know, unprecedented? I zoned out as I move about collecting the bills that I 'worked' so hard for. I knew I did this for Tyler, it's what I told myself, but I was embarrassed at my moment of weakness. My moment of vulnerability. And the desire that I had for a man that uses me.

Not wasting another second, I throw my dress on and rush out of the master into the kitchen where I left my purse. Grabbing the thing, I moved towards to deck. There wouldn't be a point of calling a cab if we weren't docked. Alexander has timed my demise perfectly. We were approaching the marina. The view was breathtaking and yet, I panicked. Would people see it, smell it? I dig hurriedly through my purse as we approached.

I'm grateful for the baby wipes resting at the bottom of the thing, although Tyler was past this stage I liked keeping them on hand, they make great wetwipes. There. All done. It's a little past eight-thirty and I my stomach growled. Cheap ass couldn't even take me out to dinner. I balked. Why was I expecting anything more from this asshole? Why? I would never feel his lips beneath mine, or his wide shoulders in my hands. And that shit hurt. It fucking hurt. He didn't lead me on. We were both candid from the start. I swallowed the bulge in my throat as my mouth dried up and tears burned in my eyes. What was wrong with me?! Jace didn't want me and Alexander didn't want me either! I could feel my nostrils flaring and burning as hot tears leaped from my eyes.

Fuck! I was such an idiot.

"Hello?" I croak into the phone.

"Hey doll face. Its Taylor. Think you can swing a shift for me?"

"Sure!" I said in surprise, thinking about the place where I first encounter Alexander.

"When do you need me?"

"Twenty minutes ago."

"Alright. I'm there."

Crap! What was I thinking?! I couldn't go to the bar smelling like sex, and lord knows I couldn't just show up at home looking the way I did. My eyes drifted over towards the pier once more. I could plunge myself in the water, right? No, no, no. It was too cold and I wouldn't have anything to wear afterwards. Ugh. I was going to have to hail a cab to the closest Walmart and somehow sneak my car away from parking lot at home, before I make an appearance at Second Bar and Kitchen.

"Thank you," I said humbly taking the hundred-dollar tip from one of the women in Shana's entourage. It felt good to put skills that didn't require me being on my knees with my mouth wrapped around the opposite sex anatomy. I nodded at Shana, before hurrying towards the back to prepare for the next section. I cringed thinking about the sink bath I gave myself inside the Walmart family restroom. Thank the heavens for small mercies. And yes, I did feel out of place, and like a hooker walking the aisle in six-inch pups as I grab more sensible shoes and outfit for the club. Hell, I even managed to grab an outfit and a couple of cars for Tyler. I couldn't go anywhere without bringing some trinket home for him. It felt good to see his eyes light in happiness. It made me feel like I was doing something right. I hated giving up the money, but I was going to have to cut ties with Alexander. My state of mind was unraveling at an exponential rate. The man had some kind of grip on my mental state and I wasn't sure he even knew about it. I needed to move. Find a job. Maybe, I could get a job at a tech place. I was knowledgeable. I would have to talk about my internship at iBots, at seventeen, but I was willing to do it to provide a better life for me and Tyler. I can't let another man control me. I just can't. I hated how much I still wanted the man.