American Woman: Book 3

Chapter 74

"Are you feeling any better?" I asked Prince as he finished his breakfast in bed.
"Yeah a little. Sorry I've put a damper on our last day alone together." He sighed.
"You haven't. If you want to just lay in bed all day that's totally fine with me. I just want you to feel better. Maybe I shouldn't have brought the wine."
"No. I just shouldn't have gone overboard. I don't even know why I did. That's not like me." He pondered aloud.
"You were nervous about Devon..."
"You think that's why?"
"Yeah. It's really pretty sweet." I giggled. "You two definitely already have a undeniable bond."
Prince grinned from ear to ear as he laid down, pulling me down with him. "Thank you momma. Thank you for giving me my precious baby. I truly didn't know love like this even existed. And love like between me and you. I never knew that was possible either. I don't want to even think about where I might be right now if I'd never met you. Probably not in a good place, and certainly not as happy as I am now."
"I feel the same way. I couldn't have handled what life has thrown at me if I didn't have you to lean on for support and love. I couldn't imagine how lonely I would feel without you and Devon. I'm afraid I would be in a really bad place too. I think we are definitely each other's saving grace. God knew what he was doing when he placed us in each other's lives that's for sure."
"Not that you could have convinced either one of us of that when we first met. I know you hated me but I wasn't real fond of you either...."
"Only bc I beat you at pool. That's when your hate started..."
"That was the first day I met you!" He laughed.
"Oh yeah!" I chuckled. "Well I hated you from the first moment. As soon as you said "watch it" or whatever smart ass comment when I fell out of the chair, and then you assumed I was the help." I say, rolling my eyes at the memory.
"I just didn't think Lenny could get a woman that fine..."
"Shut up! It was the opposite! You didn't think I looked good enough to be the girlfriend or wife so I must be an employee."
"Honestly baby I didn't even look at you. I just saw someone fall out of the makeup chair and assumed it was his makeup or hair girl. Then you raised up and I saw your face. Thats why I didn't speak for a few minutes bc your beauty took my breath away." He explained while rubbing his hand up and down my back.
"Is that true? I do remember you going mute..."
"Yep! I knew immediately you were the girl Lenny had talked incessantly about the summer before when I saw him. And I was immediately jealous of him. And I don't ever get jealous of other peoples' relationships!" He exclaimed.
"Come on baby. You were with Mayte and she is gorgeous..."
"I was actually with about three women at the time." He corrected me.
"Lord! Ok well see you could have had anyone..."
"I didn't want just anyone. I wanted what Lenny had described you as to me, and then I saw you and didn't know a woman could have both...the personality I was desiring AND the looks. And I did have half the mind to try to steal you from him bc he and I weren't THAT close at the time. But then y'all came over and I saw how in love y'all were and I couldn't do it. Then you beat me at pool and my crush faded a bit and turned to slight hate." He chuckled.
"I kinda miss those days in a way...." I sighed. Prince looks up at me in bewilderment.
"Not that I wish we were still with Lenny and Mayte. But once the four of us became so close it was some of the best times of my life. I just never had and haven't had friends like that since then. That's the part I miss, the friendship we all had before everything got so complicated. I don't think any friendships or relationships could have survived the things we all went through."
"I miss it too. I feel horrible admitting this, but I didn't want Lenny to get better in rehab. I mean I was torn at first bc I was starting to have feelings for you. I wanted him to get better so you weren't so miserable bc I felt bad for you. However once I saw that you didn't seem to be as in love with him as you were in the past and I didn't see the bond between y'all anymore I just wanted him to fuck it up. I know it's wrong but I wanted a chance to make you happy." He sighed, obviously struggling with the fact that he had wished for my marriage to implode.
"I secretly wanted it too. I was so ready for him to go to rehab, but deep down I just wanted to be away from him and I wanted to be alone with you. But then he seemed to be getting better and so I tried to push my developing feelings for you aside. But they only grew stronger the more time I spent with you. And of course he never got better! I just wish all the turmoil could have been left out of our coming together."
"But if it wouldn't have happened the way it did, we wouldn't have wound up together babe. And there would be no Devon."
"I know. That's why I said God knew what he was doing. As much as I despise Lenny, he did lead me to you. Without him, you and I never would have met."
"I'm not so sure about that momma. We were destined for each other. We would have found each other somehow. With or without Lenny."
I smiled at that thought. "Hmmmm how else could we have met?" I wondered, wanting him to role play with me.
"We could have met at one of my concerts. Surely you would have come to see me live at some point. And I would have spotted you in the crowd and thought 'there's my future wife.' And I would have brought you up on stage..."
"And then saw that I couldn't dance and kicked me off the stage." I interjected into his fantasy.
"Hmmmm that's possible!" He chuckled. "Ok well maybe you would have gotten a teaching job in Chanhassen..."
"I lived in LA. What would have brought me to Chanhassen to teach?!" I interrupt.
"Grrrr!!! Ok maybe you would have been teaching in LA and I came to the school..."
"Bc you do that so often..." I rolled my eyes.
"Would you shut up?!!! Ok I would have been in LA, bc I do actually live there sometimes, and we ran into each other somewhere..."
"Where?! I doubt we would frequent the same places."
"I don't know Jensen. We would have met at a restaurant or something."
