i woke up to an unfamiliar plain white ceiling. a couple of lights plastered as it dimly showered me with it's light, slightly making me squint my eyes, adjusting to the brightness.
i could only frown as he strong aroma of medicines and the faint beeping of a machine filled my senses, glancing from left to right. it didn't take long for me to realise my surrounding, glancing down to see the hospital gown i'm currently wearing. then my eyes landed on the dextrose in my hand, memories of earlier flooding my mind as i try to sit up, only to hiss when a piercing pain shot on my body.
"fuck," i plopped back down, brows scrunched together. my eyes roamed the room for any signs of seokjin or namjoon, the memories of earlier still lingers fresh even in the depths of my mind. but to my dismay, nobody's here. i am pretty much alone.
i searched for my phone, inwardly groaning at the irritating fact that i couldn't move even a muscle without inflicted more pain to my very being. "fuck you, papa." i grumbled, scowling as i murders him for the millionth time in my head.
if it weren't for him and his stupid drunk ass, i wouldn't be struggling to get up and move. but i could only sigh. partly, it's also my fault. i could've stood up to him and fought, but i didn't. so now, i have to face the consequences of being utterly coward. for being a pussy and being too weak.
slowly and gently, i tried sitting up once again, hisses casually escaping my lips as i gritted my teeth, sucking it all in. once i was finally sat up on the bed, i sighed in relieve, falling back on the headboard as i closed my eyes for a couple moments, relaxing my nerves and veins while breathing heavily.
when my breathing finally evened, my eyes roamed the room, eyes immediately locked on the wall clock placed just atop the door to what seemed like my own personal comfort room. it read seven past five, indicating that i had passed out for approximately the whole day.
i spotted my phone by my side, smiling to myself as i unlocked it and tried dialling my brother's phone. a few rings have passed and still no signs nor a simple hello could be heard other than the irritating ringing on the other line, slowly causing me to grow impatient as a few more rings rang by.
i tried dialling namjoon's phone as well, sighing as his phone repeats unavailable for the umpteenth time. i could only lean back on the headboard, loneliness creeping through me as another consecutive sighs escaped my lips.
how could they just leave me all alone in here?
it isn't new to me though. being unwanted and being left behind isn't exactly something new to me. ever since i was a kid, seokjin was the only one who cares truly for me. it's safe to say that my brother became a parent at such a young age since our parents are too much of an assholes to care and cherish us just like how a mother and a father should be.
unlike our father, our mother never did hit us. she never did raised her hands to hurt us nor did she called us names and such. but it was because she didn't care. she never did hurt us but she also didn't do anything to keep us from hurting. she never gets mad at us because she pretty much don't give the slightest fuck about us.
she was a mother,
but never a mom.
it was clear that she didn't want us. because if she did, she would've protected us at all cost. if she did want us, she would cherish us. and lastly, she would be here with me, assuring me that everything's going to be okay— if she did care, she'd do her priorities as a mom.
but she doesn't.
i sighed once again, once again sucking the pain as i try to move and stand up from the hospital bed, filling the room with my curses and hisses as i push myself off the bed.
good thing it didn't hurt to walk. but it still aches a little when i move my lower body. i took a couple steps, a bit relieved that it didn't pain that much as when i was sitting up on the bed earlier, reaching for my phone before slowly walking my way out the room.
i need to find namjoon and seokjin, being alone just makes me wanna cry and i hate it.
i first found the cafeteria and it didn't take long for my stomach to growl in hunger, deciding to just fuck seokjin and namjoon, and just dropped the whole idea of searching for them as i push open the glass door that leads inside.
a few nurses greeted me as i passed by them, some smiled while waving at me. i could only nod and give them an awkward smile, not really fond of people.
a lady wearing an apron stood by the counter, a gentle smile on her lips as she waves me hello. "what do you want to get, dear?" she questions, beckoning over the various foods in front which consisted mostly of vegetables and other healthy meals. she must've seen the hesitation in my eyes, earning a soft laugh from her as she say, "don't worry. for patients, the meal's free."
"i..i'll have the vegetable salad please." i decided, looking down in embarrassment. i heard her giggled before accommodating my meal. "salad it is!" she cheerfully says, reaching for the packed meal and handed it to me in delight. "enjoy your meal, dear." she smiles.
my eyes roamed the large hall, searching for an empty table to sit on. but to my dismay, every table has been occupied. i sighed. i was never really good with people. i am an introvert and claustrophobic. besides jimin, i am never really fond of socialising. si without much thought, i dismissed the idea of eating in the cafeteria and decided to just eat the meal on my room instead.
but it was on the fourth step did my eyes falter to a certain boy. my heart stopped and suddenly everything else left forgotten. my breathing hitched as a gasp escaped from my very lips, the same time my arms felt too weak to take hold of the tray, letting the meal go to waste as it crumbles down on the concrete.
my eyes widen, unable to believe. because ever since he left, everything turned upside down. ever since he walked away, even reality turned in to a fantasy.
it had been almost a year of longing. i should be happy right now. i should be smiling and running into his arms. but everything seemed to crumble down as my locked on him. everything seemed so painful as i set my gaze on him, feeling the tears welling down the side of me cheeks.
slowly, my feet paced towards him, my heart shaking and my hands trembling. i could not believe my eyes, hoping that this is all just a dream.
by the time i was only a few steps away, i was already a crying mess. my fists balled on my side as i literally glared through his soul, the same time he looks up, only to meet my desolated and hallow eyes.
"Jimin..."
