Time to Survive

We're Fucked (Survive With Me)

  "Please don't be mad," I whispered into the darkness, my arm curling around her waist beneath the covers. "I'm sorry."

Kelsey sighed.

It was pitch black in this tiny, smothery room, and we only had a thin sheet pulled over us where we laid against the rather uncomfortable mattress; just because it was an antique didn't mean it was nice to lay on.

We'd been laying here a little while, but I couldn't sleep.

I felt worse.

And so I'd rolled over onto my side, pulling her body against mine, wanting to make sure she was still there.

"I'm not mad," she murmured after a moment, her hand covering mine where it rested against her stomach. "I shouldn't have been so... I should understand more."

"That's not your fault," I muttered, resting my chin on her head. "None of this is your fault."

"It's not yours either."

"I guess."

"No, Chris, I'm serious. None of this is your fault. Did you start the apocalypse?"

"Er, no ---."

"Did you decide that some random fucking disease should pop out of nowhere and turn everyone into deaders?"

"No, but ---."

"Did you decide to burn our house down?"

"No," I sighed.

"Then none of this is your fault, you can't help it." She huffed, and she was shifting. She sat up, and I hesitated, my eyes rising despite I couldn't see anything. I heard a flick, and then a few bursts of light before the candle at her bedside suddenly came to life. She tossed the lighter down before turning around to face me, her eyes serious.

"I don't want you to ever blame yourself for anything, do you hear me?" She muttered, reaching over to caress my cheek. "Ever."

How could I not?

"All I want you to do, Chris, is survive with me," she said after a moment, leaning down to press her soft lips against mine. "Is to not leave me like everyone else has. Just live. Live with me, okay?" Her voice was kind of tight at the end.

"Okay," I whispered, kissing her back. I hesitated, then let my fingers curl into her slick hair, her words running through my mind.

Survive with her.

I could survive as long as she did.

She sighed after a moment, and her cheeks pinkened as she leaned away from me, looking a little regretful.

"What is it?" I asked, hesitating suddenly.

"I... fuck," she flicked her hair out of her eyes. "I can't do it yet."

"You can't... do what?" What the hell was she talking about? I stared at her in confusion as I rose to my elbows, blinking.

She flushed.

"I, well," she looked embarrassed. "We're in a relatively safe bed, and I can't sleep with you right now. And I really, really want too," she grumbled, leaning forward to kiss my neck. "God do I want too."

Oh.

My lips twitched, and I chuckled, letting my hands close over her waist.

"Give it a little more, you'll be ready," I sighed, enjoying the feel of her lips against my neck. My shoulder started to give, so I quickly laid back against the bed, grimacing. "You don't need to risk it, not after what happened."

I couldn't handle the thought of her bleeding out.

She grumbled something against my neck again before leaning up, annoyed.

"This is so not okay," she huffed, letting her head rest on my chest, her arm stretching forward across my stomach. "I'm filing a complaint."

My lips twitched. "Can I file with you?"

She chuckled, snuggling closer against me, the silence between us no longer tense. I was relieved, I hated to think she was upset with me.

I let my eyes start to drift close, feeling even more tired now then I had in the beginning.

"Blow out the candle, will you?"

"Do I have too?"

"Yes."

Kelsey sighed, and then leaned up quickly, blowing out the candle and sending us back into darkness. She laid back down, and I wrapped my arms tightly around her, not caring that it was hot already, or that we both needed a shower two weeks ago.

None of that mattered anymore.

I just wanted to hold her and make sure she was still here.

That I hadn't dropped her.

I shuddered, my mind trying to draw me back into that pit, and I felt her arms slip around my back, fingers lightly tracing circles against my skin.

"I got you, Chris," she whispered against my chest. "I won't let go, I promise. You're going to be fine..."

I hoped she was right.

Because this guilt was almost too much.





"Fuck, there's nothing!" Ryan complained loudly, and I winced as he kicked a box in frustration, sending its contents spiraling across the apartment floor.

"Quiet!" I hissed, glancing nervously toward the door. We'd all separated off into groups with orders to reunite at the museum again. I'd gotten stuck with Ryan, as usual. We were off scavenging some of the nearby apartment buildings, but at this point, most everything had been picked through by any survivors that had come this way.

I was nervous about leaving Chris with Kuza, worried he would say something and then tell his friend everything about what had happened. I wanted nothing more then to get back to him and make sure he was still mentally intact.

He was too shaky right now, and it was freaking me the hell out.
]
He'd never been like this before and I didn't know what to do.

