Dauntless life (sequel to Tris Pedrad)

Chapter 58

"Coming!" I call as I set Lincoln down in his bouncer. Carter has already gone to training this morning and I've decided it's time to clean the house. I open the door and see Blake and Benji. "Hey Blake."

"Hey Claire," he smiles and I motion for the two to come in. I lead them to the living room and we both sit down. Blake sets Benji on the floor and he goes straight for Ralph. Tucker just lays next to my chair and watches Benji crawl after the cat.

"What's up?" I ask as I move Lincoln's bouncer closer to him.

"Not much," he shrugs. "It's been awhile since we last talked."

"I know! Lincoln is a handful," I smile down at Lincoln.

"How old is he know?" Blake asks.

"One month," I tell him, "yet it already seems like one year."

"Once he starts to move," Blake starts with a chuckle. "It only feels like days passed instead of months."

"Benji is getting close to 11 months isn't he?" I ask as I watch the little boy crawl after an annoyed Ralph. Ralph is your typical cat. He likes to sleep, lay on your lap, and eat. That's really all he ever does.

"Yeah," Blake smiles at his son, "I'm just not looking for to him being a year old."

"Whys that?" I ask confused.

"Ellie wants to do one huge party," he sighs. "I suggested doing two. She has hers and I have mine. She didn't like that idea so much."

"Oh! How's Nevaeh?" I ask. I've been trying to see Nevaeh and K but Lincoln takes up most of my time. I'll invite her over once Blake leaves!

"She's good," Black smiles. "She likes to be stubborn. A lot of the time she only falls asleep if Robbie or Kim is holding her. If I were to she'd be crying all night."

"I can tell she's already like K," I chuckle.

"Definitely," he says, "poor Robbie."

""I've been saying that from the start," I joke and we both laugh. After a few seconds we both stop and he takes a deep breath.

"Ok Claire, you're probably going to hate me," Blake breaths out. I open my mouth to say something he beat me to it. "I really don't know how to say this, I'm not expecting anything to come from this I swear. I just need you to know, and I need to get it off my chest."

"Blake what are you talking about?" I ask and Benji crawls over to him.

"I know I broke up with you and I have no right to say any of this," he starts, "when you told me you started to date Carter I...I kind of didn't know how to react. You looked so happy and that's all I've ever wanted for you but then it brought back these.... feelings I guess. Back from when we used to date. I mean I remember how-"

"Blake," I say and look down at my folded hands in my lap.

"I really am I sorry Claire," he whispers and runs his hand through his hair. "I still love you and I wish for your sake I didn't. But I couldn't keep this to myself any longer. If you don't want to see me that's fine I completely understand, but please if you ever need help with anything, I'll be there."

"Blake I don't-"

"It's fine Claire," he says, "please don't say anything you don't want to or feel like you have to. I'm going to head out, Ellie gets Benji at lunch."

"Bye," I mutter as Blake picks up Benji and leaves.

I grab Lincoln out of his bouncer and hold him against my chest. This made me feel more confused than I ever have been. I pull my knees up and kiss the top of Lincoln's head. My eyes start to sting so I squeeze them shut and once I open them a tear drop falls on top of Lincoln's head. Then it doesn't stop, I try to turn my head to the side so my tears aren't landing on Lincoln's head. Why did he have to make things confusing? Of course I really like Carter, if I didn't why bother dating him? But Blake was also my first boyfriend, which is something you can't really forget. Damn boys. I hope my brothers don't confuse girls like this, it's terrible. I know he didn't mean to make me feel terrible but he couldn't really help it.

My phone starts to buzz and I pull it out of my pocket. Dad's calling me so I wipe off my cheeks quickly and take a deep breath. I accept the call and put the phone against my ear.

"Hi dad," I say, of course it comes choked out.

"You alright munchkin?" He asks.

"I'm fine," I say and I sound a lot better than I did at first, "what do you need?"

"Your mom was wondering if you could watch Dylan right now," he tells me, "the boys want to go to the basketball game at their school. Dylan won't sit still at the game."

"Yeah of course," I say and notice Lincoln wake up. "You can drop him off whenever."

"Thanks Munchkin," dad says, "probably around 4. Carter should be home soon. They decided to cut his training short."

"Thanks dad," I tell him, "Lincoln just woke up, I've got to go."

"Alright," he says, "I'll see you in a few hours."

"Bye dad," I say and hang up. I set my phone on the arm of the chair and look at Lincoln. His blue eyes are looking around and I smile. "You have the prettiest eyes."

He obviously doesn't understand what I just said but he stick his tongue out. I laugh and kiss his head. At least he isn't being cranky. Not really in the right mood to deal with a crying baby. He does start to move his arms so I hold him in front of me. His feet are resting on my stomach and he just looks at me.

"Please don't confuse me when you're older," I say and he just gurgles. "I love you Linc."

At least I know I love Lincoln. I don't know what boy means more to me though, Blake or Carter?

A/N Next is the epilogue😫😫 Who do you guys prefer?

Blake?
Carter?