Dominant (Harry Styles)

Chapter 48

"I know, Allison. I'm sorry. I really am. I don't know why I do these things, but I do them. And that's why I started going back to Derryck, because I need to change, I want to change, for you. I want to be the best I can be for you, Allison."

"You've said that a lot, Harry, and stuff keeps getting ruined." I tell him, and he shakes his head.

"What the fuck kind of stuff are you talking abou, Allison? I don't understand where all of this is coming from! Olivia just showed up last night, nothing else has happened to make you think that much differently of our relationship, has there been? I don't think so."

"Harry, this is a lot for me take in! I walk in overhearing that bitch talk about your past! Why were you guys discussing the past? It makes me think that you don't like me, that you don't want to be with me, Harry, and that's scary!" I say, squeezing onto the blanket a little more.

"We weren't talking about the past like that, she was just.." Harry runs his hands over his face and exhales deeply, "She was telling me not to think that any of the past was my fault."

"I don't understand," I shake my head, "What does that mean?"

"She told me the reasons why she left, she wanted to come back and tell me."

"But why? I don't get why it was so important for her to come back," I say, and then I remeber what she said to me before she left, "Is that why she told me she was only here because she wanted you to be happy. She wanted you to move on from her?"

"No and yes, Allison, it's complicated." He says, and I smack my lips together.

"I'm tired of hearing that word from you, Harry. It's not complicated, you just don't want to tell me." I explain to him, "Either tell me everything or I'm leaving, right now."

"Okay, fine. It might make you mad." Harry tells me, and he sighs heavily.

I haven't really seen him this vunerable. His eyes are now sad and there's dark circles under his eyes, he has had a frown ever since I saw him yesterday, and it hasn't left his face since. He actually looks scared, and that's what scares me. I undo the blanket around, I'm feeling a little to hot now, and fold my hands together and place them on my lap.

Am I really ready to listen to whatever he has to say?

"I'm going to tell you why she left our marriage, first. Is that okay?" He looks over at me, green eyes to my brown, and I nod my head, "She wanted to tell me, that she left me, because she wanted to. It had nothing to do with me, and she wanted me to make sure of that."

"But why-"

"Just, listen." Harry raises his hand to silence me, and I shut my mouth, "She left because she simply wasn't happy. She wasn't reay to jump into that with her first boyfriend, and I guess she was to scared to say no. Which, I think that's a load of bullshit, but whatever. She thought it wasn't fair to me that I was really into our marriage and deeply in love with her, and she didn't feel the same way. So she left, and ever since then I've been dying to know why she had left me. It was my first love, Allison, it really destroyed me. I was left with no answers, no reasons, and it literally messed me up. I didn't know what I did wrong to make her leave me, and that's why I went to Derryck, I went and explained to him what I was going through. But then, as time progressed, I kept getting angrier, and angrier, and then I found out about Dominant and Submissive relationships, and that seemed to release my anger in different ways tha tactually made me feel somewhat good. So, I stopped going to Derryck and started doing this, what I do now."

"Well I guess during that whole time, Olivia would call Derryck and ask him how I was doing, and he told her. And when I left, he had nothing to tell her. But when you and I started seeing each other, Louis had mentioned that I should go back and see him. Since I haven't had a girlfriend in a long time, he thought it would be good for me. So, I went back, which meant he called Olivia and told her that I was back."