How To Save A Life

Chapter Two

"I got more. Come on." He walked ahead of me towards the exit which led out of the commons and into the corridors. 

"Colin, are you okay?" I turned my head at the familiar female voice. It was the same girl who asked if I was okay in the hallway earlier. She was walking to her table with a lunch tray when she passed me.

"I thought I told you not to talk to me," I said and walked out of the cafeteria. I could hear the laughter from the jocks as I took those last steps out of the cafeteria.

We walked in silence down the hallway and towards the back entrance where no one can see us. The fresh air really helped with the anxiety I was feeling now. And, maybe a quick smoke will ease me up.

I leaned up against the wall at the smoker's pit and watched as Matt pulled a few joints out of the bag and handed one to each of us. "Here you go," He said as he was passing them around.

"Thanks, Matt," I said and stuck the joint in my mouth. I started feeling around my pockets for my lighter but couldn't find it. I must have left it on my nightstand at home. "Shit. Matt, you have a light?"

"Yeah," He nodded and placed his joint in his mouth so he could look for his lighter. He pulled it out of his back pocket, lighting his joint before passing the lighter on to me. I lit my joint before passing the lighter back to Matt. Matt looked at Kyle and Josh, holding his lighter out to them. "You need this?"

They both shook their heads and pulled out their individual lighters.

I watched Josh struggle with his lighter until just enough flame came out to light his joint. "Damn it," He whispered. "I'm almost out of lighter fluid."

"I have a couple unused ones at my house," I said. "You can have one."

"Thanks, man," He said with a puff of smoke exiting his mouth with each word.

"So, what's the plan for tonight?" Matt asked me.

"Just meet me at my house straight after school," I said and took a long drag of my joint, blowing the smoke to the side so it didn't blow on anyone's face. "The folks won't be home for a while anyway."

"You're so lucky your parents don't care and don't invade your privacy," Matt said, soft smoke exiting his mouth.

I chuckled and took a short drag. "I love it. They're so focused on my brother's academic performance in college or whatever that they completely forget about me."

Matt pointed a finger at me. "This is why I hate being an only child. I get absolutely no privacy and my folks are always on my case. I can't keep anything from them. I had to roll these joints up once they left for work this morning."

I chuckled again. "My brother is the scholar of the family so everything is focused on him. They probably won't even notice if I killed myself."

Josh chuckled with a drag of his joint. "Dude, I think that would be hard to ignore."

I chuckled back. "Trust me. It will probably take them a few days to find out. I haven't even seen or spoken with them today. They leave for work before I even wake up."

Matt pointed his joint at me to make a point as he spoke. "See? I think that all parents should just leave their kids alone when they reach a certain age. We're eighteen-years-old for Christ sake. We are technically adults."

I nodded while pulling my phone out of my pocket to check the time because that stupid asshole still has my watch. "The lunch period ends in about ten minutes. We should start wrapping up and get to class." They all nodded in agreement. We decided long ago to try and get to class before the hallways get too cluttered with students. Justin and his friends always made me late for class so I always preferred getting to class before he could enter the halls. It was a pain to deal with the rush everyday but it's saved me a lot of torment.

We waited a couple minutes before putting out our joints and made our way to class. My friends and I had most of our classes together. Just enough to make us feel comfortable. Unfortunately, Justin was in half of them and a couple that my friends weren't in. That's when the harassment really starts. Justin and his friends are the reason why I've been struggling in school all these years. It's a miracle that they're allowing me to graduate with my class on time. This doesn't make those ideations ever less intense than they already are.

KNOW THE SIGNS

-Exhibiting excessive over-reactions or aggressive behavior for a seemingly minor reason can signal someone who cannot self-regulate their emotions or control their anger.

-Gestures of violence and low commitment or aspiration toward school, or a sudden change in academic performance can be a sign that someone needs help.

-Perpetrators of self-harm or violence towards others may be victims to long-term bullying and may have real or perceived feelings of being picked on or persecuted by others.

-Making overt threats of violence (spoken, written, pictures, videos, gestures) are signs that should not be ignored.

-Previous suicide attempts, ideation, self-harm (leading indicators to self-harm)

-Homicidal ideation