"How?!!!"
"We would have both been there for dinner and made our way to the bathroom at the same time and bumped into each other and then we gazed into each other's eyes and fell in love. Happily ever after. The end." He rushed out before I could get a word in edgewise.
"That was lame!" I pout.
"Well you shot all the other scenarios down! The point is we would have met. It was fate. We are soulmates. Now kiss me." He demands, pulling me to his face and capturing my lips. I slipped my tongue passed his luscious puckers and into his warm, inviting mouth. He tangles his tongue with mine and then bites my bottom lip, pulling it back and sucking on it lightly. Then he releases his hold letting my lip snap back in place and stares deeply into my eyes. His orbs were a mix of passion, lust, and pure love, turning me on instantly. I started to take off my robe and he grabbed my hand to stop me. "Oh God Jensen, I have to tell you something." He whispered.
"Ok." I giggled, wondering what silly thing he was about to say. "Tell me baby."
"I should have admitted this to you a long time ago..." he stuttered out.
Still not alarmed in the least, I respond "so tell me now." And I lean in to try to work on his neck while listening.
"No. Stop." He commands, pulling me away. I now saw the true worry in his face.
A little more scared now, I begin to caress his cheeks. "Honey you can tell me anything."
"I-I-I did something bad. Something wrong. Something I regret and have felt bad about for a long time." He chokes out.
"What?" I say, my voice shaking. "And why are you bringing it up now?" I ask in a pathetic attempt to try to get him to not even tell me. I was too happy. I didn't want anything to ruin it. I was almost taking the attitude of what I didn't know wouldn't hurt me. That's how desperately I didn't want to know anything that may damage our relationship. I would rather live in ignorant bliss.
"Bc we were talking about fate bringing us together. I-I-I kinda...well I sort of..." he stammered, looking down at the bed.
"Stop beating around the bush. What did you do?!" I shriek, tears burning my eyes.
"I'm scared to tell you ok?!" He said in a slightly raised voice.
"Well then you should have just kept it to yourself but too late now, so just say it!"
I urged in frustration.
"I sabotaged your and Lenny's marriage. I'm sorry! I should have just let God do His thing. But I so desperately wanted you for myself. I couldn't be patient enough for fate to run its course. I helped it along some, and I'm truly ashamed. I hope you can forgive me." He finally looked up at me, guilt all over his face.
"What are you talking about? I'm confused. You had nothing to do with our breakup. I mean I was in love with you and trying to deny it, even to myself, but that wasn't the main factor. We would have divorced even if I wasn't in love with you. I don't understand..."
"I did everything in my power to make sure he didn't get better. To make it impossible for y'all to rekindle anything once you left here after he busted out of rehab. I just wish I would have let it play out on its own. I think it all would have happened the same, and I wouldn't have the guilt."
"I still don't get it. What did you do?" I asked, taking his face in my hands and forcing him to look me in the eyes.
"Well I know Craig, his guitarist, pretty well..."
"I hate that guy. I think he's who Lenny first got the weed from." I interrupt.
"I can almost guarantee that. I used the fact that I knew he was a pothead and dirtbag to my advantage. I would call him up and 'check in' on Lenny. Just to make sure he was still smoking pot and drinking. And one time when Craig said he thought Lenny was trying to quit again, I pretty much told him to keep offering stuff to him..."
"You what?!" I exclaimed.
"I know. It was wrong! I just wanted you to leave him. I wanted you to come running to me. I also told Craig to parade women around in front of Lenny. I don't know if Lenny ever gave into temptation. I honestly don't think so. Craig never said he did and I didn't ask. I just wanted the possibility of him cheating to come up." He admitted solemnly.
I took a deep breath to let all the information sink in. "Well I can't say I'm not a little stunned but I'm not mad." I replied and could see the relief rush over his face. "Whether or not you would have done that, Lenny made his own choices and I made mine. But that wasn't very cool of you. At all." I say sternly, but also with a slight smile imagining a lovesick, desperate Prince making constant calls to Craig.
"I know it was wrong. I knew it at the time. You just wouldn't hear me out or answer my calls or respond to my letters, and I was going mad thinking y'all may be working it out. I knew you weren't happy and I knew I could love you better than he ever could." He tried to reason. "But I swear when y'all came the next summer and you admitted you had feelings for me but didn't want to be with me, I stopped. I didn't dig around anymore. I tried to accept that you didn't want to be with me even without Lenny. I was crushed! I about lost my shit when I walked in on y'all making out backstage before the New Years Eve concert. If you wouldn't have gotten on that plane that night, I'm honestly not sure what I would have done when I got home. I was that low."
"Really? I didn't get that vibe at all. You actually seemed happy for me."
"I was happy that you had graduated and for all your success in that area, but I was heartbroken that you seemed to have mended your marriage. So I put on a poker face bc I wasn't going to allow myself to try to manipulate the situation again." He explained.
"What you did wasn't right, but you already know that. So you don't need to keep beating yourself up for it. We would have found our way to each other with or without your meddling. I wanted to be with you before you even did that. It just wasn't the right time. But I don't want to rehash the past. We are in such a great place. And we have the most beautiful child. Everything worked out the way it was supposed to, and I couldn't be happier about it." I smiled, untying my robe. "Now where were we..."