I always hate thinking about how our bubbly energetic Brendon is gone but I have to learn to get used to the more serious, jaded version of him because that's who he is now.
We all change. He's just changed more than the rest of us.
♡Sarah♡
Ryan told me that Brendon is safe and I'm thanking the heavens.
I'm so happy Dallon found him. He got Brendon to flush is coke.
It seems like Brendon's life is really turning around and I'm excited to see what's next for him.
I will always love and care about Brendon, but it's better off this way. We're no good for each other and I understand that.
He never truly loved me as much as he loves Dallon and that hurts but I can still be happy for him.
God, I feel like I'm in high school again. Desperately trying to support him and be a good friend no matter how much it hurts.
I hope Brendon doesn't cheat on Dallon.
When Brendon came home that one morning and confessed to what he had done as the tears rolled down his red cheeks, I had truly given up on our marriage.
I stayed with him though. I never felt the same way about him again but I stayed with him because he needed help.
He kept spending nights with other girls and it really got to a point where it hurt too much to know what he was doing and I couldn't take it anymore.
So I gave up on him.
He had too much love for just me, and that's the kindest way I can put it.
I really never gave him as much love as he gave me and I fell absolutely horrible for it. Maybe Brendon wouldn't be the way he is if I had never treated him like that.
I hope that Brendon has enough love to give to Dallon after me though.
With how he treats Brendon, Dallon deserves the world and I hope Brendon knows that too.
He probably does know that.
Brendon loves Dallon.
The love he has for him is the pure kind we all dream of but only a few are so lucky to have.
They'll go far together. I know they will.
Brendon was my world for a short period of time but now it's time to let him be someone else's.
I know I will always have a strong feeling of love and care towards him but I need to move on. I need to put my time and care into someone who has enough love for me too.
I'll find someone. I'm pretty optimistic about that but they will never be Brendon and I'm okay with it.
I don't want to go through heartbreak again. I can't.
I pet Penny Lane as she snuggles into my side.
She definitely misses Brendon.
She often cries at the door to his mini studio or runs around the house and finds things of his that I forgot to pack.
Brendon won't come back for us but that's okay. This is a new chapter in his life and I have to be okay with his decisions.
I still miss having someone in bed next to me when I go to bed at night though.
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12:47am
A/N
The last chapter literally took me three days to write and this one took me maybe half an hour
Wowie
(I MADE A NEW YT VIDEO. It's a cover of still into you. It kinda sucks bc I'm sick but it ya wanna check it out the link to my channel is in my bio)
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♡14♡
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