Paradox

26

I couldn't help but blame myself for everything, My mom dying, my dad practically kicking Ellie out and Jack finding someone else.

My mom died less then two months ago, I'm still grieving massively. My heart is still broken, not being able to hear her voice or see her smile kills me deep down. I don't show, actually I'm pretty depressed.

Ellie has been trying to get me to go see a therapist and I may take up her offer, I mean if I don't understand myself maybe I can make a stranger.

Dad hasn't even tried to get Ellie back, in fact I got sent papers the other day that my dad had signed saying that I am now Ellie's legal guardian. It's ridiculous, he's let a slutty low life get in the way of his marriage and fatherhood.

As for Jack, well let's just say ever since that encounter the other day we haven't talked, he's constantly on my mind but he's never wanting to talk to me again. I don't even know what I did, maybe it's the thing about how I'm not friends with Kelsey and Gabby yet or maybe I'm just not likeable.

I walk into work slobbishly lying down on the couch, this has became a usual thing. I hang around until the club gets more crowded. No one minds, it's not like anyone cares.

Kelsey walks in and rolls her eyes at me, she hangs her coat on the door before walking over to the couch and lying next to me, "How long are you going to be mad at us?"

"I'm not mad." I say quietly.

"You are!" She exclaims.

"Im not angry, just disappointed." I say, "disappointed my best friends had a dig at me before they even heard the full story." I stand up.

"I don't think anyone has been there for me recently and I've been perfectly fine." I walk out into the bar.

I see a boy sitting there, his eyes are red and bloodshot. "Can I get you a drink?" I ask.

"Erm I'll have ten shots of vodka." He said chuckling slowly.

I give him the drink and take his money as I stare at him curiously. "Your high?" I ask.

"Yeah." He says smirking proudly, "I supply the best weed in LA hit me up." He said handing me a card with his number on it.

"Why're you at a bar, high then?" I question looking at the empty bar. It was only half past five so it was pretty empty.

"Because you only live once." He said smiling at me.

"This is what you think livings about?" I question.

"Well if I didn't get high and drunk all the time, I'd probably be so deep in depression I'd never find away out of it." He says making my smile fade.

"Why would you be depressed?"

"Well my brother, he's a total dick. Got put in jail for raping a girl and abusing her. My mom, total psycho. Never knew my dad." I stand back a bit chocked and I thought my life was messed up.

"What's your name?" He questions curiously.

"I'm Chantelle." I smile softly.

"Well it's nice to meet you Chantelle!" He shakes my hand, "I'm Hayes, Hayes Grier."

My smile drops and I stare at him shocked.