Paradox

35

It's the 23rd of December, two days till my favourite day of the year. Christmas came so quick this year it was unbelievable, lightening bolt speed.

The house was decorated and looked tumblr as fuck, fairy lights hung off of everything and the tree lit up the room at night. It was beautiful, mom would have loved it.

Centre pieces were placed on nearly every table and random pieces of mistletoe was hung up around he house, Jack insisted on stopping under every piece. There were small ornaments and tinsel was wrapped around any column I found.

It was decorated head to toe and I simply loved it, I'd always dreamed of a big Christmas in my house with my family and seeing as though the only real family I liked was Ellie we invited the squad over for Christmas dinner.

Our house isn't the biggest but we were going to cope, they were all coming over tomorrow so they'd be here on Christmas morning. I was a bit shocked when everyone agreed because none of their families included them in the plans for Christmas but I didn't mind.

Skate said he was going to bring a girl, because he didn't want to have to be he only single one. I was a bit shocked seeing as though he never really settled down with a girl, I just hope she doesn't ruin anything. I mean she could potentially be the love of Skates life I don't want her to mess up, because I know I'll be the one to hold a grudge.

On to another subject, I don't have any idea of how to cook or what to actually do about the food situation. I couldn't cook to save my life and I still can't. I had no clue as to what to do, I'd called caterers but none of them could do it.

I called Kelsey, it rung for a while before she answered, "can you cook?" I question hurriedly.

"Hi to you too Chantelle, and yeah why?" She asks, I sigh in relief.

"Urm you know Christmas dinner?" I say.

"Yeah..."

"I don't have a clue as to what to cook, or how to do it." I say a bit embarrassed.

"I'm coming over, we'll go get the food." She says I can sense the smile through the phone.

"Your a life saver." I say, "I love you see you soon."

She hangs up and I quickly get changed, I hear Kelsey enter the house and begin to start a conversation with Ellie. "I'm coming with!" Ellie says as I come down the stairs.

"Ok let's go!" I say getting the keys to my jeep.

We get to the shop and buy everything Kelsey said we may need, she learned how to cook from her mom and she says she's pretty good, plus knowing Sammy he would have ran for the hills if she couldn't cook.

I pay for everything even though Kelsey offered I refused and we put the bags in the trunk, I didn't mind the coldness or the small amount of snow. I loved winter and that was a fact.

I rolled down the window and pulled a cigarette lighting it with a lighter before starting apur drive home. "Do you have to smoke that in here?" I hear Ellie mumble from behind me.

"What's your problem?" I ask when we stop at a red light.

"Nothing." She mumbles rolling her eyes, I drop Kelsey at her and Sammys house before driving angrily towards our house.

"What's wrong?" I ask annoyed, she shakes her head.

"There has to be something wrong, your bitchier then usual." I say forcing a smile.

"Your acting like a bitch." She said laughing dryly, "your so heartless, it's as if the only person you actually care about in the world is Jack!" She exclaims as I stop the car in the driveway.

"Why would you think that? I love you Ellie!" I say angrily.

"I'm sorry." She says shaking her head, "it's just depressing you know."

"What?" I ask confused.

"It's our first Christmas without mom and dad." She says looking at the seatbelt.

I didn't think about it, but it was our first Christmas without mom. She's been with us every other christmas and this being the first without her will obviously be weird. I didn't really think much of it, she's gone and we both know that.

She lives on in our hearts but I don't want to live in the past, she wouldn't have wanted it.

I look at Ellie and hug her, I feel her pain, I know how she feels. I just try not to let it affect me.

"Don't think about that," I say, "she would want us to live on, without her."