Cursed (Infernal Devices Fanfiction)

Chapter 8- Blame

Disclaimer: all settings, characters (apart from Philip and Grace) and the main story plot belong to the magnificent Cassandra Clare. Grace, Philip, and my own story plot belong to me. I sadly do not own the Infernal Devices.
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'But there's a side to you
That I never knew, never knew
All the things you'd say
They were never true, never true
And the games you play
You would always win, always win.'

- Set Fire To The Rain, Adele

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-*-*-*-*- Jem -*-*-*-*-
Jem knew exactly why he was standing outside Philip's door. Before Grace fell unconscious, he would have been shocked and appalled at himself for the reason.

But he couldn't take it anymore.

Philip was the reason Grace wasn't here with him. Philip was the reason that the Magister even knew of Grace in the first place. Philip was going to tell him exactly where Mortmain was. And then, Jem would hunt him down and kill him.

"James?" Philip asked from the bed, closing his book. "Can I help you?" Jem slammed the door shut and stalked over to Philip, wrapping his hands around his throat. Philip let out a surprised noise as they crashed to the floor.

"Tell me where he is!" Jem shouted at him. "I know you know! Tell me where he is or I swear to God I will kill you right now!"

"I- I don't know," Philip choked out.

"Liar!" Jem snarled. He yanked Philip up and slammed him into the wall, ignoring the fact Philip's face was turning scarlet. "You know where the Magister is! You were his most trusted minion! Tell me!"

"James..." Philip whispered, his eyes drooping. Suddenly, Jem let go, stumbling backwards. His back hit the far wall as he stared with a sick horror at Philip who was gasping on the floor.

"Oh god..." Jem said softly. "Philip, I..."

"You're stronger than you look," Philip wheezed. He looked up. "I probably deserved that."

"I had no right," Jem said.

"No, you did," Philip said, slowly getting up and sitting on the bed, rubbing his neck as he did so. "It's all my fault. I am to blame for everything." Jem shook his head. As much as he knew it was Philip's fault, he had shared part of the blame as well.

"You said Tessa was the way to get Grace back," Jem said. "Did you mean that?"

"Of course I did," Philip said.

"How? How can she possibly help?"

"Miss Gray can touch the mind of whoever she changes into," Philip said. "Maybe she can stop whatever Grace is facing and get her to wake up."

"It won't work," Jem said. "Grace's mind is too well protected. And Yanluo would stop her."

"But-"

"No!" Jem snarled. "I am not putting her in danger!" He'd had enough. Jem marched out, slamming the door behind him. How could Philip think he was willing to put Tessa in danger? Jem ran a hand through his hair. God, what was he going to do? It was like asking him to choose between two people he couldn't live without. But he knew he'd go mad without Grace here, just like he'd never forgive himself if Tessa got hurt while trying to get Grace back. In fact, he was sure Grace herself would hate him for it.

Jem entered his room in a frenzy. He kicked over a chair and threw his jade cane. Thoughts and faces were swirling in his head. Will, Tessa, Grace, Philip.