"There's fucking nothing here, and we've already gone through like four apartments," Ryan snapped, pacing towards the open window. "You bitches are going to starve at this rate."

"It's fine, we'll just check another one," I muttered, rubbing my arms. I was tired, and though I'd been up for hopping through windows and climbing yesterday, I wasn't today. My legs were trembling, and I was trying to hide it by kneeling down and searching the floor for things.

But I hadn't been about to say no to Kuza when he'd told me and Ryan to scavenge, I didn't want them to think I was still too weak to hold my part of the group up. Chris had just looked at me, eerily quiet and not arguing this time, which I think had surprised everyone.

But our talk last night, maybe it had helped.

He just needed to survive with me.

I sighed, and then forced myself to my feet, grasping tightly onto the back of the couch. My stomach wanted to rumble, I hadnt had anything to eat today, and neither had Ryan.
"How are you doing?" I asked after a moment, my eyes flicking over to him. I think I was about the only one of his friends who could actually look at him now without having a mask of pity.

"I'm fine," he muttered, glancing back at me. "And I can hear your stomach rumbling. I know you're hungry."

I flushed.

"We'll find something, I know we will," I looked over toward the door. "We just need to ---."

My legs went out abruptly.

I gasped as I went down, falling hard onto my hands and knees, pain spiraling up my palms.

"Kelsey!"

Dammit!

"I'm fine," I Muttered, leaning heavily onto my hip, pressing my back against the couch.
"What the fuck, no you're not!" He was suddenly at my side, kneeling down beside me. His eyes went to my legs immediately, and he sniffed.

"You're bleeding," He muttered, and I frowned, looking down at my bandages.

"I must have scraped it or something," I mumbled, seeing the red starting to seep through the bandages around my thigh, soaking through my pale-colored shorts as well.

"You shouldn't even be out here, should you?" He scowled at me, propping his arm on his knee. "You're not up for Iit, Chris was right."

"Don't you fucking side with Chris!" I huffed, glaring at him. "he's not right, either."

"He's completely right. He knows your body better then the rest of us."

I frowned; I wasn't sure how to take that.

"Here, let's get you some new bandages real quick." Ryan sighed. "Since we're not doing anything else."

"Fine."

I tugged on the hem of my shorts, rolling them until they were at the bend of my leg, and I slowly began unraveling the graying bandages, flinching as I peeled them off, some of my skin going with them.

"Stop drooling, Ryan."

"I'm not," he sounded offended as his eyes flicked to mine, but he couldn't pretend that he hadn't licked his lips when he'd seen my mottled skin; I shuddered.

It was incredibly sickening.

He sent me another look, his yellow, bony hands forcing my thighs farther apart so he could begin wrapping my wound again, applying a more then fair amount of cream beforehand. I winced, leaning my head against the couch, sighing.

This was stupid.

I shouldn't be so weak.

"Stop beating yourself up for being hurt, Kelsey," Ryan said after a moment, tying the bandages off. "Can you walk?"

"Probably."

Ryan stood slowly, then offered his hand, and I took it gratefully, glad he was there to help me up. I ground my teeth, able to feel the muscles in his hand against mine, barely enough skin there to even pad his bones anymore.

I leaned back against the couch as soon as I could, and then hastily rolled down my shorts, grimacing when I saw the heavy red patch there that was so noticeable I knew Chris wouldn't be able to miss it.

He would bitch.

"We'll rest in here for a few minutes, until you get your strength up," Ryan informed me, shuffling through his pack. "Here, eat this."

I glanced over, seeing he was offering me a pack of graham crackers.

"Where did you get those?" I asked, taking it from him quickly.

"Had it. I wanted to make smores sometime when we were out at the house, but I could never find any marshmallows," he sighed, shrugging his shoulders. "Now they gotta get eaten before they go bad. Eat your fill of them."

That was nice.

I didn't hesitate, ripping the package open and quickly taking a bite out of them, groaning as their still fresh honey taste hit my mouth.

They tasted amazing.

"Wow, you really like graham crackers," Ryan chuckled, moving back towards the window, gazing out at what was left of the city.

I flushed, but didn't answer, eating one entire block before my mouth went completely dry. I grimaced, quickly grabbing my bottle of water and taking a few sips out of it.

Much better.

"We'd better get going soon," I said after a few minutes. "It'll be getting dark soon."

"And we have nothing to show for our scavenging," Ryan muttered, looking frustrated. "Everything's already been picked through. let's hope the others have had better luck."

"I'm sure they have," I said quickly, rolling the package up quickly. "Here."

