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Bound to Speak?

February 20, 2018
6:45 pm
(Maine)

"Tito, Tita, gagayak na po muna ako. May aasikasuhin lang po ako sa opisina at aayusin ko lang po mga papeles ko." RJ told my parents who were both sitting on the couch, side by side.

"Hindi ka na maghahapunan? Bumili pa naman si Dean at si Nico ng pagkain sa labas." Nanay worriedly said.

Richard managed a weak smile. "Okay na po tita. Salamat po. Babalik po ako mamayang umaga. Coleen, ate niks, kuya john, una na ko."

"Ingat ka!" All of them said at once, and Matti even gave him a small wave.

Richard exhaustedly walked out of the hospital with only his phone and keys. He went straight to his car and opened all the doors to dust the seats.

You know naman, OCD goals diba?

But setting that aside, I took that as a chance to get inside the passenger seat.

Syempre, I will come with RJ noh. Baka kung anong mangyari dito, antok pa naman tong baby ko.

Hehehe...

Ang saya ko masyado! Shouldn't I be sad that I'm in this state?

"Ganyan talaga yan iha. It's the basic stage in becoming a Phantom."

"Jusko po tita rio! Nakakagulat naman ho kayo, bigla biglang sumusulpot."

She just suddenly popped up beside the car, hovering beside the door of the passenger seat, like it's so freakishly normal.

"Eh, sinundan lang kita saglit. Aakyat na rin ako sa pamilya mo, babantayan ko sila, nakakaaliw panoorin eh."

"Ah, eh, maraming salamat po."i shyly said.

Richard then began slamming the doors close, including mine, but the windows are still wide open. He entered the driver's seat and placed his hands on the wheel, getting ready to speed off.

"Paano iha, ingat kayo ng tisoy natin ah? Papasok na ako." Tita rio said as she slowly walked away from the vehicle.

I waved at her but I saw her abruptly stopped and looked back.

"Meng! Iha! Please remember, we write our own future, we pursue our heart's needs, unless it's read, you sha'nt be freed."

I furrowed my brows, obviously creeped out and weirded by her sudden reminder. I shrugged it off of my mind and watched as Richard sped off to the road.

I sat comfortably on the passenger seat, facing Richard as his brows and eyes twitch due to exhaustion.

Somewhere deep inside me, I felt pity, I felt guilty, I felt sorry. I practically wanted to pinch myself to see if this was still a dream, but I have to face the reality that this is true.

RJ turned on the radio and tears fell from his eyes after hearing the song that played out of the speakers.

🎵Nobody said it was easy,
It's such a shame for us to part...🎵

He immediately stopped the car beside the road and opened a bottle of water. He gulped half of it and slammed the radio off.

I didn't notice, that also I, was falling in tears. I adjusted myself and slowly held Richard's hand.

I felt an indescribable sensation that rushed through me. I saw Richard's necklace flash brighter than the Sun once more.

I let go of him to cover my eyes and peeked when it began to cool down into it's bluish-white form.

"Panirang kwintas." I mumbled to myself.

He then slowly shifted his head to my direction, as if he was looking right through me. His eyes were searching, but disappointment filled his face.

"Jay, sorry... dahil sakin nagkakaganto ka na." I told him, even if he couldn't hear me, at least I tried saying so.

He stared out the windshield, still, like a rock that looked lifeless. But he was tearing up and his lips were shaking.

"M-maine?" He suddenly called out.

Is this true?
Tinatawag niya ako?
But, no it can't be.

"RJ?" I hopefully responded.

He abruptly looked around his Vehicle as if looking for the voice that he seemed to have just heard.

"Y-you, y-you can h-hear me?" I weakly asked, as if it was just a whisper. My hopes were getting up, even if I don't want them to.

"Shit, this is insane!" He yelled and slammed the dashboard angrily.

"Richard?" I called once again.

He raised his hands and covered his two ears as hard as he could, to block out things that he did not want to hear.

A million things then circled around my mind. But the majority of that is, he must be hearing me.

"Jay, listen..."

"Aaaahh!!! Stop it!" He screamed again and scrunched his face hard.

"RICHARD ANO BA?! HIRAP NA HIRAP NA KO, GUSTONG GUSTO KO NA KAYO MAKAUSAP, GUSTONG GUSTO NA KITA MAKAUSAP, GUSTONG GUSTO KO NA MABUHAY ULIT SA KATAWAN KO! I'M TRYING MY FUCKING BEST HERE, TO REACH OUT TAPOS AKO GAGANYANIN MO?!"

I just, lashed out, I bursted, and grew very impatient and tired of my current situation. Hindi lang sila yung nahihirapan, mas nahihirapan ako. I'm just doing everything I could and I just felt like I was being blocked out of things, kaya ayun, boom.

Richard's necklace then flashed in a fiery red color. Just for about three seconds. Then he, himself looked flushed in so much shock, he had his hands fisted on his lap, his eyes were wide open and his jaws were clenched.
But after a minute of silence, he softened up to calmness.

"A-are y-you really h-h-here?" He shakingly asked.

"What do you think?" I coldly answered as we both looked straight ahead, watching hundreds of cars pass by.

He took an overly deep breath and spoke:

"I-I'm sorry..."

And that was it, two words and all of my anger disappeared like magic. It was everything I needed to hear. That genuine and sincere apology of him that could shatter all of my walls.

"If you're really here Maine, I'm so sorry. Pasensya na sa lahat, pasensya na kasi wala akong magawa para padaliin lahat ng to. Kung pwede lang ako na sa posisyon mo, hindi ka lang mahirapan. Kaso hindi eh, wala akong magawa, kahit ano..."

I thought I could respond, but no, I couldn't. I can't find any courage and strength to do so. I simply lost my voice.

He sighed and drove off without hearing another word from me.

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To be continued.