IM GOING TO KILL HIM

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  "We need this Y/N. Our family needs it". My mother spoke, standing in front of me at her desk with my father. They wanted me to marry this wealthy Shadowhunter that came from a well known family tree.
"And what happens to what I want?". I said, not lifting my head to look at them.
"Oh don't be so selfish! We have given you wonderful opportunities and have gotten you so far in this institute, you owe this to us". My mother snapped. My father blinked nervously until he spoke, "Anyway it's done. He's coming to the institute tomorrow where you will be married immediately. Everything will be set up, you just have to show up, do you think you could do that?", he was so patronising.
I glared at them but there was nothing I could do. I had to do this for my family, "Just tell me the time and I'll be there".

I walked out of their office to be greeted by Izzy and Clary walking down the corridor, "Hey, what was that emergency meeting all about?", Izzy asked whilst both of them linked each of my arms. I was training with her when I got ushered to my parents.
"Oh just stupid family drama, wanna go into town for drinks?", I asked the both of them needing one last night out with my girls before my freedom would be taken away.
"Of course, give us half an hour and we'll be ready!". They both ran off to get all dolled up whilst I just went back to my room.

I sat on my bed and just went over what my parents had said to me, 'Don't be so selfish'. I've been everything but selfish. I have always put everyone before myself. A knock snapped me out of my thoughts. I got up to answer it, "Izzy I thought you said half an-". I opened the door to Alec. "Sorry I thought you might have been Izzy and Clary". I held the door open and motioned for him to come in.
"So what can I help you with?". Me and Alec had been close for a while, we had a flirty relationship, it was playful, we knew we both liked each other.
"Erm...this sounds stupid but I was wondering if you wanted to go out tonight...for dinner...just me and you?". I was so happy, the big grin on my face supported this.
"Alec I would-", then I remembered. "but I can't", I didn't want to tell anyone of the marriage yet. "I'm going out with Clary and Izzy tonight around town". I saw the disappointment on his face which broke me.
"But you can come too, you can bring Jace and Simon as well if you want". His famous smirk was now visible, obviously pleased with the invitation.
"Sounds great, I'll go get the others". He left, grazing my arm with his hand as he walked past. I walked over to my wardrobe looking at the options for me to wear. I wasn't in a mood to make an effort so black jeans and a T it was.

I lay down and waited for someone to come and get me. The next thing I knew I opened my eyes to Jace leaning over me at my bedside.
"Finally! I've been shouting you for like 10 minutes!". I sat up and let my eyes adjust.
"I'm sorry I must have dozed off".
Jace looked at me worriedly, "What is wrong with you lately?".
"I'm just exhausted, and stressed with all the mission reports I'm so behind on. The clave is on my back a lot these past few weeks".
"Well we don't have to go out tonight we can always-".
I cut him off, "NO no....I need this". He nodded with a look of concern and put an arm around me as we walked to go and meet the others.

We arrived at the club. I walked in with Clary and Izzy by my side whilst the other guys followed us in as we had more experience with mundane clubs.

Three hours, 7 shots, 4 vodka & cokes and a bottle of Malibu later....lets just say I was a little more than tipsy. We were all sat in a booth on the far side of the club right next to the dance floor. Jace and Clary were in the middle of a make out session whilst Simon was watching star wars on his phone as Izzy had passed out with her legs across Simon and her head on my lap. Me and Alec were talking...well, he was talking, I was slurring, although I could feel the room gradually starting to spin slower. Then all of a sudden Alec kissed me. It was long, passionate and so overdue. The second we pulled apart my lips did something before my brain could think about it.
"I'm getting married tomorrow". My eyes were still closed from the kiss and they stayed closed for a few more seconds as I was scared to see what his reaction would be. All of a sudden I felt completely sober. I opened my eyes and regretted it immediately. He looked heartbroken, confused, vulnerable and angry. All those emotions were showing on one face and I was the reason why. Before I could say anything else he was gone, running out of the club faster than I've ever seen someone move.
"ALEC-", I called out but the music was too loud and he was too far away, he wouldn't have even come back even if he did hear me. Jace must have heard me though as he broke apart from Clary and chased after Alec. I looked down at my lap, tears fell from my face and onto Izzy but she was dead to the world to notice. When I looked up I saw Clary and Simon look at me with an expression that said 'you have some explaining to do'.

I woke up in Clary's room. She didn't want to be on my own because of the state I was in last night, drunk and hysterical. After Simon took Izzy back to his I cried to Clary trying to get everything out whilst I still could. She was so supportive and was furious with what I was forced into but she understood that I felt like I had to do it, not for me but for my family. Jace had text Clary late last night to tell her he was back at the institute with Alec. They had just walked around the streets he said in the text and just talked. Alec had told Jace about the marriage, Clary explained it to Jace over the phone in which he told Alec but Jace was still pissed with me and Alec was still harbouring the same feelings from last night.
"They'll both understand soon enough". Clary must have noticed me staring into space and she must have knew that I was worrying about it all. I nodded.
"What time is it?".
She checked her phone, "9:30 AM".
I jumped up out of the bed and raced to the door, "I was meant to be in the chapel half an hour ago!".