"Nah, you keep 'em."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm not exactly going to be eating graham crackers any time soon, am I?"

True.

I shrugged, then tucked them into my pack, pushing away from the couch. My legs wobbled, but they would hold me, so I motioned him after me as I started for the apartment door.

I sighed as I stepped to the door, and paused for a moment, listening. When I didn't hear anything, I pulled it open. I popped my head into the hallway, and motioned Ryan forward. We walked quickly to the next few apartments, but we barely found anything in them, not enough that was even worth bragging over.

I sighed as we walked down to the stairwell door.

"We have to find something," Ryan muttered, looking unhappy as he walked beside me. "We can't go back with nothing."

It wasn't looking like we had a choice.

Ryan sighed, wrapping his hand around the handle to the stairwell door and tugging it open.
This apartment building was pretty tall, and we were still on the top floor. We'd come in through the roof exit, and I was pretty sure we'd gone through every apartment on this floor.

It was kind of discouraging.

"Ryan," I started with a matching sigh as I stepped behind him --- and rammed into his back.
"Run!" he gasped, shoving me backward so hard I almost fell. I staggered, my shoulder ramming into the wall just as he turned, slamming the stairwell door shut.

Seconds later, it started moving, and I could hear them, moaning and grunting, throwing their decaying bodies against the door.

"Run!" Ryan hissed at me again, doing his best to keep it closed. "To the roof, now!"

"But you ---."

"Get fucking going!" he snarled at me, yellow eyes flashing to my face. "I can't hold the door long!"

Right.

I nodded, and took off, sprinting for the door to the roof as quickly as my legs would let me. I heard Ryan shout something just as I heard the door give an awful groan, but I didn't dare look back, I couldn't risk it.

Door door door!

I rammed into the door so hard I almost knocked the breath out of myself, and I didn't even look back as I jerked it open, sunlight streaming into the dark.

I looked back.

I couldn't see Ryan at all.

All I could see was the dead staggering toward me, their grunts filling the hallway, literal bones reaching out for me.

Where was Ryan!?

I let my eyes flick through the mass, but I couldn't find him, and I couldn't wait any longer
.
Dammit!

I shut the door behind me.

I turned, almost crawling up the steep steps, my hands having to help me make it out of the crevice, and I staggered several feet onto the rooftop. My eyes flicked over to the fire escape.
It was how we'd come up from the other building.

I started for it immediately, my legs trembling dangerously. I weaved back and forth, but I made it, my fingers wrapping around the hot iron.

Where was Ryan?

Had the deaders got him? I hadn't heard him scream or anything --- had he slipped into one of the apartments in time?

Fuck!

We weren't supposed to get separated!

I glanced back at the dip in the roof where the door disappeared.

The door was a pull in, and the deaders would be throwing themselves against it instead of pulling, so I had some time.

I looked down over the fire escape, my eyes scanning all the windows below. I didn't see Ryan hanging out of any of them, letting me know he was alive. Was he on the other side?

I wasn't sure my legs would take me there.

Fuck! Now was not the time to be so weak!

"Fuck it." I whirled around, and forced my legs to carry me over to the other side. I slammed against the ledge, curling my fingers around the brick as I leaned over, looking again.

"Ryan!" I breathed in relief, staring down at him where he leaned backward out of a window, trying to figure out how to climb up from the looks of it. He flashed me a relieved expression when he saw me.

"You made it!"

"Yeah! Do you need help?"

"I can't climb the fucking wall, I'm not spiderman, yes I need help."

Attitude.

I frowned down at him, and glanced back nervously as I heard the pounding on the door intensify.

We didnt have long before the deaders broke through out of sheer amount of bodies.

"Is there ---- anything you can toss up?" I demanded, leaning forward. "Like rope or curtain or anything?"

"Lemme look."

He disappeared from view, and I glanced back again, anxiously tapping my fingers against the building as I waited.

Maybe this had been a bad idea; my legs really werent ready yet, and if we needed to run, I wasn't sure I would be able to do it.

Fuck!

"Ryan!" I called, my nerves starting to get the best of me.

"Dammit!" I heard something crash, and then his bald head popped out the window, his beanie almost falling off. "I can't find anything, Kelsey! I'm fucking stuck!"

"You're not stuck!" I huffed, chewing my lip thoughtfully. "Stay there, okay? Be safe, I'll see if I can't find some clothes line or something around here. I"ll be back in a few minutes."

"Fine, be careful!"

Right.

Be careful during the zombie apocalypse, no biggie.

I grumbled under my breath as I trotted over to the firescape, quickly climbing down it and jumping over to the other building, my foot narrowly landing on the edge. I wobbled, falling hard to my knees.

