Matthew Daddario imagines

Never Again

"I can't believe you" you hissed as you stormed towards your room shaking your head, trying to hold yourself together.

Alec's harsh, angry words kept replaying in your head from your argument just minutes ago.

Flashback

"Why are you so irresponsible?" Alec huffed as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Excuse me? I'm doing my best Alec, even if I don't 100% follow the rules all the time, I still get my job done better than most of the other shadowhunters in here. I'm not ruled by law, I'm not just another one of the Clave's perfect little soldiers, I do what's right, that's more than I can say for you" you scoffed.

Alec's constant need to impress the Clave definitely got irritating at times, yes, you understood where he was coming from, but he was just wound so tightly there was never any getting through to him, and it irritated you immensely.

"So now you're telling me I don't do what's right? Law is right Y/N, it's law for a reason. I follow Clave orders because I have responsibilities that I need to take care of, maybe you should be trying harder!" Alec raised his voice. That was definitely off putting. He acted like you didn't do anything? Like you couldn't. "Whatever Alec, I told you I'm trying my best" you snapped. Clearly what you had said previously had really pissed him off, because he lost it.

"Well then maybe your best just isn't good enough! Maybe that's why your mother left you! Maybe that's why your relationship with your father is at a zero, maybe that's why we're stuck with you here, instead of you being back where you should be" he spat. You stood there in shock. Did he really just say all that? Did he really just bring that up? Your mother had left when you were very young, and your relationship with your father had shattered after that. That's how you ended up at the institute with Alec, Izzy, Jace, and the new and extremely kind Clary. Did he not want you here? That's basically what he just told you, he told you that you shouldn't be here. That stung, you felt your eyes begin to well up, and as soon as Alec saw that it was like a switch flipped in his head.

"Oh my god Y/N, I didn't mean any of it I swear, I-" he started before you quickly turned on your heel and ducked out of the large room. You headed straight for the room you shared with Alec, already knowing you would pack your things and leave. Go back to 'where you belonged'. Alec was following quickly behind you, calling your name as you marched.

End of flashback

"Just wait will you?" Alec said breathlessly as he got a hold of your upper arm. "Don't touch me" you snapped, your words laced with venom. You reached the door at that same moment, throwing it open and immediately running to your closet to grab a large duffle bag. "What are you doing?" The tall dark haired man you loved said. You didn't bother to answer him and you ran back into the closet to start grabbing clothes. "Y/N please, stop" he said grabbing the clothing you had thrown in your bag and setting it down on the bed.

"Listen I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me, I didn't mean anything I said, stupid words were just spilling out" Alec desperately said. "yeah, well it fucking hurt Alexander" you said lowly and continued packing. "Please stay, I need you here with me" he pleaded as he again, took everything out. "STOP UNPACKING MY STUFF" you yelled looking him dead in the eye, tears streaming down your face. "No! I can't just let you leave!" He too began to have his eyes well up. "Leave me alone" you whispered coldly. "Y/N please, I'll make it up to you" he begged. "I hate you" you whispered "no, please don't say that" his normally deep, solid voice cracked. "I'm going Alec, there's nothing you can say to stop me, this is what happens when you put your laws and anger before your loved ones" you snapped using your finger to signal your current situation.

You zipped up your bag and moved to exit the room, before you could Alec called your name. "What" you said, turning around for the last time, tears blurring your vision. "If you leave, don't bother coming back" he said coldly, as a last resort to get you to stay, thinking maybe it would make you want to turn and run back into his arms. But no, it pushed you even further away. You shook your head and forced out a laugh, before turning and walking away. You didn't bother to say a word to anyone else, you knew it would hurt too much.

As you stepped out of the front doors, the cool night air pricked your skin, you turned around and stared at the large beautiful building in front of you for one last time. The moonlight was the only thing lighting the area. As you turned around, you felt a force quickly running up next to you, sweeping you off your feet and keeping you high off the ground. You knew those arms anywhere. "Alec put me down!" You screamed. Of course, he didn't listen.

ou began pounding on his chest as he carried you and your bag up the stairs and back towards the entrance of the institute. You were unable to get out of his tight hold on your body. "Alec please, please, let me go" you whispered, breaking down into tears yet again. He slowly put you down, and your knees went weak, causing you to drop to the ground, sliding down the side of the building. Alec caught you just in time, kneeling down with you.

"I need to go" you began to repeat, all while clinging to his chest. You didn't know what you wanted anymore. "I'm sorry Y/N, but i can't let you do that. I know I hurt you, I'll make it up to you, it'll never happen again, but I can't live without you" he whispered. This only made you cling to him more, you wanted to feel that warmth and feeling of being wanted, being needed.

"I'm sorry I ever made you feel that way" he started again. "You crushed me Alec" you whimpered. "I'm sorry my love, never again" he whispered. "You made me feel worthless, like I didn't belong, like I wasn't needed" you sobbed. "I'm so sorry Y/N, and I promise you, I'll make it up to you" he said with desperation in his eyes. "I love you" he finished. You say in silence for a few moments, just staring into his eyes, collecting yourself. His strong gaze always made you feel safe. "I love you too Alexander" you whisper as confidently as you could, since your voice was weak from crying. "Never doing this to you again mí amor, never again" he whispered soothingly.