Lucifer: Buying a freaking house

Lucifer: At seventeen years old

Lucifer: All at once

Lucifer: That's not cool bro

Lucifer: Like I wish I was you

Lucifer: Then I wouldn't have any student debt or anything

Lucifer: Well I mean

Lucifer: You paid off my student debt

Lucifer: And practically everything else we could ever use

Lucifer: But still

Lucifer: You're a money machine

Lucifer: Wait why am I talking about money?

Lucifer: Ah screw it

Lucifer: I'm gonna go back to the important thing here

Lucifer: Destiel

Lucifer: Was that Dean?

Lucifer: I heard guitar

Lucifer: Dean plays guitar

Lucifer: And that annoying but entertaining yell could have been Dean

Lucifer: And that laugh

Lucifer: I think he just laughed cuz you said it

Lucifer: I mean seriously

Lucifer: Not that it wasn't funny

Lucifer: But if it was Dean

Lucifer: Which it better have been

Lucifer: Then I think he laughed because of you

Lucifer: Not what you said

Lucifer: Anyway

Lucifer: Dude

Lucifer: What the he'll?

Lucifer: Fuck

Lucifer: What the hell?

Lucifer: That's better

Lucifer: Stupud autocorrect

Lucifer: I've literally been texting you for almost an hour

Lucifer: Why haven't you responded

Lucifer: There's literally no way you could not be seeing these

Lucifer: Unless you muted me

Lucifer: Or blocked me

Lucifer: I think

Lucifer: I've never been blocked before

Lucifer: But you wouldn't block me

Lucifer: You LOOOOOVE me

Lucifer: Right?

Lucifer: You didn't block me

Lucifer: I hope

Lucifer: So where are you

Lucifer: Answer me

Lucifer: Wait

Lucifer: You're a celebrity now

Lucifer: You probably have some important stuff to do

Lucifer: Because you're Taylor swift

Lucifer: Okay

Lucifer: Well call me

Lucifer: Eventually

Lucifer: When you get this

Lucifer: Well

Lucifer: These

Lucifer: There are a lot of messages here

Lucifer: What like fifty?

Lucifer: Ish?

Lucifer: Anyway

Lucifer: Call me

Lucifer: Dude seriously

Lucifer: I texted you like four hours ago

Lucifer: Where tf did you go?

Lucifer: CASTIEL

Lucifer: Seriously

Lucifer: I quit

Lucifer: Life

Lucifer: I quit life

Lucifer: Call me!!!

Lucifer: As soon as you get these!!!

A/N I literally just wrote a chapter's worth of Lucifer's one sided conversation like wtf me? This was only supposed to be like 50 messages oops

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