I ran into the chapel to find my mother pacing and my father talking to the silent brother who would be initiating the wedding.
"I'm sorry, I was out late and I lost track of time this morning".
My mother walked towards me, "Enough with your excuses!". I felt the tears build up behind my eyes threatening to run down my cheeks but I fought them back. She dragged me to the front of the room where I was met by my father and the silent brother. As I stood not listening to a word they were saying the door swung open. I clenched my jaw in anticipation for my future partner to walk in but to my relief it was Clary, Simon and Izzy. I hadn't asked them to come and I didn't want them to but right now I knew I really needed them. A tear escaped as I smiled at them. They sat at the very back not wanting to disturb any family business. Since what felt like forever I finally felt relaxed knowing that whatever happened today I had people who truly loved me just a couple of footsteps away. Then the door opened again and suddenly my anxiety went from 0 to 100 real fast. In he walked, the person I presumed I was getting married off to. The closer he came the more I realised he wasn't the worst looking, I mean he was kinda cute; dark hair, tall, skinny yet muscle-y...I was literally describing Alec. Did this mean I had a type? No one could compare to how I felt about Alec. He was the one I truly wanted to be with, but my feelings didn't matter.

The vows had been said, the runes had been drawn and the rings had been given. The wedding was over. Everyone dispersed until there was just me at the front of the room. Still stood in the place I had been stood throughout. My freedom had been taken...my future had been written. As I watched my family leave I let my guard down and all tears rushed out. Clary, Simon and Izzy raced to me. I didn't know what to do anymore or what would happen to me now. For the first time in my life I felt lost and had no idea what I was going to do.

After the wedding I had gone straight to my room. The others wanted me to hang out with them so I could take my mind off of things for a few hours but I just wanted to be alone. I jumped straight in the shower and just stood there for what felt like hours under the hot water. I eventually got out and started to get changed when I heard noises coming from outside the bathroom door. I walked out, expecting to see Izzy gathering clothes so I could come and escape to Simon's place with them but it wasn't. It was my hubby...William I think his name was. I payed no attention throughout the ceremony so I avoided saying his name during the vows.
"What are you doing?". I asked as he was putting everything from my room into boxes.
He looked back at me with what I can only describe as disgust on his face. "You are to be moved into my room on the East wing, if we want to make this believable". The minute he turned back around anger rushed through me. How dare he come in here. How dare he take my things and look at me like that. I walked over to him and started unpacking all of my stuff.
"I'm not moving anywhere, my things are staying in this room and so am I". I didn't look at him. It felt good, it felt like I was getting control back over my life. This feeling stopped when he spun me around and slapped me across the face. His force was so strong that it knocked me to the ground. He grabbed the remaining boxes and left the room. I just lay there. Shocked at what had just happened.

I eventually composed myself and headed towards William's wing, as I didn't want to find out what would happen if I stayed in my room, when I bumped into Clary. She gasped and touched the side of my face, "Oh my god what did you do?". I know she didn't mean to say it the way I took it and she had no idea what had happened but all I heard coming from her voice was her saying it was my fault. Maybe it was my fault.
"Oh I was just stupid and hit my head on my bedside table from my nap before". I didn't want people to know and start gossiping. The wedding had already made me the topic of conversation on every mission so this would just make things worse. She just laughed, "What are you like!". Then she left. I was just stood in an empty corridor.

•5 DAYS PASSED•

I gently pulled on an oversized jumper, for the purpose of no one seeing my bruises, and my sweatpants. I hadn't spoken to anyone for days. I hadn't even left the room in days because I couldn't bare to see people so they could congratulate me on my wonderful new marriage, but I knew I had to train.
As I got to the training room I saw that half of the room was already occupied by Jace. Just him and a punch bag. I hadn't spoken to him since the night at the bar, as well as Alec.
He saw me walk in, rolled his eyes and carried on punching. I grabbed my throwing knives and my seraph blade and went over to the dummies to practise my fighting skills.
After an hour Jace came over and threw a duel stick towards my feet, "Lets go". The way he said it was so cold. I picked up the stick and walked to the centre of the room where he was stood and without being ready he struck the back of my legs and I fell to the ground. I gasped loudly and Jace looked at me like I was being dramatic but the pain was more than it usually was.
"How could you do it? How could you hurt him like that?".
I slowly got back to my feet and steadied myself, "I didn't want any of this to happen! I had to do this, my parents-". He cut me off.
"NO", he yelled. "There was no excuse, everyone has a choice and you chose to break my brothers heart. That night you told him at the club I could feel his heartbreak, there's just no excuse for that".
"HEY", this time I yelled which threw him off guard. "I love Alec...so much", tears started to build up and a lump was lodged in my throat. "I wanted to be with him and the night he asked me out was one of the happiest moments of my life. But no one understands. No one understands the pressure I was under". I couldn't hold back anymore and the tears fell. Jace was stood looking down at the floor, silent. I began to walk away when he gabbed my wrist. I screamed and fell down because of the pain. Jace stood back in shock not knowing what he had done.
He knelt down beside me, "What is with you today? And why are you dressed like winter for training". I caressed my wrist, he pulled my sleeve up and saw all the bruises. He pulled up my other sleeve where more were hidden.
"Where the hell did you get these from?!". I quickly got out of his grip and pulled down my sleeves and stood up.
I turned my back to him, "T-they're from m-my missions". I stuttered, not knowing what excuse seemed best.
"No they're not because I'm always on your missions and we haven't had one since last week, these are new bruises".
A new set of tears came to the surface and when I turned to face him and he noticed.
"Is he hurting you?".
At first I didn't say anything, I just looked at the floor refusing to make eye contact with him. But the second I looked into his eyes I started hysterically crying and that's when he knew.
He immediately came to my side and gently pulled my into a hug. It felt good to get it off my chest. After what felt like an hour he loosened he grip. "I'm gonna kill him". He was began to walk off but I ran in front of him pleading not to.
"Please don't! Please Jace".
"Give me one good reason not to".
"Because if he knows I've told people then I'm dead Jace. He lashes out when the tiniest things happen, so god only knows what he's going to do if you beat him!".
He nodded, hands still in tight fists but he understood.   

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