The Only Way Out [Book 2]

Chapter 61 - Because Of Me

A/N: Is everyone okay after the last chapter? Are y'all still my sisters? Do I need to remind you (again) that this book will have a happy ending? I do? Okay.

This book will have a happy ending...with a few bumps before we get there. 😬

***Bea's POV

"Beatrice, wake up, Love," Harry quietly says and I feel something cool on my forehead that makes me flinch. "C'mon, Baby, wake up."

Taking in a breath, I open my eyes to the living room ceiling and I realize I'm lying on the couch. My head and feet are propped up on pillows and I notice Harry kneeling beside me in my peripheral vision. I exhale deeply, fitting my eyes to his and he sighs in relief, but he still looks miserable.

"Oh thank God," he blows out a heavy breath, dropping his head to my arm. "You're okay."

No, I'm not okay. My son is gone. I'll never be okay.

"How long was I out for?" I ask and he looks up at me with teary eyes.

"Almost three minutes," he says, dabbing the cool washcloth on my cheeks then my neck. "This was the longest you've been passed out for that I can remember. My God, Bea, you had me so scared. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you t-" he chokes back his tears, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Please don't ever leave me."

"I won't," I mutter, drying his tear with my thumb. "Where's Ferris?"

"Upstairs with April," he takes my hand and kisses my fingers, keeping teary eye contact with me. "Our parents should be here soon. Do you want to freshen up?"

I nod, exhaling a heavy breath and Harry helps me to sit up straight on the couch. My whole body feels numb, my heart is shattered and I close my eyes, still hoping that this isn't real; that this indescribable pain will go away.

But I know it won't ever go away.

The seat next to me dips and I open my eyes just as Harry wraps his arms around me, embracing me in a hug. His touch is warm and comforting and I'm still praying to whatever god out there that this isn't real.

Dropping my head to his shoulder, I wrap my arms around my husband and I'm overcome with guilt. This is all my fault because I should've checked on our son sooner. If I had, then he would still be here with us.

Our beautiful baby boy is gone because of me.

"I never thought this would happen to us, Bea. I'm supposed to protect you and our kids, and I failed as your husband a-and Seb's father."

"What?" I gasp, not believing what I just heard and I lean back. "It is not your fault, Harry," I firmly say, cupping his cheeks to make him look at me. "You didn't fail, okay?"

He nods, closing his eyes and he rests his forehead on mine.

"I'm the one who failed," I admit and he leans back, giving me a confused look. "We were having a good day. Ferris was happy and I was doing better than I thought I would with both kids. I fed him his bottle and Ferris helped me burp him. After I changed his diaper, he started crying and oh my God, I can still hear him, Harry."

"Shhh, it's okay, Love, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

Good, because you'll hate me if I do.