You & I (Larry)

16.

-Harry's POV-

As Louis leads me to his car, leaving my car for a later date, in the parking lot of Sophia's flat, I feel anxiety take over my whole body. Am I ready to let Louis back in? Is this what I really want? These questions race through my mind as we get in and pull out of the parking space slowly.

"So?" Louis says, raising his eyebrow at me but keeping his eyes on the road.

"So what?" 

"Are you going to tell me what you've been trying to tell me?" 

"Oh... yeah..." I stutter out, tensing up.

He nods his head and waits for my response.

"Before I tell you anything, I want you to promise me something."

"Anything," Louis says, looking at me as we stop for a red light. The sun is starting to go down now, it's about 6 p.m., and we left the party much too early for any real fun to happen.

"Promise me you won't be mad."

"Okay..." He says hesitantly.

I already know Louis is going to be furious when he finds out why i've kept us apart for so long, and I don't want to face his wrath. It's a good reason in my point of view, but I know him too well and he won't understand my reasoning one bit.

"All I want from you is an apology, Louis. It's all I care about at this point."

"An apology? Harry, I told you I was sorry!"

"No, you didn't."

"Yes, I did!" Louis exclaimed, tapping the steering wheel impatiently.

"Don't you think I would remember if you told me you were sorry?"

"You don't want to be with me anymore, do you?" 

Is he serious right now? 

"I never said I didn't want to be with you," I defend.

"You didn't say you did either."

I can't believe he is being so stupid right now!

"It seems to me like you're the one who doesn't want to be with me anymore," I quip, a curt tone smacking Louis straight in the face.

"How could you say that? I love you, Harry! I've loved you since day one," He paused to breath, "And I'll love you till the day I die."

"How could you say that to me? I feel just as much love for you as you do for me. We're no different."

"I'm so sorry, Harry," Louis choked out, sniffiling.

I say nothing.

"You deserve better than me, and I'm a selfish bastard for keeping you to myself."

What?

"Louis, what are you saying?" I ask, looking at him as he parks in in front of my flat.

"I'm saying that you need to move on from me. I'm no good for you, and it's time you realize that. We both need to realize that."

"No good for me? Louis, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me!"

"Haz, please listen--" Louis tries.

"No, you listen! I need you in my life. Without you, I'm nothing," I say, Louis turning towards me in his chair.

Now it's on...

-Louis' POV-

"I'll still be in your life, just not in that way," I say, trying to disguise the disgust I feel inside for hurting Harry once again. But it had to be done, for his sake.

It's not that I don't want to be with Harry, because I do, more than anything in the whole entire world. I just can't let myself continue to break his heart. If I don't seperate myself from him, I'll surely ruin him.

"That's not for you to decide."

"Why do you keep fighting me on this?" I snap. He's making this so much harder than it already is, and it's ripping me apart inside even more every second he looks at me with his beautiful, pleading emerald eyes.

"Because i'm in love with you Louis! And i'll never be able to love someone as much as I love you again!"

"You could if you moved on!"

He shakes his head, smiling and laughing to himself in what seems to be disbelief. Looking back up, he looks like a fucking mad man.

"You're crazy." 

"Not crazy, just in love," He pauses, smiling at me fondly, "And i'll keep on finding reasons to love you until there are no more."

He's not going to give it up. Once he's got his mind set on something, there is no stopping him from what he wants to do.

"I really don't deserve you," I admit.

"You deserve the world, Lou," He says, gripping my bicep gently.

"Then I guess I have it."

He smiles, leaning in and pecking me on the lips softly. Not long and passionate, but short and bitter-sweet.

Is this toxic? Is this the right thing to do? It's hard to know when you're blinded with love like we clearly are. We're both crazy. And we'll keep finding reasons to be with eachother. Forever.