Forever. (A Bucky Barnes fanfiction)

Chapter 33.

I stick my hand forwards and flick my pointer finger up, throwing one of the enemy men against a building, which instantly kills him. "I need your help." Steve's voice comes through the communicator, sounding actually frantic, which isn't at all common for him. I quickly run to the alley he's in, ready to fight whatever comes at him, instead, I find him leaning back against a wall, thick, crimson blood slowly dripping out from his mouth. "Oh my god Steve!" I exclaim and hurry over, getting down beside him on my knees, a large, bleeding point of entry for some sort of sword marks the middle of his stomach, damnit! Why does he keep going into alleyways if he gets seriously hurt EVERY time?! I don't know what the fuck to do! I'm not a doctor and no doctors are in this city anymore since the evacuation so how can I save him?! "It's...it's gonna be okay! I swear!" I frantically push my hands against the wound, making him wince and groan in pain. I clench my teeth and try to tune out his pained sounds so I can focus on helping him. "Stop! Please stop!" He pleads, pounding his fist against the ground. "I can't, Steve! If I don't try to help you....you might die, and I'm not gonna let that happen so shut up!" I demand, mentally trying to conjure up some sort of lifesaving maneuver that could help, but nothing comes to mind. "Sarah...I think this is it..just stop." He says softly, I pause, my blood soaked hands barely touching his wound, I slowly turn my head and look at him with watery eyes. "No! This isn't it! I'm supposed to protect you! I'm supposed to keep you saf-" "when you find Bucky tell him...tell him he was my best friend, through everything, you both were, and I'm only who I-" he interrupts himself with a fit of violent coughing, at one point blood spills from Steve's mouth, I sob silently, tears stain my dirty cheeks, and I squeeze my eyes shut to avoid seeing him like this. "I'm only who I am today because of you two...I love you..you and Bucky. I, hah, I always will, I swear." "Stop saying that! Stop talking like you're going to die!" I demand through my choked sobs, gently grabbing his face and making him look at me. His lips are curled into a weak smile, his eyes flutter open and closed quickly, and the area on his clothes soaked with blood seems to be growing at an alarming rate. He reaches up and placed his hand against the side of my face. "Goodbye Sarah." Just after he whispers those words I've heard far too many times in my life, his eyes, their once bright, vibrant color dull to a lifeless, pale blue. His lips lose their smile, his body relaxes, and his hand falls from my face, onto the cold, blood soaked concrete. I slowly move my shaking hands off of his face, and around his shoulders, sitting down next to him and pulling him close to my body, holding him tighter than I've ever held on to anything before, my tears drop onto his face as I stare down at him. I wasn't there to save him. I...I couldn't save..him. I should've protected him. Two shield agents run down the alleyway towards me and Steve's body, but I squeeze tightly onto him and scowl at them. "Stay.Away." I warn, quickly lifting a gun up towards them. "We need to take him to the med ba-" "HE'S GONE, CAN'T YOU SEE HE'S...HE'S DEAD! AND THERE ISN'T A THING ANYONE CAN DO TO SAVE HIM!" I scream at them, cocking the gun and pointing it at them again. They lift their hands up slowly, then slowly backing out of the alley way, and then out of sight. I turn back to Steve's body and squeeze my eyes shut, a desperate attempt to wake up to a world where he isn't...where he isn't gone. But it doesn't work, and I'm still trapped in this nightmare, clinging onto the body of the person I have always tried to protect. I failed him. I failed Bucky. When he finds out...he's gonna lose it. I can't handle seeing him like that, it's all my fault. I shouldn't have left him to fight on his own, I should've stayed by his side. I should've- "Sarah?" I hear Bucky ask for me through the communicator, sounding scared. "Bucky? What's wrong?" I reply frantically, hoping it's nothing serious, oh, wait, scratch that, literally praying that it's nothing serious. "I love yo-" his phrase is interrupted by a gun shot, and then a thud and a crackle  of the communicator being crushed beneath a boot. I sit there again, still as a corpse, breathing slowly in and out, from shock. I suddenly get up, and run as fast as I can to where Bucky was last I saw him, over in the park. I see him laying in the grass, not moving, not breathing, and with a bullet through his chest. And walking away from him is a man wearing a gold and red metal suit, the man who killed my best friend, and then killed my boyfriend, to me, I only see him as the devil, others, they call him Tony Stark. My anger builds up inside of me, burning like a million punts of hellfire and fury, I point at him, lift my hand, and then move it closer to me. As he gets levitated he struggles to get free, screaming a little bit even, no doubt trying to make me look like the bad guy. As soon as he sees my face he starts laughing, making me want to kill him even more than before, he can't laugh about killing the two people I cared about the most, he needs to suffer, to live his life in constant agony, but first, I need answers. "You killed them, why?" I ask him softly, my voice shaking from trying to keep calm. "I was aiming for you, I guess I got Rogers instead so I decided, hey, why not kill the other one too so she'll just kill herself?" "Steve was your friend!" I yell directly into his face, making him wince. "Then why'd he trade me in? Wanted a newer model? Wanted that long haired freaks dick in his-" "I'm going to kill you, you know that?! I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU! NOBODY DISRESPECTS THE PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT!" I scream at him, grabbing him by the throat and holding him in the air above me, pulling out my gun, and pointing it at his head. "No powers." I grunt through gritted teeth. "No cheating." I pull the trigger, and drop his lifeless body to the ground. "WHAT DID YOU DO?!" Natasha screams at me, and the remaining avengers all slowly circle around, trying to trap me. I am not in the mood for this. I take a deep breath, and clench my fist. Everyone around me falls to the ground, asleep, they'll be under for a few hours, but they'll be fine. I look around at everyone around me, then at Bucky's body just a few feet away from me. This is my fault. It's all my fault. "I'm sorry." I whisper, the tears from earlier resurfacing, and streaming out of my eyes as I start to stomp my feet and throw my arms around like a child throwing a tantrum. "I'M SORRY! DON'T YOU HEAR ME?! I'M SORRY! FOR EVERYTHING! JUST..JUST GIVE ME BACK MY BOYS! PLEASE! FOR ONCE IN MY DAMN LIFE HELP ME OUT! PLEASE!" I scream at the sky, just begging for some kind of miracle. But that kinda thing never actually happens....it's hopeless.