Bounded To You (Eternity)

Chapter 17 - Fear of The Unknown

CHAPTER 17: Fear of the unknown

Tobias sat in the dusty library, surrounded by the tall bookshelves, and the piles of books Edmur had on the table. He had a book in his hand, but he wasn't particularly reading it, instead his eyes lingered on Edmur sitting opposite him, intently studying the pages of the book he had in his hands, before his eyes would dart to the two that lay close to him, open as well, as he appeared to compare their content.

Tobias finally leaned forward, his chin resting on his palm as his eyes stayed on Edmur. He couldn't help but wonder if Edmur still thought about the confession of his true feelings, or if he'd completely forgotten about it, or perhaps pretended not to remember since he hadn't even mentioned it since that night.

"Toby?" Edmur finally said, as he'd raised his head only for his eyes to meet with the alchemists, but even though their eyes were locked, Tobias didn't seem to see him. "Are you alright?" He asked with a frown when Tobias still appeared to be adrift in his own thoughts. "Tobias."

Tobias was startled form his thoughts when Edmur called his name, his elbow slipping from the edge of the table, and he almost slammed his face on it before he composed himself and asked, "What?"

"What were you thinking about?" Edmur asked amused at the flush that covered the alchemists face, as if caught doing something he shouldn't have been.

"N-nothing." Tobias said before changing the subject, "What are you reading?"

"I will answer once you've told me what's gotten you so unfocused." Edmur retorted.

"I told you, it's nothing." Tobias repeated.

"Come now, you've never hidden a thing from me." Edmur said.

"Well I did managed to hide my feeling for you, for years." Tobias replied smugly.

"True. So what is it?" Edmur asked again.

Tobias looked down at the page of the book in his hand before he finally told him, "I don't want to keep saying it. I feel like I'm just pushing you into something you are not interested in, so I better keep my mouth shut."

"Tobias." Edmur said firmly, watching as Tobias's eyes rose to meet his before he said, "Spill it."

Tobias smiled softly before he again tried to pretend he was reading as he said, "I was just wondering if you have thought about what I told you. Doesn't mean I changed my mind about waiting, because that will never happen, I was just wondering if you were." Tobias quickly added the last part.

Edmur cut him off saying, "I know." Tobias watched as Edmur had the same idea he did, looking back at his book, a blush covering his face as he replied, "I have been thinking about it. A lot. I am still not sure what I want. I don't know what would be the right choice. I don't want to risk our relationship. I care dearly for you, and I don't want that to change, or your feelings to turn into resentment if things didn't go well between us."

Tobias's heart swelled with adoration for the seer, hearing his words made him realize how much Edmur had been considering it, and how much he thought about him, worrying about their relationship.

"It scares me to think of not having you to rely on when I need you. We have been together for as long as I can recall, and I don't want to ruin what we already have. You are the only family I have in this world, and I don't want to lose you. But it also scares me that I would lose you if I merely ignored your feelings. I don't want to hurt you, Toby. But I also hate feeling so helpless. I am trying to come to a conclusion on how to address this, but-..."