Forever. (A Bucky Barnes fanfiction)

Chapter 20.

"So you were being held as a sex slave?" Tony asks me, I nod, suddenly interested in the little details on the kitchen island. "I mean damn, I'd do the same as that guy if I saw you walking the streets alone!" He laughs and pinches my ass as he walks by. I immediately spin around and grab and his shirt collar. "Never.do.that.again." I order, than dropping him to the ground, and start to walk away, but before I can make it through the door to the living room he calls out after me. "Aw cmon! You must've enjoyed all that sex all the time! And with a supermodel no doubt. Who knows? Maybe you pretended the whole thing for publicity!"  His claim makes me freeze dead in my tracks, what the fuck?! What the fuck?! I turn back to him, fists balled, eyes narrowed. "Every second of being there was pure hell! How dare you even imply that I enjoyed myself there?! I'm gonna fucking kill ya if you don't stop saying that." My threat causes evident fear within him, but he smirks again, what an arrogant bastard! I stick my hand out and swipe it up, he gets thrown to the ceiling and then falls back onto the floor, landing on his stomach. "Can't you go one day without killing someone?" He jeers, his words coming out choked due to, Y'know, getting the air knocked out of him. He just doesn't know when to stop. I kneel down beside where he lays trying to catch his breath. "I only kill when I need to. Now keep, your mouth, shut." I order, speaking softly. Thankfully he doesn't reply, so I stand up and walk out of the kitchen, and into the living room, where Steve sits on the couch watching football, I smile and jump over the back of the couch and land right beside him, then put my arm around his shoulders. "Hey there." He turns to me and says, chuckling a little bit. I smile sweetly at him. "Hi. I want you to know that your friend Tony is the biggest asshole in this whole damn city." Steve's smile drops and is replaced with worry and confusion. "What did he do to you? Did he hurt you at all?" He worriedly asks, looking over my arms and legs for bruises. "He didn't hurt me physically, he said some things that made me actually want to kill him." Steve puts his hand over his face, rubbing his eyes exasperatedly, I squeeze his shoulder and smile at him again. "It's alright pal. Don't worry about it." I comfort him, I've always been a sister to Steve, I'll always be there for him, always. If I had to choose between saving my life or saving Steve's, I'd choose to save Steve in less than half a second, even if it means I'll die, it's the same for Bucky, but when we were growing up I was more like a best friend that you have a crush on. One time I was taking his trash out from his room while he and his folks were out of town, and I noticed a bunch of papers had my name written on them, so naturally I was curious and picked one up, they were pretty much all crumpled into balls, and after about an hour of reading, I picked up the last one in the trash can and read it. Bucky had a whole trash can full of love letters for me, most if them had crossed out words, misspelled words, ink spills, accidental pen markings across the paper, some were just incomplete, like he thought they weren't good enough, so he started over. But the first one I read, was complete, even had his name signed at the bottom. At the time we were all about thirteen, and I wasn't allowed to have a boyfriend, so even though each of Bucky's letter were heart meltingly beautiful and made me cry, I couldn't tell him I read any of them, cause I'd never disobey my mother. So then time went by and pretty soon we were all nineteen, and I decided that I was going to tell Bucky about reading the letters, so I went over to his place, went inside and into his room. He was laying on his back on the bed, tossing a baseball up, catching it, and starting the cycle over again, I leaned against his doorway and just stood there, smiling at him fondly. "Hey." I speak up, surprising him, he sits up quickly, ready to throw the ball at whoever had broken into his house. He relaxed when he saw me, and smiled. "What the hell? You trying to give me a heart attack?" He asked me, chuckling a bit. I walked over to him and sat down next to him on his bed, I took a deep breath. "I have to tell you something." "Me too!" "You first." I insist, hoping for the best. He takes a deep breath and grabs my hands. "Okay, I'm joining the army." Boom, there goes my heart. I freeze, I couldn't move if I tried, I'm going to lose him, sure, he's tough and he can handle himself well in a fight, but going to the battlefield is a lot different than an alley or bar fight. I'm going to lose him. "Sarah?" Bucky puts his hands around my face, turning my head to face him, I can't look at him. My eyes are glued to the floor. "Sarah look at me please!" He pleads, I slowly look up at him and weakly smile. "Im....I'm proud of you." I say softly, wiping a year off my cheek with a shaky hand. He frowns. "I'll be alright! It's only a two year term!" His words only make the tears fall faster, and I stand up, covering my face with my hands, shoulders shaking violently. Bucky quickly gets up as well and comes over, wrapping his arms around my body from behind. "I'm sorry..I just can't stand around and not help my country defeat nazis'! I'm doing this to protect you! To protect steve! To protect my family." "I know! I know and I'm so proud of you for doing this. I'm...happy for you." I turned around and put my hands on his chest, a fake smile on my face. He smiled, but I could tell he was still worried. "No you're not." He says, softly. "I'm serious, I'm happy for you." I tell him, trying to be as convincing as I can. This time, he smiles brightly, and hugs me close to his body. "Oh I'm sorry, what was it you wanted to tell me?" He asks, pulling away from the hug and sitting back down on his bed. I can't tell him. I can't. "Um..it was nothing." "Are you sure?" "It was nothing I swear." I smiled at him for reassurance, and he stands back up again, and wraps his arms around me. God I'm gonna miss this. As he stood there, holding me, slowly rocking us back and fourth, I cried silently. I still haven't told him. And I don't think I ever will.