♡Brendon♡
I completely forgot that withdrawals were a thing when I flushed every last bag of coke I had down the toilet a few days ago.
I've been throwing up almost every half hour and if I haven't eaten anything, I dry heave until I cry.
Dallon has been fucking great through this though. He's been checking my temperature and making sure I have enough blankets as often as he can.
He's even surviving the nastiest mood swings I've ever had. I can tell that some of the things I say hurt him and as soon as my temper tantrum ends, I apologize profusely to which he says that it's fine.
He's so patient with me.
I love him.
I always have so this really isn't a surprise but I do love him.
He's helped me so much.
I want nothing more than an eight ball of coke right now though.
I will feel horrible about it when I see Dallon next but he doesn't have to know.
"There's food in the fridge and Advil on the counter. Call me if you need me, Okay? He says from the door to the guest room.
"I'll be okay Dal." I'll be okay when I'm high.
"Okay. I'll see you after work." He says as he walks over to the bed and runs his fingers through my hair before kissing my forehead.
That made me remember when I broke my arm and got sick in high school and Dallon came over and sang me to sleep.
I really wasn't asleep though and I can remember him kissing my warm forehead. Out of all of the memories I have of him, that one stands out to me.
I think that's when I realized that he loves me back.
He showed affection to me even if I wasn't able to show it back. He didn't care.
I felt so loved at that moment because I realized that he felt that same way about me as I did to him and that was all I ever wanted in life.
As soon as I hear the door close, I get out of bed and change out of my sweatpants and baggy hoodie into black jeans and a random band t-shirt.
The guilt just seems to keep building up as I slip on my black converse and look in the mirror by the front door.
I look like absolute shit right now. I'm paler than a sheet of paper and the bags under my eyes stand out as much as ink in clean water.
I'm going to be normal again soon. This will be the last time Lindsey and I get together and that is a definite promise to myself.
I slowly make my way out of the apartment building and the sunlight blinds me a bit.
I get into my car and drive into the shady part of town and end up in front of Lindsey Ballato's house.
I saw Gerard Way here once and I pretty much walked straight out of the house before he could see me.
I never saw him in the house after that though which leads me to believe Frank caught him before his drug issues could get too bad.
I walk in to see Jamia curled up on the couch, high out of her mind, and I could hear Lindsey humming from the kitchen.
I go there to find her making food and as soon as she sees me standing there, she drops everything and hugs me tightly.
"You have no idea how worried I was about you Bren! We thought you died!" She yells as she examines my face. "Where have you been?"
"I-uh, I've been trying to get clean." I stutter slightly. I've never told her when I've told my loved ones that I wanted to stop taking drugs because that's kind of a weird thing to talk about with your drug dealer even if you are friends.
"Then why are you here sweety? I love having you around, don't get me wrong but I'd feel bad for ruining this for you and Sarah. You've told me how much she hates it when you get high." Lindsey pouts.
"We're getting a divorce Linds." I say and she hugs me again.
"Are you quitting to get back with her?" She asks as she lets go of me.
"No, I was trying to quit for someone else." I mumble quietly.
"Who?!" She yells and Jamia groans from the living room.
"Sorry baby!" Lindsey shouts which gets yet another groan from Jamia.
"Do you remember me telling you about Dallon Weekes?" I ask and she nods.
"It was the first time you actually hung out here. We stayed up until like three and you told me everything." She says and I nod.
"Well, uh, he found out about my addiction and he's been helping me a lot. I don't know if we're together yet but he gave me a killer blowjob." I say and Lindsey laughs.
"Look who's in love." She smiles.
I smile as well because I truly am in love with Dallon.
"I can tell you care about him so here's what you're gonna do. Leave this house and never come back. Call me whenever you wanna talk or hang out but never ever come to this side of town ever again. I'm not your drug dealer anymore and you aren't my client." She says as she looks into my eyes and plants her hands firmly on my shoulders.
"Thank you." I blurt out.
"What?" She asks with a confused look on her face.
"Thank you. I was going to get high today and it would have ruined everything, so thank you." I say as I feel tears well up in my eyes.
"I don't want to destroy your life anymore than I already have Bren. I really am proud of you." She says and hugs me.
This is really it.
My addiction is coming to an end and I couldn't be more excited for what comes next.
🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌹🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
8:33pm
A/N
Gn
🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌹🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