Dammit!

I gritted my teeth, then forced myself back to my feet, staggering a few steps but getting steady.

Right, let's go.

I let my eyes flick about the roof, and then trotted over to where I'd seen the clothes line set up on the persons balcony. It was on the front of the street, but I was pretty sure I could drop down from the roof and land relatively safely on it --- just pray there wasn't any deaders in that apartment, of course.

And that the balcony didn't give out, either.

Right.

I let my pack drop off of my shoulders onto the roof; I didn't need its weight keeping me down when I needed to climb back up. I quickly swung myself over the ledge, taking a deep breath before I let go. I landed hard on the balcony, immediately toppling over and knocking a potted plant off. I flinched as I heard it shatter down below.

Graceful.

So graceful.

And fucking ow!

I glanced down at my knee, and winced, rolling over onto my hips.

Great, I'd skint it up pretty bad.

And my bandages were above me.

Genius Kelsey strikes again.

My eyes flicked to the balcony doors, and I saw a rotting face suddenly press against it, nails raking down as it tried to get to me.

Ew.

I frowned, then forced myself to my feet, limping over to the railing and quickly grabbing what I assumed had once been used as a clothes line to reach to the other side of the street, and now was just dangling. I rolled it up on my hand, praying it would be strong enough to hold Ryans weight so he could climb up.

And that it was long enough.

I glanced down as I heard more deaders start through the street, drawn by the shattering of the dead plant I'd knocked off.

There sure was a lot....

San Francisco was as dangerous as L.A., and we didn't know it as well, either.

Was there even survivors here?

Anyone left?

I suddenly heard my radio go off.

My head jerked, and I looked up, hearing it give one long peel before cutting off, and I cursed.

Why did I even have the radio again? Ryan was the one who was supposed too!

And the guys would start freaking out if I didn't answer pretty quickly, and they would head this way.

Dammit!

I gritted my teeth, and then forced myself on top of some of the balcony furniture, it giving me enough height where I could step up on the balcony railing and then continue climbing up, using the gutter to help hold some of my weight. I rolled hastily over the ledge, almost crawling for my pack when I finally got to the roof.

I fumbled through it, my hands feeling a little numb for some reason.

I finally found the radio, shoved between folds of clothes and graham crackers, and keyed it back quickly, aware I was several minutes past the deadline.

"Guys!" Kuza's voice crackled over immediatley, sounding relieved. "You okay?"

"Er, yeah, we're okay," I sighed, slipping my arms through my pack quickly. "Just hid a few bumps."

"What kind of bumps?" His voice was wary. "Do you need help?"

"Um... I dunno yet."

"You... don't know? Kelsey ---."

"Well, Ryans stuck in a window, okay, and I gotta find something to throw down to him? But we're fine, don't worry," I added quickly, stopping at the edge of the roof again, staring at the fire escape a few feet across from me.

"Are you sure you don't need help? Where are you guys?"

"At some apartment buildings about a mile south, just like you told us," I sighed, running my fingers through my hair, feeling like I was slowly baking; it was so hot today, and sweat was building in every possible place it could.

I knew I didn't smell wonderful as it was, but this was just making it worse.

"Well, we just made it back to the museum," Kuza sounded really tired, his crackling voice going in and out of range. "Probably about thirty minutes away from you guys. Want us to head over?"

"Umm," I honestly wasn't sure we needed them, I didn't want them coming all the way out for nothing. "Let me just get back to you on that. oh, how did you guys do, anyway?" I asked, curious.

"We did shitty. there's hardly anything to find around here. You?"

"Same. Everything's already been gone through."

We were so fucked.

I grimaced, and then tucked the radio in my pack, taking a few steps back before running forward, throwing myself onto the fire escape, hearing it give a sudden dangerous creak, and I heard a few popping sounds that made my stomach drop. I froze, but it didn't move, and I let my breath go slowly.

Okay, okay, don't freak out yet.

"Kelsey?" Kuza was suddenly calling my name, and I realized I he must have said something else. I grimaced, throwing my leg over the hot iron railing and landing unsteadily.

I didn't have time to talk to him constantly.

"Yes?" I sighed, taking the ladder as fast as I could manage, my legs starting to tremble.

"Look, we're heading over. Just in case you guys need us. What's the color of the building?"

"Tan and red, like everything else in this area. Lots of busted out windows, um," there wasn't really anything special about it that set it out from the rest. "You'll probably see us on the roof, any.

