I found myself deep in thought with yet again another daydream, the sun kissing my skin ever so gentle as I sat on a nearby bench. I could feel the now cold liquid remains of my ice cream racing down my fingertips, but I stayed still, having not enough courage to even move a muscle.
It is one of those dark days, the kinds of days I hate the most. I was getting bad again. I feel so lifeless, so alone and so stupid. I couldn't even bring myself to even smile nor look away from the concrete floor. The wind splashed through me, my hair wobbling in the air yet still, I feel so suffocated.
Today would've been the fifth year ever since we've met, that very same day I cherish the most— the day I found myself hopelessly falling in love for that snob senior named Park Jimin. The same day I realized how much impact a simple smile could bring into my life. He was beautiful, such a magnificent art that not even every adjectives combined could be able to describe him. He was one of a kind– the rare kind whom I fell in love with.
I wanna hold him, hug him and shower him with kisses. I want to be the one cuddled beside him on a cold winter night, feeling his warmth and calm breaths against my neck. I want to be touched by him, to feel him and own him. I want to be the only one that gets to see his smile, selfish but I don't care. I wanna be the one he runs to after a hard day at work and tell me how his day went no matter how uneventful it was. I will make him feel special, treat him like a king and serve him wholeheartedly. I will not forsake his trust, I will love him.
I wanna do all of those things to him.
My heart ached. Remembering even his name felt like my heart was being ripped apart. I found myself sighing in vain, eyes darted on the piece of paper in my hand which had his name typed into it. It was what jolted me back into reality, reading the large letters as I felt like being stabbed in the heart by a really sharp knife. Realization hit me and soon I once again felt empty.
He's still missing; no,
He ran away.
I watched my brother from afar as he gave away fliers after fliers, not once taking a break. He looks so determined. I could hear his gentle voice in my mind, desperately asking if anybody saw the young man in the picture, letting our yet another sigh for once again the answer was 'no'.
On the other side was Taehyung and Namjoon, sweats staining their every cloth but still continued to distribute each fliers in their hands, being as desperate and as determined as my brother, seokjin.
Everyday we would go to places, only to distribute each printed fliers in search for Jimin's whereabouts, but everyday, we'd fail. Each day I would stare at the front door for a good hour before I go to sleep, hoping for it to bust open and it would be him standing by the door with a huge ass smile on his face as he waves at me. Sometimes I'd find myself staring at nothing but my phone, wishing and hoping that with every rings and messages received, it would be him. But everyday, it would always leave me hanging and in pain, as realization hits me that he's never coming back.
Sometimes I wonder why the fuck do I even put an effort to find someone who clearly doesn't wanna be found. But the three fucking words was what all I needed to hear to know the answer— that I love him so fucking much to just let him go that easily. I feel way too deep to just give up. And what's more fucked up is knowing that he no longer needs and wants me yet here I am, in desperate need to see his smile. Even just for a short moment, even a single glance, I would do anything just to see his smile.
I didn't even realise I was crying when a handkerchief was held in front of me. I looked up and I was met with such adorable little girl. She's dressed like a princess, a tiara nicely placed above her head. I smiled. "Well hi there, little miss."
"Oppa!" She smiled back, waving the handkerchief at me. "Why are you crying?" this time, she was pouting, adding up to her cuteness.
"Crying? No, baby. My eyes were just erm— sweating," I lied, reaching out to pinch her nose. "I am a big boy, and big boys don't cry." I winked at her.
"Everybody cries, oppa." She bit her lip. "If I'm hurt, I cry too. Just like when I fell on my bike, I cried so much. There were blood, oppa!" She explained dramatically, even gesturing her hands as she spoke.
I couldn't help but let out a giggle by how adorable this little girl is, messing her hair and pinching her nose once again. "But oppa isn't hurt. See? I don't have wounds!" I smiled, showing her my clean and plain arms.
She was silent after that, just staring at my bare arms before turning to look me straight in the eyes. "Take this, oppa." She smiled dearly at me.
"But oppa doesn't need it, sweetie. Keep it and use your handkerchief if you get hurt, okay?" I played with her hair, a small grin plastered on my face.
"But it's not mine." She said, making me frown. "Another oppa gave this to me and told me you needed it because you're hurt." she pouted sadly, stretching her hands further more towards me.
"Another oppa?" I raised a brow.
"Hmm!" She nodded her head eagerly, eyes forming a doe shape. "That oppa right there!" She said, pointing behind me.
I slowly loosened my grip on her before turning ever so slowly, a warm fuzzy feeling playing in the pit of my stomach. A wierd euphoria running through my veins as my heart started to beat faster, my hands now shaking for no apparent reason and my teeth chattering. Finally, I turned around;
And there stood a boy, his small little hazel eyes gazing back at me from afar. It felt like the world disappeared as soon as our eyes met, time stopped and felt like life was restored in my system, heart beat accelerating as it echoed through my ears. I don't know what to feel, stuck frozen and still. I couldn't move.
It's him.
He stared back at me with the same intensity, standing a few feet away from where I stand. He made no move aswell and just stood on his ground. His face was blank yet his eyes spoke of many things. I can't be wrong, this time it really is him.
"Jimin," I breathed out.
