Fame Crazy (Sequel to Strings Attached)

Chapter 31

"Going to school when you don't know what you're learning isn't helping anything. You, on the other hand, know exactly what you're doing, so you are going to school."

"But —"

"And if you sent Cain any inappropriate pictures, delete them from his messages, check his photos, and if he saved any, delete them from there and the recently deleted. And check the chats of anyone he's texted after you to make sure he didn't send them to other people because high school boys do that. Don't let him do it. Do it yourself, so you know it's done right."

Anna just glares at him before storming out of the house. Castiel rolls his eyes and turns back to Claire. "So, math time?"

~~

"And here, you see a wild Castiel in his natural habitat," Lucifer's soft voice comes from behind a wall later that day. "Being a nerd."

Castiel rolls his eyes and looks behind him to see what his strange older brother is doing now. His eyes find his phone in his brother's hand, the camera trained on Castiel and Claire at the table, doing math as promised. Castiel raises an eyebrow. "What are you doing?"

"No, we've been spotted!" Lucifer gasps. "Run before the wild Castiel kills us all!"

"I'm actually not really in the mood to kill someone right now," Castiel tells him. "Or, like, ever again."

"Sometimes, a Castiel will give you the illusion that you're safe, but it's never true," Lucifer whispers. "Never let your guard down near one, as this will most certainly result in your death."

"What are you even doing up right now?" Castiel asks. "It's only, like, eight thirty."

"Here, you see it try to distract me, hoping I'll let my guard down and it can pounce," Lucifer continues.

"I swear to god, Lucifer, if you're live streaming this..."

"That's very possible," Lucifer replies.

Castiel sighs, but he can't hide his amusement. "How'd you even get on my phone?"

"Gabe told me your password so I'd leave him and Sam alone," Lucifer replies. "And that's a really freaking obvious password."

"I meant to change it. I just didn't," Castiel admits. "Now shoo. I'm trying to do math."

"Lucifer, don't you dare leave!" Claire commands.

"What happened to the deal?" Castiel asks. "You stay home, we do math. Simple."

"We've been doing math for, like, two hours," she reminds him. "I'm all mathed out."

"An hour and a half and too bad."

"When a wild Castiel is annoyed, he will often reply in shorter sentences than usual," Lucifer spectates.

"Seriously, Luce, no one actually wants to watch this," Castiel tells him.

"I would," Lucifer replies confidently.

"Same," Claire adds.

"See? See, Castiel? How do you like me now?"

Castiel sighs and mouths 3... 2... 1...

"How do you like me now? Now that I'm on my way! Do you still think I'm crazy, standing here today?"

Castiel smacks his head on the table in emphasis of how ridiculous he finds Lucifer right now as the older boy finishes singing the chorus. Claire just stares at him uncomprehendingly.

"What the...?" she mutters.

"Ignore him," Castiel advises. "It's what I always do."

"I honestly don't know how you survived eighteen years with him," Claire tells him.

"Michael survived twenty-five," Castiel replies. "And they were in the same classes for all of elementary school. You think I have it bad? Feel bad for Michael."

Claire just looks at him wide eyed. "Dude. How?"

"Michael loves me," Lucifer says confidently.

From some room far away, Michael calls back, "Not at all!"

Lucifer gasps in exaggerated offense. "From my own brother... s... brothers... and Claire... Honestly, I'm actually sorta surprised at how many people that is. It doesn't seem like it."

"I'm just surprised Michael joined in," Claire replies. "I feel like he never talks."

"He talks to Lucifer," Castiel replies. "Like, all the time. More so that the rest of us."

"Well, don't you just feel special, Luce?" Claire says teasingly.

"Mm, yeah," Lucifer replies. "Mikey loves me!"

"Nope!" Michael calls back.

"Mikey hates me more than everyone else!" Lucifer amends as if it's a compliment.

"Nope!" Michael calls.

"Seriously? I'm not your favorite or your least favorite?" he asks, mock offended.

"You're the Lego Joker to my Lego Batman," Michael replies.

"Dude, that movie's so old!" Lucifer laughs.

"And 15 year old Bee Movie isn't?" Michael reminds him.

"True," Lucifer agrees. "But Bee Movie is awesome."

"I'd rather watch a documentary on silkworms," Michael replies.

"Hey, you — Actually, knowing you, it would take a lot to beat that."

"If you're going to be arguing, can you at least argue on the same side of the house?" Castiel asks, exasperated.

Lucifer sighs as if just assigned the most difficult task ever. "But that's so far!"

"Go," Castiel repeats.

"Or come math with us," Claire adds.
Castiel shoots her a bitch-you-didn't look, and she just shrugs.

"Depends on what you're doing," Lucifer replies, walking over to the kitchen table to look over at the papers. "Ooh, the ASS theorem!" he says excitedly.

"Angle Side Side doesn't come in 'til precalc," Castiel tells him. "It's a —"

"Phony theorem," Lucifer finishes. "I know. But I still called people Angle Side Sides all the time in high school. Which makes sense, actually, because a lot of them were both asses and fake as fuck. But anyway, let's do some triangle congruencies!"

Both Claire and Castiel just stare at him for a moment. He wants to do math? Why? Oh well. No reason not to let him.

"Pull up a chair," Castiel offers. "Welcome to the geometry express."