I finally reached the top, and I crawled over the edge, grimacing as I left a few specks of blood from my bleeding knee. I glanced nervously at the roof door, it suspiciously quiet now.

That was never a good sign.

"I'll talk to you guys later, gotta go," I burst, and shoved the radio in my pack without another thought. I heard Kuza's muffled voice reply something back, but I ignored it, leaning over the building to look down at the window Ryan had previously been hanging out of.

"Ryan?"

"Here!" His head popped out accordingly, looking a little relieved. "I was starting to think you'd abandoned me, tightass, what took so long?"

"Shut up," I huffed, unwinding the line from where I'd wrapped it around my wrist. "Appreciate I even worked this hard. Here." I let it drop into his waiting hands as he leaned backward out the window, making me worry a little bit more then he should have; if he let go too quickly, he'd tumble down into that alley, and ---.

"Can you tie it off to something?"

"Yeah, gimme a minute," I took a few steps back, letting the line unravel until I found a pipe jutting from the roof; it looked ancient, so I wasn't sure if it was just aesthetic or if it had actually had a purpose at one time. I tied the line around it, and flicked it, seeing it shake.

It better hold him.

"Okay, go!"

The line went taut.

I stepped back over to the edge, watching anxiously as he stood up from the window, a good jump and arms reach too low for me to even get him. He propped his foot on the top of the window sill, and then basically lurched upward.

I felt my stomach rise into my throat in panic.

I reached down thoughtlessly, grabbing his shoulders as soon as I could reach him, his fingers latching onto the ledge.

"Jeez, Kels," He wheezed as I practically drug him backward over the side, "calm down. it's not like we don't do death defying stunts like that every day."

"You're going to give me a heart attack!"

"You're going to give Chris one, so it equals out," Ryan merely shrugged, dusting at his muck-covered clothes like it would help. "What did you do to your knee? I can smell it from here."

"I skint it, fell onto a balcony." I sighed, running my hands through my thick, limp hair, grimacing as I felt some grime come off of it.

I needed a shower so bad it was sickening.

But when would we ever have the chance again?

I missed my house.

"The fire escape is kind of iffy," I mumbled, glancing over at where Kuza and Chris would hopefully be coming from. "It groaned when I last got on it. Kuza radioed, I need to call him back ---."

"Shh!" Ryans hand suddenly slapped over my mouth, and I tensed immediately, glaring at him.
His face darkened, and then I heard what he did, a soft clawing sound. And then a squeak, like door hinges.

What the fuck?

I don't know why, but both of us looked at the roof door, as if the deaders could really figure out to pull instead of push.

And yet, there one was, slowly crawling up the steps onto the roof, using its hands just like I had.

Did they just figure out how to open a door?

No no no, that wasn't possible --- purely good luck on their part, right?

Right?

Oh holy fuck!

The deader didn't have any eyes, but its head raised, moving in our direction as if it could see us anyway. Ryan stepped over in front of me, his arm rising protectively.

The dead grunted, turning toward us immediately, and I felt my entire body tense in panic.

Shit!

I slipped my hand back, fighting my aluminum bat out of its ties and finally getting it in front of me just as the deader got within a good swinging distance. However, Ryan merely shoved me to the side, dancing back a few steps and drawing the deader in his direction.

What was he doing?

He huffed, and then his hand curled around the deaders decaying arm, giving it a harsh tug and merely sending it off the side of the building. I heard it crunch as it hit the ground below, and I relaxed.

That had been easy.

"Let's get out of here before more show up," Ryan grunted, and I nodded, quickly following him across to the fire escape. My eyes flicked down to the rooftop door edgily, and I snagged the back of Ryans shirt in panic.

"The door's opening!" I gasped, and he turned, his gaze following mine as the first deader suddenly managed to squeeze through.

"Shit! Run!" He snapped, his hand latching around mine as we bolted across the roof, my legs burning at the sudden workout. I huffed, my feet landing hard on the metal of the fire escape as he basically shoved me off the roof like he had the deader.

He let go of my hand as he started to climb onto the fire escape.

And then it jerked, and shuddered, and abruptly began to peel away from the wall.

I gasped in surprise, my fingers latching around the iron railing best I could as the mass basically screeched its way off the wall, and my eyes went to Ryan where he still stood on the rooftop, a terrified look on his face.

He was left with the deaders!

And I was fucking going to crash!

I eeked as I felt the fire escape suddenly lean harshly, my mind not even having time to register terror as it crashed against the opposite building, and I felt a harsh, breath-taking pain as I went flying off, losing my grip.

I heard the sound of shattering glass before everything went black.