Entry Fifty Nine

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I fled the crime scene as soon as possible and disappeared into the trees.

Although part of me wanted to stay and soak up the feeling of justice, I did not want any possibility of being seen near their bodies. Even as a wolf, it could lead to a hunt and make the woods an unsafe sanctuary for myself and Geroux.

The idea of a sleepy town on high alert for a human-killing-wolf would become too ugly of a reality.

Nobody was around the woods, I could smell nothing but trees and bugs, so I trotted (for lack of a better word) back to Geroux's. Dirt stuck to the remnants of blood on the underside of my paw.

There was plenty of time to think about what I had just done on the way back home.

I had just murdered Pierre and Chantelle... sort of.

I don't think of myself as a common murderer. I had no desire to murder other people, just them. And it wasn't exactly "me" that carried out the crime...

It wasn't Belle Desrosiers who killed them, but rather the beast within that seems to share very little humanity with its host body.

It felt as though I was watching the murder happen through another's eyes. As though my mind was completely separate from my body. The wolf took over. It was all instinct and an animalistic thirst for flesh. That... that wasn't really me.

I was beginning to understand exactly what Geroux was talking about.

I was going to need help to get this under control.

Geroux has had a lot of experience with this... condition, so perhaps I should hear him out. After all, he was adamant that, with effort, there was a way we could be together...

Adrenaline was coursing through my veins while I raced through the forest to Geroux's, so I wasn't feeling anything but pure energy as I retraced my steps. Rather easy, because I could still smell the route I had initially taken.

Honestly, I wasn't at all sorry about what I did. Perhaps I would feel terrible about it one day, but that day, I imagine was very far away.

I wondered what Geroux would say. Would he berate me? Would he get angry? Or should a miracle occur, would he understand why I did what I did?

Poor Geroux. I ran off and left him - I shouldn't have left him in such a way.

And then to return and have to confess my sins...

With every step I took, even though I was still in wolf form, I felt more and more like I was becoming Belle again. There was an inner calmness that washed over me in waves. The animalistic urges subsided.

I could smell Geroux quite a distance before I was home. He was waiting outside.

As I made it through the last of the forest, there was Geroux, holding my robe.

I saw his nose flare. He looked at me with heartbreaking disappointment.

He could smell the blood.

"Belle," he said, "What have you done?"

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