Time to Survive

Not All of Us Are Gonna Make It

I hefted Kelsey into my arms, ignoring her grimace as I lifted her off the back of the truck. She wanted to walk, but I wasn't about to let her, not with her still in so much pain. I'd be damned if I didn't do my best to take care of her right now; she always had with Me and the guys.

I felt her sigh, her arms curled around my neck lightly.

We'd left the driveway behind, all the supplies we could gather stuffed into the SUV that Kelsey rode in. Devin told me about her and Carols issue, do I wasn't about to let her anywhere near that woman while I was around. She rode with us, end of discussion.

We didnt have much left to even take with us, and our food was almost nonexistent. I had no fucking idea how we were all going to NOT starve to death, and I knew everyone else was worried about it too.

Our luck was starting to run out.

The fact we'd made it to the mill before dark was a miracle. Kuza had held the mostly torn fence - gate open for us to all drive the cars inside, and then me, him, and Ricky had cleared up the bodies we'd left behind.

The girls didn't need to see them.

And God did they smell rancid.

Why did we never think to get febreeze?

We'd cleaned up the upper level where we'd killed off the Fatman and what remained of his crew, and we'd thrown their bodies down the chute that lead to the furnace below.

I figured it was an appropriate resting place.

"You don't have to carry me," Kelsey mumbled, her face pressed against my shoulder as I walked across the concrete to the building. "I can walk, Chris."

"You don't need to walk, not yet," I grunted at her, hefting her a little higher in my arms as I started up the loud metal stairs, each step clanging. Ricky was waiting at the top, black circles under his eyes, soot still streaking his clothes and face where it hadn't washed off.

We'd stopped briefly at the river to try to clean up, but there was only so much you could do, and we didn't have a lot of time to spare either. We'd wanted to get here before the sun went down, and we'd just barely made it. Going anywhere in the dark where you couldn't see shit would only get you killed, and considering the ragged state of our group, that wouldn't be hard.

Why the fuck had those assholes had to ruin our house? It was the only place we'd had left, the only decent defense against the deaders when they got too close. We could have slept peacefully there, in our own beds, not on the hard ground or up against trees.

I already missed the couch.

"When we get upstairs, well fix your hair." I told Kelsey, the singed ends of her hair flicking in every which direction. I knew she was irritated, the bottom half still ragged and smelling crisp. I'd promised her we'd fix it when we found some scissors, and I was going to keep my word on that.

It might not be much, but I was trying.

I would make sure we made it, somehow.

"All of us need a trim," she responded, her voice still a little raspy, and her lips were still chapped, the skin flaking and splitting. We needed to find her something to put on them, she didn't need to suffer that too. She was somehow retaining a good attitude, at least, but I wasn't sure if she was just putting on a show since I'd... Well, broke down.

"What? You don't like my flowing locks?" Ricky scoffed at her from the top of the stairs, giving a tired smile as he held the hole-riddled door open for us to go inside. "I thought I looked fabulous."

"You look like a sheep dog," she rolled her eyes, her fingers flexing against my neck. "And my hair looks like fried onion rings."

"Don't talk about onion rings," Ryan groaned as he came up behind us, carrying mine and his pack. "I miss those!"

"I miss food in general," Kuza grumbled, shaking his head as I finally stepped into the old mill, careful where I stepped so I didn't fall through the floor. It wasn't in the best condition to begin with obviously, and it definitely wasn't getting any better during an apocalypse.

Kelsey didn't appear impressed, either.

I carried her over to where an old chair sat, carefully sitting her on the cold metal, wincing with her. Her eyes scanned the broken down room full of busted crates and probably generations of vermin. I could hear animals moving around in the rafters above us, even an occasional bird, despite how dark it was getting.

I sighed as I sat in the floor beside her, feeling my entire body ache. It was like even my bones were tired. I never wanted to get up again, or move, either. I would be content to just sit here for an eternity.

In the dark, apparently.

"Do we have any light?" I sighed, leaning back on my palms. "Or are we going to sit here in the dark?"

"I think we have a solar lantern," Devin mumbled, fumbling through a bag at his side and finally bringing the light out. It was small, hardly bigger then my palm, but at leaSt it was something.

He sat it in the middle of all of us, making all of our faces look ghastly in its weak light.

"Well this place doesn't look like something out of a horror movie," I heard Devin comment after a moment, glancing around the decrepit place.

"Are you telling me this isn't a horror movie?" Ryan snorted at him, sitting down heavily on one of the crates, his legs dangling off the edge. I let my eyes linger on him, seeing his arms looked a little discolored, dark splotches starting to overcome his skin.

The vague light from the lanterns only made it worse.

Fuck, we were losing Ryan.

It was like he was decomposing right in front of our eyes, but I wasn't sure if anyone else had noticed or not. His hair was falling out, teeth and eyes yellowing, and now his skin was starting to turn different shades...

I felt Kelseys hand slip through mine, and I raised my eyes to hers, feeling like I was sinking.

We kept struggling to survive, to keep going for another day, but...

Maybe it was time to stop trying?

All of this was for nothing anyway, wasn't it? Some of us wouldn't turn when bitten, but the others would. And then they would slowly die because we couldn't cure them.

We hadn't cured Ryan, we'd just prolonged his death. We hadn't done anything for him whatsoever but make his situation so much worse, even I could see that now. He was miserable, and he was trying to keep himself away from all of us. I knew he was hungry, that bite off that kids neck hadn't been enough to sate him for very long, and the rest of his food was rotting in the basement freezer. There was no way we could have made it into the basement, the entire second half of the house had collapsed on that side.

Maybe we could hunt?

Could he survive off that?

