Bounded To You (Eternity)

Chapter 15 -Lingering Ache

CHAPTER 15 - Lingering Ache

Noah sat in the rocking boat for the longest time, his arms wrapped around the urn as he held it close to his chest. He was trying hard not to falter in his decision as he sat there, the sky dark with nightfall as his hand again caressed the container. "Again, I don't want to let go, Lu. But this is where you belong, and I have no right to keep you from being with your family..." Noah mumbled brokenly, feeling a tear slip from his eye. "I love you... I truly am sorry for what I made you go through... I swear, I will make it up to you once I have you in my arms again. My heart aches for that day to come soon..."

With that, Noah removed the lid from the top of the urn, looking into the dark depth of it. He found himself wondering if it would be just as dark at the bottom of the river. "I would take you to the lake, keep you all to myself if I could. But I don't want you to be alone." He whispered finally as he brought the urn to the side of the boat, tilting it slight, feeling the ache in his chest at what he was about to do, but finally letting the remains scatter into the water. "I promise, no one will ever lay a hand on you again." Once the urn was emptied, he wondered what to do with it, but then decided to let it as well sink into the bottom of the river, holding it under until it filled with water before he let it go.

He stayed there a while longer, floating in the boat he'd taken out from the bay. This part of the river being rarely used for boats made it difficult for him to find one. But sitting there, he felt numb as he stared at the stars. He finally rowed the boat back to shore, tying it to a post before meeting up with Leon who was waiting for him to return, giving him the privacy he needed for what he was doing.

Leon walked alongside him, as quiet as usual until he reached the prince's room, the one the king designated for him to stay in since their return from the fortress. It wasn't the same one that was so close to the kings, but one slightly further away. Even though the king wanted to give him his privacy, he didn't want him too far away.

Reaching the room, Leon watched as Noah entered it, closing the door behind him. He stood outside the door for a while before the night guards came to take post at all the royal family's doors. At that time he retreated, returning to the barracks for the night.

Wrapping his arm around his middle tightly, Noah let himself fall to the ground, the pain he's been trying to hold back getting the best of him. The memories that had been refreshed in his mind from Levi's spell were still strong, and vivid, making pain shoot through his being even time one of them passed through him.

He gasped for air, unable to get enough, as no matter how much he dragged into his body, it felt like it never reached his starved lungs. The contraction of his throat finally let up, allowing a pained, chocked whimper to rip its way out of his throat, causing it to hurt even more at how brutal it felt. A charade. He'd been trying to keep himself together, but it was nothing but a charade that now has fallen apart. He was trying so hard not to let his mask of stoicism crack, but he knew that some of what he felt showed in his behavior.

In the moments he held back from speaking when approached, it was because he was fighting back his tears, knowing if he let himself talk that he'd break down into sobs that now wrecked his body. It was acceptable now. No one was watching. No one was witnessing as he fell into his despair, allowing himself to feel the ache that spread through his entire existence. He ached. Everything around him made it worse. Even the slightest of breeze touching his skin, reminding him of moments when Lucius would brush his fingers against his cheeks.

He shuddered at the recollection of the one that represented his whole universe. Wrenching another sob out of his tightened throat as he recalled what had befallen him. He was taken from him. Ripped from his arms. Torn away from his life. He needed him by his side so desperately. To hold him; to feel his fingers as they caress his pain away, running smoothly through his hair, up and down his back. A phantom of the feeling made his body tremble, his eyes needing to look around to assert that his beloved wasn't actually there.