Or should we just finish him off now and save us the trouble?
God, how could I even think that? He was one of my best friends, and he was sick. He was dying, but he wasn't dead yet, and killing him would only make me feel like shit, make all of us feel that way. I just didn't want him to suffer, I didn't want any of us too anymore.

I was starting to understand suicide packs more now. Just finish everyone off before the horror could really begin.

"Stop thinking like that."

What?

I glanced over, seeing Kelsey was staring me down, glaring at me to be more specific.

"What?"

"I can see it all over your face, all those negative thoughts," she muttered, tugging on her hair. "And you need to stop it."

"Kelsey ---."

"I'm serious, Chris. Don't let it get to you right now, okay?" she mumbled, running her hands down her face. She looked as exhausted as I felt. "We just lost him, we don't.... We don't need any more...."

She couldn't finish.

Fuck.

"How about we cut your hair?" I asked, forcing myself to my feet, trying for a brighter tone. Any distraction would be greatly appreciated right now, even if it was cutting hair. "Get all the, er, bad parts off?"

"YOU want to cut my hair?" she looked up at me like she'd rather a deader do it.

"I can cut hair, it's not that hard," I frowned at her. "And it's just the ends."

"I think I'd rather let It grow out ," she said dryly, and I rolled my eyes.

"Don't be difficult."

It wouldn't look THAT bad when I was done.

"You'd make me.look like a poodle."

"How would I make you look like a poodle?" I rolled my eyes. "Don't be dramatic."

"Chris, my hair is curly. Do you seriously think you can cut it the same way you can straight hair?"

"....Yes."

Why couldnt you?

"Then I'm pretty sure I'll just wait," she waved her hand. "I'll put it up or something."

"I'll cut your hair in the morning," I heard Kylie sigh from across the room, and we looked back, seeing she was leaning against Devin, both of them illuminated by a lantern."Don't worry about it."

Kelsey looked relieved.

I wouldn't be that bad.

I frowned, but I wasn't going to argue about it.

"Today had been so shitty," I heard Ricky mutter, and I glanced back as I sat in the floor beside Kelseys chair, leaning my head against her hip. Her fingers drifted down into my hair, which I knew wasn't exactly the cleanest at this point, but she didn't seem to mind as she ran her fingers through it soothingly.

"I think you mean every day," Kuza yawned at him.

They were all huddled up between the open space the crates allowed, Kylie and Devin against one, arms thrown about each other. Ryan sat on top of one, the lantern light only reaching up about to his shoulders, and Ricky was curled up by himself, chin on his knees.

Kuza laid closer to where me and Kelsey did, using his pack as a pillow as he stared at the holes through the ceiling. Kera, who never spoke at all and was just more of a constant weight to lug along, sat as far away from all of us as she could get, curled up into a ball in the dark corner.

She didn't want to be near anyone.

All the rest of us were staying close to each other.

Thomas and his sisters had stepped into the managers office and shut the door. I could see their lantern light through the glass, and their separation from us only made me trust them less.

We couldn't stay with them, and they couldn't stay with us, either. Not when none of us trusted each other, and I knew if one of my group was in trouble they weren't going to risk their lives to help, where I knew we would for one of them.

Or at least I would.

"How fucked do you think we are?" Ricky asked after a moment, chewing on his lip. "I mean... Are we gonna make it?"

"Of course we are," Devin spoke immediately, staring Ricky down. "We've been surviving for months! A little bump here and there... It's not gonna stop us from going on."

"What about a little bite?" Ricky muttered.

It went quiet.

A little bite would definitely stop us.

"Don't think like that," I grunted, shaking my head. "We're gonna be fine, got it?"

"You can say that, you're fucking immune to all the bullshit," Ryan snapped, and my eyes flicked up to where he sat like a ghoul, his face and shoulders in darkness. "You don't have to worry about the infection."

"Don't snap at him, Ryan," Kuza's head turned, his gaze sharp. "You're the idiot who got bit. As long as we're careful and keep ourselves out of any life threatening situations, well be fine."

"You can say that too."

For fucks sake.

"Let's all get some sleep," I abruptly ordered, glancing at everyone. "We're tired and bitchy and snapping at each other isn't gonna cut it. Who's got first watch?"

"I'll take it," Kuza grunted, hefting himself up. "I won't be able to sleep. Here," he kicked his pack towards us. "Kels can use this as a pillow if she wants. It'll help keep her elevated enough where she won't aggravate her burns."

"Ku---."

"You're welcome," he waved his hand against her protest, and she sighed.

None of us said anything as we watched him disappear into the crates, which were set up like a maze up here. I heard the metal door clang, so I assumed he had stepped out onto the steps.

"Come on," I said after a moment, slipping Kelseys arm over mine. "Let's just get some sleep."

As if any of us could.

I helped Kelsey into the floor, her face whitening. She pressed her lips into a thin line, trying not to make any sound as she slid down the crate to the cold floor. Her fingers were clenched in my sleeve, and I hastily sat beside her; it was that or lose my shirt to her tight grip.

Ryan huffed before flipping onto his back on top of the crate, his legs still dangling off.

He was moody as fuck, but I would be too in his situation. I glanced at the others, seeing Devin turn off the lantern as we all settled, sending all of us into darkness.

I heard Kelsey shift, and then a slight sniffle before I felt her face against my thigh, and I let my hand rest on her shoulder, stroking her bare skin.

Her arm curled around my waist as she used me for a pillow instead of the pack, her face pressing against my stomach.

My poor girl.

She had been burned, beaten, and now was starving, but...
But she kept going.

I Wasnt Sure how, But She did. She kept going and she kept surviving, and I knew she would make it through this too. We just had to keep going, we just had to keep moving and eventually we would find another safe place.

We had to.

Because if we didn't, not all of us were going to make it through this.